Thursday 22 February 2024

Draconic Shennanigans - Episode 12

 Chapter 12: Of Krakens, Sushi and Yeeted Sailors

 Ulrich rode through the warehouse district of Lotton, trying and failing to shift the bad mood Jeremiah had put him in. Ruddy disgraced, over indulgent priest. Ok, Ulrich would admit that he had kind of started it with his prank last night but the was meant in good fun and to pop the oversized bubble head that Jeremiah seemed to have.

The man appeared to have the sort of sense of humor where it was fine for him to play all sorts of nasty, underhanded games on other people. Ulrich was not going to forget the absolute mess Thorian had been in when Calypso died any time soon. Yes, Thorian didn't seem to be very grateful about the liquor Ulrich had given him but obviously the orc cross breed was more susceptible to hangovers than most, fact that, if Ulrich had know it, would have meant he would not have given Thorian the second bottle. One would have been enough and then off to bed to sleep it off after probably a bucket of tea to help wash it through the system. So yes, Thorian didn't seem to be that grateful right now but Ulrich could understand it, having brushed up against a few hangovers himself over the years but at least Thorian wasn't taking it out on him. Jeremiah on the other hand...

Ulrich scowled, an expression that made people, who were already moving out of the way, move even faster.

Jeremiah had his fun tormenting other people but when the tables where turned, well then he acted as if he had never done anything to attract the attentions of karma and resorted to the most petty, pathetic methods to extract his revenge. About the only thing that made this morning more bearable was the fact that he now knew for certain that Kaelin was distancing herself from the priest already. Obviously, what had ever had happened in the tower, Kaelin wasn't keen for a repeat of the experience. As much as Ulrich's gore rose at the... well it wasn't the thought of what might have happen because he wasn't allowing himself to think of it. As much as Ulrich's gore rose at what could have possibly driven that decision he was also glad of it. He had the feeling that Kaelin would have been a difficult one to convince but if she had convinced herself then all was well.

 As he reached the main square he realized that maybe riding his lizard wasn't the smarted move.

"Halt!" the guard held up his hand.

Making a split second call, Ulrich reigned in.

"Why officer, is there something wrong?" he kept his voice level and unbothered, ignoring the spears that the other guards were beginning to lower in his direction.

"You trying to be funny?" the guard asked.

"No sir, I am not, however, I do not wish to jump to conclusions about why you do not seem to be very relaxed this morning. I did hear that there was some trouble in the rich quarter last night but I do not wish to be a bore and tattle about such things. It is rather uncouth to chew over another's misfortune," Ulrich made sure that he spoke gravely. This could be a very unfortunate situation if he didn't handle it right but he made sure to smatter in a little of his education. Perhaps if the guards could tell that he was fairly close to being a noble then perhaps it could help with convincing them that he was unlikely to be involved in whatever had happened last night. Not that he could call on his father's name. He hadn't quite been disowned but it was very close to being disowned and if he wound up in even deeper trouble than he already was then it was quite likely that would be the last straw.

 "Where were you last night?" the guard demanded.

"At the water front," Ulrich answered promptly, "Riding this one and leading the pet of my comrade, a larger and uglier version of this one." He patted the lizard's neck and it slowly flicked its tongue at the guard captain. The man did not seem reassured by that gesture.

"And where were you going?"

"To the Armored Dragon, the ship we intend to take across the lake to Nether Wallop to resolve the civil issues that are happening over there," Ulrich did remember that he'd once been told to never volunteer information when he was being questioned but long experience had taught him how to balance between sharing and not sharing. If you didn't share enough then you just made yourself look suspicious.

"Cross the lake?" the guard demanded, "Don't you know that the shipping is shut?"

"We intend to open it back up," Ulrich replied, "That is apparently our duty as the King's Special."

"The King's Special?" the guard's eyes narrowed, "Where's the King's Blade?"

"Hartseer has some difficulty with ships, I understand that his weight has a habit of putting his foot through the bottom of the boat and that would be a problem for us," Ulrich replied, "Particularly if the little beastie out there is as grouchy as the sailors report. Therefore, Hartseer is transversing the south shore of the lake and will meet us at Nether Wallop."

"So why are you away from the ship now, ugh?" the guard demanded, "The docks are back that way."

Ulrich leaned forward and beckoned the guard closer. The man didn't move but Ulrich had made the effort.

"We of the King's Special might be worse sort of criminals as far as the Guard might be concerned," he confided, "And you are probably right but that doesn't stop the fact that we have been forced to work together by the King. We may be doing our best to do the job but that doesn't stop some interpersonal difficulties if you follow my meaning. After all, I highly doubt that you get along with all of your comrades in the guards, do you?"

The guard gave a cautious grunt. He wasn't entirely convinced but he was beginning to relax.

"This morning was one of those mornings where we were just not going to be able to stay in close proximity without some fireworks becoming a problem," Ulrich admitted, "And as we were on a wooden ship I decided that it would be best to remove half of the problem, seeing as the other half of the problem wasn't ever going to admit to their faults." Ulrich rolled his eyes and then gave the guard a look that invited him to commiserate.

The guard grunted again.

"So where were you going?" he asked.

"Dippler's Pie Shop," Ulrich answered, "We had some decent nosh from there when we were passing through the first time, so I figured that having breakfast away from my friends would given the situation time to calm down."

The guard narrowed one eye and then nodded.

"We'll see you on your way and I might ask Dippler a few questions," he said at last.

"You are most welcome to join me, especially if it means I avoid any of this unpleasantness on my trip," Ulrich smiled and set his lizard walking at a much slower pace.

"Out of interest, are any of the rumors floating around the docks true about what happened last night?" Ulrich asked.

"Need to know," the guard grunted.

"Fair enough," Ulrich shrugged, "I merely asked because we will probably be called upon on the way back to sort out the mess. Especially as one of our team has history with what was rumored to be active last night."

The guard grunted again but at least the rest of the squad wasn't pointing spears at him any more.

Dippler looked up from his tray of pies as the shop door opened.

"Morning Officer, what can I do you for?" his cheerful greeting seemed lost on the dour faced guard.

"This man? Seen him before?"

Dippler gave Ulrich a long look. Ulrich looked back and let the memory of a certain boat trip play back in his mind, willing Dippler to pick up on what he was thinking about.

"Yeah, came through two, three days ago. He and his merry band of mates just about cleared out one of my shelves. Why'd you ask?"

"They say were they were going?"

"Not that I can recall but they came in right before the morning rush so I was a little distracted at the time," Dippler admitted.

"How many of them were there?"

"This one, a lass who looked like if you said good morning to her she's kick yer in the fork, a fat priest sort and an orc crossbreed who had half a dozen of the Marvelous Miscellaneous," Dippler reported, "They also sold a couple of horses to mah mate Sweetie down the road. He said they were still in pretty good condition. Think he might be selling them later today."

"Alright," the guard seemed to decide something, "You buy your stuff and then shift out of town you understand?"

"From here to the docks," Ulrich promised, "I'll be quick as I can."

"Make sure you are," the guard grunted and walked back out of the shop, letting the door bang behind him.

"Thank you muchly," Ulrich smiled at Dippler, who grinned back.

"No squealing, no fowl," he said, "So how did you get yourself in trouble?"

"Didn't think this morning," Ulrich admitted, "Picked up a rather exotic mount and didn't consider the fact that with what was said to be going down in the rich quarter last night the guard would be picking up any one unusual."

"Not yer smartest move my ducky," Dippler observed, "You do realized that one is going to go and ask the gate guards who saw you coming into the town?"

"What, you mean this place has efficient guards?" Ulrich exclaimed with a grin, "What is the world coming to?"

"Comes of having a king who doesn't believe in dumping all the cheese gongs in one place and letting it go to the dogs," Dippler grinned, "But yeah he will be asking around and if he works out that you didn't come into the city with that mount but now you have it, he's going to be asking questions."

"Well that could be uncomfortable you you as well," Ulrich noted.

"Why do you suppose that I didn't drop you in it with them? As I said - no squeal, no fowl," Dippler grinned.

"In that case I'll take three of your steak pies and make sure we are back at the ship and sailing soon as," Ulrich grinned back, "If we sort out the beastie in the lake then everybody should be too busy with sorting out the supple disruption to worry about following it up."

"You could be right there," Dippler nodded as he flipped a box into being and loaded it with pies, "Give 'em something more important to deal with and give yerself some space away from where the lords and ladies have been kicked up."

"Was there any truth to what was said to be going on in the rich quarter last night?" Ulrich asked as Dippler tied up the box with the off color string.

"Two of 'em are dead," Dippler reported, "One of the patriarchs and one of the heir of another house and several of the little ladies have been injured, according to the tattle."

"That is going to cause a shake up," Ulrich observed.

"Ain't it just, especially as one of the ones damaged was the pretty little thing that was being engaged off just last night," Dippler observed as he made Ulrich's payment disappear at speed.

"Oh stonk!" Ulrich swore, "That is really going to disturb the power balance."

"It is that," Dippler grinned, "Apparently those two families have been trying to dicker a partnership for years and now the little furries have upset all that."

"How do you know all that?" Ulrich asked, frowning.

"I used to supply the servant grade meat to one of the big houses when I started out, still have me contacts," Dippler touched the side of his nose, "Still get a few of them coming down here when they have their pay packs in the winter festival and don't have to send the lot home to family to help get the little 'uns stuff they needs. They like my spiced winter pies, they do, the ham and winter pickle one also fair flies off the shelf and the dried fruit one sells well too, specially as I can buy in the ingredients for that one earlier in the year when they're cheaper. You hear a lot when the servants are in swapping gossip, if you keep your ears open and your mouth shut. Got to remember that, sometimes you learn more to your advantage if you listen to what the little people say and what they don't say, if you following my meaning."

Dippler winked.

"Now run along my chummy, before them guards come to give you more of a hard time. I'll see you the next time you come through this way, for mah 'steak' pies." The grin he gave Ulrich was wicked and Ulrich found himself grinning back as he turned out the door. Dippler was incorrigible but some how likeable and it had certainly shifted his crummy mood from earlier. Ulrich swung up on to his lizard's back and swung it round to towards the docks. Maybe today was going to be better than he'd thought.

*

On the Armored Dragon Thorian woke up and lay still a moment, double checking that neither the miniature giant space dwarf nor the invisible giant space dragon had come by for a second visit. Reassured that his head wasn't trying to do an impression of a stepped on water melon Thorian levered himself upright... and bumped his head on the bunk above him. He froze for a moment and then very slowly raised a hand to the top of his noggin and carefully probed for a lump. It didn't feel like there was a lump coming up so he stood up and looked round for his shirt.

"You reckon we're going to see that beastie today, Kaelin?" he asked as he shrugged it on. No reply was forth coming. He looked round and Kaelin's bunk was already empty. Thorian shrugged. It always seemed that he was the last one to wake up.

Pushing the door open he stepped out on deck and looked around in time too see a couple of sailors dragging a third up the gang plank. The one stumbling in their none too gentle grip seemed to be unable to speak an understandable sentence or even to move in a straight line.

"What's up with him?" Thorian asked no one in particular as he watched the bosun haul a bucket of water up the side of the ship, then the harbor wind shifted and the smell of the guy came wafting towards Thorian. The orc crossbreed wrinkled his nose. "Smells like those bottles Ulrich gave me the other day, gone bad," he observed.

"That, my dear Thorian, is precisely why that sailor smells like that and looks so bad," Jeremiah spoke from where he lent of the railing, sipping slowly at a steaming mug, "He has been drinking, probably since this ship made port, and now he needs sobering up." Thorian winced in sympathy as the bosun unceremoniously dumped the bucket of water over the drunken sailors head. The guy straightened up with a yelp and then lurched to the railing where he shouted at Hughie for several minutes. The bosun simply walked to the other side of the ship, hauled up another bucket of water and when the sailor had stopped bellowing at Raff, emptied that over him as well. The sailor shook himself like a wet dog and shivered to be told in no uncertain terms to get below and get a hot drink from the galley.

While the sailors escorted their mate below, the bosun made his way up the poop deck steps to were the Captain was lent on the railing, watching the bustle of the water front.

Entertainment over, Thorian looked around.

"Seen Kaelin?" he asked.

"Up there," Jeremiah gestured up into the rigging. Kaelin was perched up high in the main rigging, just below the main top, one leg hooked through the ropes of the rigging, holding with one hand and leaning back so she could see clear down the length of the ship and out towards the horizon. With the wind blowing in her hair it seemed as if they were already on their way as far as Kaelin was concerned.

"Seems she likes this place," Thorian noted. Jeremiah grunted. Behind them there was a noise coming from the poop deck steps.

Ka-flup, ka-flup, ka-flup.

Risk, the huge white bird, hoped down the poop deck steps to the amidship deck. Stopping for a moment he looked up at Jeremiah with one cocked eye and then sedately waddled on his way towards the forecastle, shaking his tails as he did so.

"Thar is one strange bird," Thorian nodded to himself.

"Well, my friends," the Captain's strong white teeth shone in his dark face as he walked down the stepped, "It seems that the bosun has managed to find all of mah crew and none of them permanently broken. We should be ready to make sail soon but where is your friend Ulrich? I do hope that he has not had a reconsideration of your friendship." He cocked an eyebrow at Jeremiah.

"Ulrich seemed to suffer from feeling cramped in too small of a space last night and decided that he would go ashore to find his breakfast this morning," Jeremiah smiled, "Tell me, will he be able to get back in time or will we have to explain why he is missing to the King's Blade when we reach Nether Wallop?"

"I dare say that mah crew could do with a little more time to convince themselves that they are a crew and not just a bunch of drunks and disorderlies," the Captain smiled as if sharing a joke with Jeremiah but there was something else in the look of his eyes. Jeremiah's answering smile became just a little bit fixed. "In the mean time, I would suggest that a breakfast is in order. I believe that the cook has some bacon on the skillet, if mah nose tells me anything at all."

"Bacon?" Thorian's eyes shone with glee. There was the whizz of rope through a deadeye  and Kaelin landed on the deck with an almost friendly look in her eyes.

"That sounds like the best breakfast option that I'm had in quite a long while," she observed. Even the albatross seemed to agree, breaking out in a series of long calls, half spreading his enormous wings. Kaelin had to suppress her smile. To her ear, Risk sounded so much like a trumpet, that had a puncture.

Parp toot!

Haggis apparently agreed.

The Captain smiled and lifted his arm to wave at his companion.

"Aye Risk, I'll remember to bring you some. I would not expect my best friend to fly on an empty stomach," the Captain called and then lead the way down below the deck. Risk refolded... and refolded his mighty wings, shuffling his tail as he did so

It was while they were enjoying the thick, crispy slices of bacon on slabs of bread that the Captain broached another subject.

"That is a most unusual instrument you have there," he said to Kaelin, "Is that part of our defense against the critter in the lake?"

"If it works properly," Kaelin swallowed a large lump of bacon and bread, "Should be. And if I can't give the Kraken the collie wobbles then I should be able to give your crew members a good heart for the fighting of it."

"And did you bring anything else to be facing this Kraken with? 'Cause if Kraken it be then we will need all the help we can have," the Captain said gravely.

"Yeap," Thorian said around a mouthful of bread and bacon, "We all carried some, so they didn't wind up getting dropped again."

"Dropped again?" the Captain raised his eye brows.

"Yes our big green friend is not the most steady person upon his feet," Jeremiah noted.

"If you'd been willing to take some of the weight from the get go," Thorian didn't look round from his sandwich, "You might have found which box we needed but I had dug it out from the bottom of the heap. We could have gone halves and done fair splits of the work."

"Needless to say the repair job is a good one," Jeremiah gave Thorian a grade three level stare before turning back to the Captain, "And we will be ready to set them up when they are needed."

"And you will not be setting them up before hand? We don't know how fast this critter is," the Captain remarked.

"We'd prefer not too," Jeremiah smiled and to his surprise the Captain smiled and shrugged.

"It is fine by me," his smile once again carried the edge of something, "After all, if the critter eats you before me then it is most likely to leave, don't you think?"

Kaelin found herself wondering at the Captain's tone. There was an interplay of undertones that seemed to suggest that if the Kraken ate Jeremiah it would either be too full to want to attack them further, or it would be too busy trying to spit and clean its mouth parts with all its tentacles to want to try the taste of the rest of them for fear that they would be just as foul.

Above their heads there was a clumping sound on the deck boards. Lifting his head to listen, the Captain lead the way up the ladder.

"Well, friend," he greeted, "We were beginning to wonder if we would have to leave without you."

Ulrich grinned down from the back of his lizard.

"I was beginning to wonder the same," he admitted as he swung down to the deck, "The guards were feeling in the need to flex their muscles this morning."

"So there was some truth to the rumors going round last night?" the Captain asked.

"Too much," Ulrich confirmed as he lead the lizard back down into the hold and put it back in the pen that had been mocked up for it, "At least two of the nobles are dead and several marriage alliances are now in jeopardy." He looked at Kaelin. "They were targeting the women." Kaelin's eyes went smoky dark and then she nodded. Ulrich concealed his flinch. He'd wondered after their discussion during the first dinner they were at the Wizard's Tower just how deeply Kaelin was tied into the werewolf activity. Between her fear of going north of the river and what that one who got away had said he had suspected a connection, now he was sure of it. He also understood what had gotten her on to the King's Special. Running from a family like that would have meant she would have had no choice but to resort to some rather unpleasant and illegal means to survive. How much trouble this was going to cause the team remained to be seen. Then he glanced at Jeremiah as he came back out on deck and nearly exploded with laughter. Just imagining the priest as a very dumpy and overly hairy werewolf nearly had him in stitches.

"What?" Jeremiah asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," Ulrich smiled, "Nothing at all." He turned and strode to the poop deck steps, "Permission to step on to the officers deck?" He addressed the Captain.

"Permission granted," the Captain smiled and then raised his voice, "Bosun? Are all stores loaded and stowed?"

"Aye aye Sir!" the bosun roared.

"Are all crew accounted for?"

"Aye aye Sir!"

"All cargo secured?"

"Aye aye Sir!" came the called from the quarter master.

The Captain smiled and nodded to his officers, "In that case..." He drew in a breath that swelled out his already barrel like chest.

"Hands aloft!" he roared.

"Hands aloft!" came back the cry and sailors buzzed up from below decks, swarming to the rigging, checking tools as they went or scurrying to the lines fore and aft.

"Loose fore top, main top and fore topmast stay!"

"Loose fore top, main top and fore topmast stay!" came back the cry, sailors speeding up the rigging. Kaelin watched them avidly as they pulled themselves out along the shroud spars.

Team by team the calls came in asking permission to loose the sails, answered with clear 'let fall' cries from the Captain. As the sails came out of their securings the deck team took over control, ready to pull the sails taunt to catch the wind.

"Raise the gangplank!"

"Raise the gangplank!" Thorian found himself a space near the cargo hatches where he seemed to be out of the way as sailors ran hither and yonder in what looked like chaos but still had control in it.

"Cast off fore line!" the Captain roared.

"Cast off fore line!" the coil of rope was untied, looped and tossed back to the ship.

"Cast off aft line!"

"Cast off aft line!" the sailors coiled it back into place on the deck.

"Set the sails!"

"Set the sails!" the crew called back and with a great rustling of canvas the sails unfolded down and out, pulled tight until the cries of 'All's well!' echoed across the deck. With a judder and a creak that ran the whole length of the keel, the ship moved forward, water beginning to run against her hull with a hush and a sigh, nosing her way out into the waters of the lake, heading east. Ulrich looked back over the starboard rail in time to see a squad of guards march to the end of the wharf and glare after the ship. He straightened and waved his hand slowly, baying them farewell. For some reason they didn't appreciate the gesture. Ulrich turned his head to see the Captain grinning at him and without a word they started to laugh. 

"Well," Jeremiah observed from midships, "I must concede that you were correct Captain, sailing a ship is a lot more complicated than I had expected and certainly not something that we would have managed on our own."

 The Captain smile without pride.

"As I said then, if any fool could stand on a deck and tell the ship where it was he wanted it to go then what need would there be for sailors?"

"None at all," Jeremiah smiled back, "So we will have to hope for your sake that they never invent a self guiding ship."

"They won't do that in my life time," the Captain laughed, "They won't do that in my life time."

Up on the fore castle Risk finished downing his plate of bacon rashers and then hopped, by stages, up on to the railing to the right of the bowsprit. After a moment of turning his head this way and that he unfolded the massive wings that seemed to shine white even in the daylight and with barely a flap he lifted up and away from the ship.

Kaelin, once she was sure the sailors weren't going to be needing to climb up and down for a while, skimmed up to her perch in the rigging, letting the breeze play in her hair. It was strange to sail over such a body of water and not smell salt but she was still free for a time, free of her grandfather's influence. Part of her wondered if she could take to the sailing life. She'd never considered it but it would make it difficult for the old bastard to follow her. There again, if it was him who had attacked the mansion last night and she was damn sure it was...

She sighed. Letting in the hunters hadn't stopped him, only delayed him. She glanced over her shoulder to were the Captain chatted idly with Ulrich on the poop deck. The old sea hand was right, running from the storm had only driven her on to the rocks. This was her problem, her fight. If nothing else she owed it to the young women her grandfather was targeting to stop him. After a moment she lifted her hand and opened the locket so that if Charlotte was there then she could also enjoy the way the sun light shone on the waters.

Rocking slightly the ships sailed on, land falling away behind it and Risk cruising ahead of it. Sometimes the great bird tipped a wing and drifted back to float beside the ship for a while, seeming to hoover along side the rigging. He seemed to find the sight of Kaelin up in the rigging a fascinating thing to behold. She nodded to hi each time he went passed. Jeremiah settled himself in the sun and seemed to fall into a doze while Thorian nattered to an idle sailor, asking him just how much strength it took to be able to pull the sails. He seemed crest fallen when the sailor told him that all of them had to be able to manage the climbing in the rigging without falling, Thorian's two left feet obviously betraying a hope he'd had of work.

As the day pushed on Ulrich found himself becoming sleepy with the rocking of the ship, eyes lazily scanning the southern horizon.

"Do I dare say anything?" he stretched and leaned back on the railing, "Do I really dare to say anything?"

Ahead of them Risk let loose a high, shrill cry. The Captain's reaction was instantaneous. He swung to the port railing and peered ahead, brow furrowed as he raised a hand to shield his eyes.

"Apparently not," Ulrich muttered as the rest of the crew on deck started standing up, eyes turned to where Risk was crying out his shrill warning.

"Wake up," Thorian pocked Jeremiah on the way passed as he hurried to the starboard rail.

"Wait... What," Jeremiah slurred as he sat up and rubbed his hands over his face, trying to get the gears in his mind to line up straight enough to notice something beyond the water being wet.

Up in the rigging Kaelin leaned further out, peering ahead trying to see what had disturbed Risk. On the eastern sky line a long, black line had appeared and it was growing by the second, boiling up over the horizon, thick as tar, black as night and seething like a dragon denied the treasure it believed to be its right. Kaelin felt her mouth go dry as she realized that it was running against the wind. She was already heading for the deck before the Captain drew in his breath.

"Lads!" the Captain roared, "Batten down the hatches, rig the life lines and lash the cargo with double lines! Here it comes!"

The sailors jumped as if lightning had already struck. Within seconds the way down to the holds were closed and barred, life lines tied, cabin doors bolted shut and a scurrying from below spoke of the cook and his helpers dousing the galley fire and double lashing the cargo and canons.

"You lot!" the Captain bellowed as he pushed aside the sailor holding the wheel and lashed himself to it in the dragonkin's place, "Whatever you are are going to do, get to it! We've a welcoming party waiting for us!"

"Aye Aye Sir!" Thorian shouted back, making a very unpracticed salute. Kaelin grabbed one of the lamps that showed no sign of repair and Ulrich grabbed the other.

"Shouldn't one of those go right in the bow and the other up there on the stern?" Jeremiah asked. Ulrich and Kaelin looked at each other, Ulrich raising his eyebrows. Kaelin nodded.

"Good thinking for once," she said as she ran for the bow.

"For once?" Jeremiah demanded but Ulrich was already moving.

"Get one of those to the port poop deck steps," he shouted over his shoulder.

"I beg your..." Jeremiah demanded.

"Just do it," Thorian said, grabbing two, depositing one at the starboard poop deck steps and then hurrying to set another at the starboard back stays of the foremast. Jeremiah grumbled under his breath but shifted his butt as the edge of the racing cloud loomed ahead of them, casting a shadow so thick it seemed that it could have been spread on toast.

Kaelin smacked the pins to hold the lamp steady in the bow home into the wood and then ran to grab the last one and hammer it down by the port side back stays of the fore mast. Ulrich hammered his into place and then checked how secure the ones by the poop deck steps. Kaelin secured the last one as Jeremiah called out the instructions of how to activate the lamps to the sailors who stood on deck. The Captain gave the order and six of them took up stations by the lamps, the remaining four hefting long harpoons in their hands as the sky above them darkened and the sunlight was cut off off abruptly.

Kaelin grabbed a life line and looped it round her waist as she set herself on the cargo hatch. Ulrich stood by the starboard poop deck steps, hefting the jewel encrusted blade the chest weasel had given him. Jeremiah climbed up to the poop deck without asking but in that moment no one noticed.

Then the first swell hit the bow and the ship reared like a frightened horse before slamming down into the trough behind it. Everyone staggered at the sudden change. Kaelin swallowed back and unslung Haggis, blowing to inflate his bag, the throbbing drone beginning to fill the air. Beside her Thorian groaned as the ship bucked again. The orc cross breed reeled, clapping his hands to his mouth as he changed color, going a very strange shade of yellow.

The ship smashed into another swell, her bow pointing to the heavens for a moment before she tipped and plunged towards the depths.

Thorian gurgled and dashed for the starboard railing, where his bacon sandwich breakfast was totally wasted. With a sound some where between a belch and choke, Thorian shouted a rainbow at the lake and was slapped in the face by a wall of water for his pains. A moment later the skies opened and the rain crashed down, so thick and heavy it seemed that the gods themselves were throwing the entire linen closet down on them. Within seconds the deck was a wash and everyone's hair was plastered to their skulls, their clothes soaked through and water gurgling in their boots.

Then the ship shuddered and cried as if she had struck a reef. Lightning tore across the heavens in a blazing sheet that made the clouds glow green, answering corona glow shining from the mast tops. The thunder didn't rumble, the sound of it stamped down on them like a giant's boot.

And then Jeremiah saw what was squirming up above the railings of the ship, rearing high over them, dripping and slimy and squishy.

"Klu'ga-nath protect me!" he squealed, not caring who heard him, his blistering tongue unfelt.

Thorian looked up at the rubbery, sucker studded, pinkish white tentacles that was towering over the side of the ship.

"Oh I-kay-a-ki," he observed, naming a squid dish he'd sampled in his travels along the coast but his stomach did not appreciate the reminder of food.

"Oh!" Thorain yelled and then bent double over the side of the ship again, trying to energetically throw his toe nails over the side, or at least that was what the epic stomach cramps told him he was doing. Thus he was distracted from the first terrified wails as said tentacles writhed into life, descending with agonizing slowness towards the decks and the trembling sailors there.

Kaelin blew into Haggis with all her strength, cheeks puffed out, red faced with effort, fingers flying up and down the chanter reed, Haggis's voice challenging the thunder above to drown him out.

"Lights on!" Jeremiah roared, some how his voice cutting through the sailors' dumb terror. Somehow their fingers found the activation runes and beams of light almost as bright as the lightning stabbed into the dark.

The Armored Dragon shuddered again, a strange vibration quaking through the deck, as the tentacles flinched back, their skin bubbling and weeping as the light touched them. The sailors needed no extra prompting, lashing out with the harpoons in their hands. Several jarred off the Krakens slimy, rubbery skin but one or two managed to bite and bite in deep, thick blue blood spilling across the deck, mixing with the rain water that lashed down.

The Kraken's response was instantaneous and vicious.

The sailor manning the light by the port side steps screamed as the nearest tentacle smashed down towards him, crushing the light out of existence and pinning his legs to the deck. He screamed again as it ripped him over the side and he disappeared into the dark, thrashing water. The other tentacles pummeled the deck, cracking planks and snagging in the rigging.

Lightning tore across the heavens again and it that brief flash of light Ulrich struck out, the edge of his elven made, fae given blade slashing deep into the tentacle rearing high over the starboard side of the poop deck, passing through it with barely any resistance, the blade's edge so sharp that the strange blue blood hardly clung to it. Again the ship shuddered beneath their feet, the weird vibration almost a scream, felt through the feet rather than heard by the ears.

Through the storm and the thunder Kaelin played, straining to make Haggis heard above the rumble and crash of thunder. Behind her, on the Poop deck Jeremiah yelled above the storm, book clenched in one fist as he tried to inspire courage and ferocity into the sailors, even as the rain soaked the pages and threatened to mark the ink run.

With yells of either terror or rage the sailors rose up mightily, harpoons striking out at the four tentacle encircling the ship, hacking and slashing for all they were worth. Thorian straightened, finally back in control of his stomach and charged the tentacle on the starboard side that slapped and crashed over the bow, trying to find and destroy the light that burnt its flesh. Thorian's blade crashed down, more like an axe than a sword and the tentacle went into spasm, near severed in two.

Ulrich span his blade in the fancy loops and brandishes of a master swords man and the other tentacle that threatened the starboard side fell in loops and rings, cut clean through, the bleeding stump jerking back under water as the ship moaned in the grip of the thing that held it.

On the port side the tentacles slashed out and another sailor collapsed to the deck, smashed out of existence by the kraken's rage but it had put its limbs within the reach of his avenging mates and harpoon blows rained down on the blubber like flesh, gouging deep wounds into the fore one and completely chopping the one by the poop deck steps.

The tentacle by Thorian reared up, blood hosing from its half cut girth and the flopping, twitching stump nearly floored him as it swung like a wrecking ball at him. Thorian ducked and swung and the heavy length crashed to the decks, blocking the starboard steps to the forecastle deck.

A sailor screamed on the port side as the writhing, questing tentacle smashed down, barely missing him as it crashed down on the lamp, splintering the metal and crushing the glass to powder but the weird squealing scream echoed up through the ship's timbers as the sailors by the port steps to the poop deck rammed their harpoons through the battered tentacle and then heaved against each other. The tentacle came apart, shredded, the ragged stump wavering as if this time the pain was so great it didn't understand what had just happened.

As Kaelin blew a jeering, mocking tune Thorian charged across the rain sloshing deck and struck with a huge lateral blow that made the tentacle by the port side fore steps jump free of its stump. The writhing mass bounced off the timber of the ship and sent a wall of spray as it crashed into the heaving waves.

The cheer of the sailors challenged the rolling thunder as Kaelin let the reed fall from her mouth to grin at Thorian. 

"No need to thank me," Jeremiah smiled benignly, "It was my duty as a man of the cloth to give what aide I could to moral in such dire circumstances." Ulrich rolled his eyes at the show of humbleness, even as he tried to dry his blade, the rain showing no signs of letting up.

"Is this what you people call a shower?" Thorian grinned a he stepped closer to Kaelin.

Thunder rolled; it rolled a natural twenty.

The four tentacles burst out of the lake and smashed down on the deck, flailing and pounding as the ship juddered and squealed in the kraken's grip. Jeremiah yelled as a great tangle of rigging, rope and shattered spares collapsed down on top of him, engulfing him and leaving him fighting under the dripping, clinging mass.

The light on the starboard side fore steps popped out of existence a second before the tentacle reared up and tangled itself in the fore rigging, popping dead eyes and bull's eyes out of the wood and cracking spares.

The sailor's yelled as the two aft tentacles reached over their heads and coiled around the mizzen mast, yanking the ship from side to side as it sort to rip the mast out of its housing, the deck planks popping and flapping up and down around it as the Kraken twisted the mast like a farmer trying to twist a rotten post out of the post hole.

In desperation the sailors converged, hacking at the tentacle on the port side, smashing the barbed sides of the harpoon heads into the tentacle and then dragging them backwards to saw through the rubbery flesh. Blue blood mixed with lashing rain to half blind them but their vicious attacks didn't let up and what looked like half the tentacle was left hanging from the spar of the mizzen royal sail when the ragged stump finally dragged back over the  railing. Any hope of cheering was short lived as a scream ring out. The sailor manning the light in the bow, crouched by his charge, trying to keep the tentacles locked in the beams of blistering light even as they dragged the two sailors that had been guarding him clear off the deck and smashed them down into the lake. They vanished without a chance to scream themselves.

"Get off mah friends!" Thorian roared, his eyes turning red. Kaelin saw and took a massive gamble. Haggis rang out with an explosive, violent chorus that ripped through the air with the force of a serrated blade.

Thorian bounded forward, cleared the forecastle steps in a single leap, seized the sailor by the collar and threw him out of the way. The Captain stared in stunned amazement as the sailor sailed passed his ear and out over the stern of the ship.

"You there, life lines out you lazy lot! Shift yer afts or I'll yeet the lot of you out there to join him!" he bellowed at the stunned knot clustered from where they had finished hacking at the tentacle slowly uncoiling from round the mizzen mast. They leapt to obey, staggering as the tentacle still holding the mizzen mast yanked it to starboard.

On the forecastle, Thorian was a blaze of motion and roars, blue blood sheeting into the air, chunks and splatters of rubbery flesh bouncing and quivering across the decks as one tentacle just exploded in half. The other reared back, sliding and slithering off the deck, suckers popping and squishing as it retreated. Thorian wasn't going to give it such mercy. It erupted, a solid wall of disintegrated flesh and blood blasting across the forecastle deck, turning the rippling rain water almost purple.

The ship lurched as the last tentacle released the mizzen mast and smashed down on the last light on the starboard side. It rose again for a second blow. Ulrich rose gracefully to the points of his toes and then his jewel studded blade whispered through the air, a faint trail of bisected raindrops trailing after it as it whipped back and forth through the tentacles. The flesh of the tentacle barely seemed to move and for a moment, Jeremiah struggling loose of the tumbled canvas thought at Ulrich had missed... then the section in front of Ulrich parted and fell as rings of flesh that bounced and rolled across the deck, the top section toppling like a tree and smashing to the deck, missing Jeremiah and the Captain by inches. Jeremiah swore as he scrambled back out of the way.

"Do you always have to show off," Thorian shouted from where he knelt, hanging his head like a sick dog as he gasped for breath, rain water and spray surging round his knees, washing the deck clean. He lifted his head as the sun pierced through the clouds, the rain finally slackening off.

Within moments the last splatters of raindrops pattered down, the clouds parted and the swell calmed and settled as if the storm had never occurred.

With a final parp Kaelin let Haggis fall silent, looking about herself at the wreckage that now made the deck. Tangled and broken rigging flapped and trailed, the shattered pieces of four of the lamps mixed into the mess. She counted the remaining sailors.

"What's up?" Ulrich asked as he walked down the poop deck steps.

"Four," Kaelin's expression was despondent.

"I'm sure Elisha will understand," Ulrich reassured her.

"No, I didn't mean that," Kaelin rubbed a straggle of hair out of her face, "We lost four of the sailors. It took them. No, five. We lost five of them and the last of them was...was my fault... I triggered Thorian's rage... I.... I didn't think."

A ragged cheer sounded from the stern. Dripping, coughing and shivering the sailor that had flown the whole length of the ship was hauled over the railing and helped to his feet by his mates. Kaelin sighed in relief.

"O.K. only four," she managed a weak smile, "Not great but better than I feared."

Thorian lurched down the forecastle steps and limped to the poop deck steps. He struggled up them to approach the sailor that he had thrown the length of the ship.

"I'm sorry about slinging you like that," Thorian said. Jeremiah looked round at the orc crossbreed and started muttering under his breath.

"What?" the sailor asked looking up and then he eyes went wide.

"I said I'm sorry about slinging you down the ship," Thorian repeated, slightly puzzled by the way that the man was staring at him as if he'd just grow an extra head, "I just wanted you out of the way before I went to work on it. I could feel myself getting too angry, watching that thing trying to squish you like that and I wanted you out of the way before I lost it. I didn't expect you to wind up in the drink, so sorry again." Thorian held out his hand but the sailor just whimpered and went slack in his mates' grip, eyes rolling back in his head until only the whites showed.

"Was it something I said?" Thorian looked round, asking everyone there.

"I think the shock was just too much for him," the Captain gave the now silent Jeremiah a look as he handed the wheel over to the bosun, "And I for one don't blame him. Get him below decks, out of his wet things and wrapped up warm. Tell the cook to heat him up a hot drink and add that cook is to heat a warm potage for all of us while he's at it. The rest of you, start clearing up this mess, we need to go over this ship from stem to stern and discover what is still working. Bosun, keep her on the heading and steady as she goes. Friend Ulrich, if you could see to using that fancy sword of yours and chop up what our unpleasant guest left behind then the cook might be able to make use of it."

With a slither and a thump the tentacle wrapped around the mizzen mast came free and cascaded to the deck, pulling more of the rigging out of order.

"On it," Ulrich nodded and set to work clearing the starboard steps.

"I am never eating squid again," he observed after a few moments, pausing to wipe sweat from his brow, "There again," he hefted his blade, "Maybe I will just on the principle of revenge."

"Friend Kaelin," the Captain addressed her, "Would you be so kind as to find a way up into what we have left of our rigging and keep an eye out for more of that weather. I do not expect our unpleasant critter to come back for another round but I would rather not run the risk of it having a friend to send after us."

"Not a problem," Kaelin nodded and managed to scrabble up the knotted cobweb of rigging to the main topmast, were she settled herself of a spot of weather watching. The breeze played with her hair as if it had never been anything more than friendly.

Jeremiah was surreptitiously checking his book. He'd felt it warm in his pocket when he'd worked the illusion spell on the sailor so he'd seen Thorian as a ravening beast come to bite his head off. Now that Jeremiah inspected it, not only were there no signs of water damage, it was looking even better than it had done. It almost looked to be in the same condition as the one he had lifted out of the Abbey library. There was some sort of magic here but he wasn't quite sure what and it wasn't like he could ask his companions about it, dull creatures that they were. As he stroked the cover he felt something, something like a warm and tender caress around his soul. His darkling god's approval was almost over whelming and he quietly slipped the book back into his pocket as he noticed that as Thorian hauled and dumped, shifted and lumped, the orc crossbreed was muttering to himself.

"Thorian , my dear friend," Jeremiah oiled over to the orc crossbreed, "Whatever is the matter my dear friend?" Thorian gave Jeremiah a careful look, his eyes not totally free of suspicion and he shifted several more lumps of Kraken over to the hatch way where a sailor was hauling them down below decks before he answered.

"I was just wondering if I could find someone to write me a note for that sailor I yeeted earlier as I don't write so good," Thorian eventually admitted, "I'm trying but I don't seem to get the hang of all those little wiggles and nobody else seems to get my pictures."

"Well perhaps I can help there," Jeremiah smiled, "Not to blow my own trumpet but I am a fair hand at writing and I am sure that if you spoke out loud what you wished to tell the sailor I'd be able to record it for you. Then you could give him the letter the next time you see him."

"That sounds Okay," Thorian admitted as he held a broken spar up so the sailors could unthread the rigging from it, "Thank you."

"Well then," Jeremiah smiled as he dug in his pockets until he pulled out a piece of parchment and an ink stick, "Speak away friend." Thorian thought for a moment as he shifted the broken spar to one side of the deck and collected more Kraken rings from Ulrich's efforts.

"I'd like to say I'm sorry again for throwing him out of the way so hard that he wound up flying off of the ship," as he spoke Jeremiah scribbled a way like mad, "I really didn't mean to do that, its just that I know that when I lose my temper I some times hurt people I don't mean to hurt and I didn't want that to happened to him. I'm right glad the others managed to get him out of the water and if it is alright, when we get to Nether Wallop I'd like to buy him a drink."

Jeremiah's ink stick scribbled over the page as Thorian spoke and he signed off a few moments after Thorian finished speaking.

"There you go," he smiled as he rolled up the parchment and handed it over.

"Thank..." Thorian paused as his hand closed about the parchment. Something about Jeremiah's smile wasn't friendly. There was something in his eyes that reminded Thorian of a shark, "You. Thank you  very much."

"Is there something wrong friend, Thorian?" Jeremiah's smile didn't flicker but the unpleasant edge grew stronger.

"Nah, course not," Thorian smiled back, sweating only slightly, "I'm sure you've got it all down just as I wanted it. Now if yah don't mind I'd better get back to helping out, our squiddy friend has left us with quite a mess to clean up." He tucked the letter into a pocket and Jeremiah seemed to relax.

"Of course," his smile became slightly less threatening, "I really should discover what I could do as well to help out the situation." Him wandered off and Thorian breathed a sigh of relief. There was something really bad about that priest some days.

Some hours later Thorian made sure he was in the right place to meet Kaelin as she came down from the rigging to bag some food.

"Er Kaelin could you help me out with something?" he asked diffidently.

"Depends," her usual sullen expression didn't give anything away, "What is it you're asking about?"

"I wanted to write that sailor I chucked about a note and Jeremiah wrote it down for me but I'm not sure he wrote what I wanted him to," Thorian explained, glancing about to make sure that Jeremiah wasn't hanging about. Indeed, despite the fat priest's words, he hadn't been doing a lot of work since the battle. He was always seen hurrying about but he always seemed to be on his way to do something, not actually doing anything and at the moment he seemed to be not on the deck. "I was wondering if you could take another look at it?"

"Yeah, why not," Kaelin held out her hand, "One of the few things Grandpa did let us learn, how to read and all that. Guess it was too ingrained for him to think of forbidding us to learn the trick." She read the note, her eyebrows slowly rising.

"It depends," she said at last, "Where you intending to rip the guys head off the next time you saw him or did you have something else in mind?"

"I never said that?" Thorian protested, "I was offering to buy him a drink!"

"Then I would say that Jeremiah was not the person you should have asked for help," Kaelin observed.

"Well its just that you and Ulrich seemed so busy and he asked if he could help," Thorian mumbled, his eyes welling with tears, "What have I ever done to him?"

"Been the easy target," Kaelin sighed, "That would be my guess, to Jeremiah you are an easy target. I'm sorry to say that some pure blood humans can delight in causing as much pain and torment to their fellow living beings as much as any monstrosity and Jeremiah seems to be one of them. What is more he seems to like picking on those he doesn't think can out wit him." She crumpled up the offending piece of parchment and lode it over the side. "Come on, I think the Captain can help out with this."

It turned out he could provide another piece of parchment, which was serviceable despite its blemishes and Kaelin could write well enough to note down Thorian's note, as he actually wanted it written down. With some relief Thorian tucked the new note into his pocket but turned around to find Jeremiah watching him.

"Why friend Thorian," Jeremiah asked, "Was there something wrong with the letter I wrote down for you earlier?"

"Er..." Thorian felt his brain trying to run away and squeak but then he remembered what Kaelin had said about Jeremiah picking on people he didn't think could out smart him, "Oh no, Kaelin just wanted to know how well written it was and she said that she noticed a few gram-mat-tickle errors. But its fine she sorted them out."

"Grammatically errors?" Jeremiah frowned, "I wouldn't have thought that possible, not with all the hours I've studied. May I see it again? I'm sure I could..."

"Nah, no worries," Thorian waved a hand, "As I said its alright, Kaelin sorted it out. She said something about your spelling being something like three hundred years out of date as well."

"Three hundred years out of date?" Jeremiah spluttered.

"Yeah, guess reading all those old books means you didn't see that the way things are scribbled down has changed in the last little while," Thorian grinned and slapped Jeremiah on the back, causing him to stumbled, "Might want to get your hands on some new books some time soon."

Jeremiah blustered and spluttered as Thorian wandered away to their cabins, whistling a jaunty tune. Jeremiah's mood didn't improve that much that night either, his dreams haunted by the deep and resonant thrum of a cello, echoing in the shadows.

"Alright, alright," he grumped in his dream, "I'm getting to it. Last thing I need is an impatient ghost." He rolled over and the notes of the cello faded letting him dive deeper into sleep, but they hoovered, just below the edge of hearing. Jeremiah snorted in his sleep but stayed aware that he was still being watched, even as he slept.

Monday 5 February 2024

Draconic Shennanigans Episode 11

Chapter 11: Journeys in the Dark

Kaelin fished the locket out of her collar. It was definitely knocking in her grasp. She looked round to double check that she was well sheltered by the flying buttresses of the cathedral and then flicked the locket's catch open.

Charlotte's face peered out of the locket at her and then visibly relaxed.

"Well I don't think we have to worry about testing the magic link continually," she reported, "I've detected no issues on this side of the canvas and the others are reporting no ill affects at the Wizard's Tower. So far we've been able to shift to and from the locket's portal without damage."

"Well that is good news," Kaelin said, raising an eyebrow. If all the news had been good then why had Charlotte been looking so wound up when she had opened the locket?

"Where are you?" Charlotte asked with an intensity that was unusual in a noble.

"South side of the cathedral of Lotton," Kaelin reported, glancing round the edge of the buttress to her right. A squad of guard were jogging across the square, heading towards the noble quarter of town. Charlotte frowned.

"This makes no sense," she admitted.

"That I'm in a city? Or that I'm near a holy building and I haven't burst into flames?" Kaelin's tone was wry.

"No, not that," Charlotte was impatient, "Don't ask me how it just worked but the reason I came back to the locket after speaking to the others back at the Tower is that for a moment there I could have sworn that you were close to my cousin."

Kaelin felt her mouth go dry.

"You are sure of that?" she managed to work up the saliva to be able to speak normally.

"Absolutely," Charlotte said, "I don't know who you were walking past but I felt that you were close to my cousin."

"Not walking by," Kaelin admitted, "Flying over."

"I beg your pardon?" Charlotte demanded.

"No time to explain," Kaelin cut her off, snapping the locket shut as another squad of Guard swung out of an alleyway near her and jogged towards the rich quarter. The moment they were gone, Kaelin dashed across the cobble stones to the bottom of the building nearest the cathedral. Within seconds she was back up on top of the roof tiles. Instantly she froze. Beneath her she heard the sleepy mumbles of a family in the attic just below the slates. Someone mumbled in their sleep, smacked their lips, rolled over and then added their snores to the others around them. Kaelin relaxed and breathed deep getting a feel for the night around her. Summoning skills she'd thought she'd dumped in the woods of her childhood, she ghosted up to the apex of the roof and gazed out on to the slate jungle that was the poor quarter. Within moments she had chosen her route and was moving, running cat footed over the roofs. Well, the mountain lion was one of the few creatures that could best a wolf after all. She grinned at the thought and hoped her grandsire was turning in his grave and if he wasn't in his grave, then she hoped she'd just given him belly ache.

*

Ulrich rode his lizard up on to the water front and looked round at the bright lights of the taverns and breathed deep of the pungent bouquet of the area. It was still odd to look at a scene that could have been the water front of any big port city but not detect any salt tang on the breeze. Ulrich found himself grinning any way. Right now, life was good. He had a mount fit for a king, he'd gained more friends among the little people and he was confident that the others were no were near here. Turning his lizard's head north, he rode along the promenade towards his waiting ship, smiling and nodding at the sullen looks he was getting. Oh there was belligerence on the breeze and if he'd been on foot he would not have been nearly so confident as he was now but riding something so exotic and having that blue eyed drake pad along behind as body guard did wonders for keeping the cut throats and thugs at bay. Granted some of the scowls he received could have been from fear but he wasn't about to stay and chat. Besides most of the darkest looks were coming from the knots of sailors left at the end of the warfs to discourage meddling in the ships. As much as keeping stow a-ways out of the holds might be a very necessary job it did not endear the world to a man when he could see and hear the delights of food, drink and pleasurable company not far away but completely out of his reach. A man with that resentment in his heart is likely to look for any way to work it out and beating, how did Dippler word it? Beating a draw handle senseless was likely a way that had many things to advertise itself to these leave denied men. Therefore Ulrich with his mount and scaly body guard was not playing the game.

The other set of dark looks were coming from the doormen of the various 'establishments' along the water front. Granted their looks were more the flat unfriendliness with which they greeted the whole world and the wish to convey to him that his patronage would not be welcome with such company as he kept. Beyond that they seemed to consider him as above their pay grade to deal with. Ulrich smiled at them, touched his forehead and clapped his heels to the flanks of his lizard. Its claws rasped as it scuttled up the dock side.

*

Kaelin paused on the roof titles and breathed deep again. She'd had to swing fairly far south to find a gap she could leap to make it on to the roofs of the warehouse district but she had managed it and now she had a fairly straight run up to the ship. For a moment she considered descending and running it on the street but then her ears detected the howling. It was out to the west, beyond the city limits, she was sure of that but she could still hear the faint sound of the pack calling its own to regroup. She started to shiver but then suppressed it. Well if that was to come, that was to come but she'd be ready for it this time, one way or another she be ready for it. She had her own pack now and she needed to catch up with them. After all, if this was going to be her pack then it was up to her to provide one of the alphas.

She breathed deep again and picked up a scent on the breeze. Turning her face north she started jogging over the tiles, able to disregard some of her earlier caution as she highly doubted there would be anyone to disturb in these buildings and even if there was, it would do the night watchmen good to have something to catch their interest and keep them awake.

*

Up in the loft space of the cathedral Thorian looked round. There were a lot of expensive looking chairs here and a lot of books. Rich people's place he decided and decided that he was also not going to touch the chairs. Chairs had a habit of breaking round him and he didn't want any more trouble than he already had in his life. The books however, the books could be... useful. He picked two up. They were a good size to fit into the hand but they were thick. He glanced over at Jeremiah who was flicking through one of them. The paper looked to be almost tissue thin but Thorian guessed that so many pages of it added up because they were good and heavy within his grasp. He gave Jeremiah a sharp jab with an elbow and then jerked his head at the stairs that lead even further down. Jeremiah huffed but didn't say anything, moving as silently as he could behind the big orc crossbreed.

Thorian lead the way down the spiral staircase, listening intently. Behind him Jeremiah stumbled on the stone steps and bit off a curse word.

"Hello?" a voice called. Thorian heard footsteps pace across the stone floor again. Shooting a glare at Jeremiah to make the fat man stay put, Thorian eased himself down the spiral staircase, hefting a book in his hand. Staying just round the curve of the stairs he waited, listening to the footsteps coming close to the entrance. The footsteps stopped; Thorian hefted one of the books high, muscles tense. The footsteps turned and walked back up the church. Thorian released a long slow breath of relief. He'd never met the young man with the lamp but with what he'd seen of his argument with the old guy Thorian liked him already and he knew he would have felt bad about knocking him on the head, even if it was only with a book. Thorian turned his head and frowned at Jeremiah as the priest came waddling down the steps without being told the coast was clear.

Turning back to the entrance Thorian eased his head out for a look. The entrance to the steps was in the back of a pillar so it faced the back wall of the cathedral. Thorian eased round the pillar and looked up the church. He could see no one in the long straight space of the nave, though a shift of the shadows did lead him to believe that the young man with the lamp was in one of the side spaces.

"He's in the north transept," Jeremiah hissed, leaning out from the pillar, ready to duck back out of sight.

Thorian pushed his chin out and nodded as he digested the fancy word, then he turned and walked towards the door. Though his feet were quiet, he didn't walk with an excess of caution.

"What are you doing?" Jeremiah looked like he was going to have a heart attack on the spot as he shuffled after Thorian, glancing round the church with the wide eyes of one who expects the mob with the extra pitch forks option to jump out on him at any moment.

"I'm leaving the church," Thorian murmured, "I came in to see the place, now I'm leaving. There's naught wrong with that so they won't be upset."

"Not upset?" Jeremiah gasped.

"Of course not," Thorian grinned, "Perhaps you should have more faith." Jeremiah gaped as he realized that Thorian had made a successful dig at him. Thorian grinned back, reached for the door handle and then remembered that both his hands were full of books. He turned, walked back into the church, Jeremiah looking like he was going to faint on the spot, laid the books down on a pew, walked back to the doors, opened them and stepped outside. He stepped out on to the little plaza area on the top of the cathedral steps and breathed deep of the night air. Behind him Jeremiah caught the door, slipped through and eased the door shut so that it made the smallest sounding thud, barely enough to disturb the air inside the cathedral.

"Right," Thorian said, "Back to the ship." Without hesitating he turned and set off towards the docks, his long legs eating up the distance and making Jeremiah scamper to keep up.

"Do we have to go so fast?" Jeremiah protested, panting as he tried to keep within Thorian's shadow.

"Lots of unfriendly faces round here," Thorian stated, "Maybe if Calypso was still with us, we wouldn't have to go so fast to keep out of trouble." Jeremiah rolled his eyes. Really the dumb crossbreed was being entirely too unreasonable about the whole pet situation.

*

Ulrich rode up the wharf towards the Armored Dragon with a smile on his face. The Captain sat on his barrel as if he hadn't left, only the pile of shavings round his feet and the nearly complete wooden bird in his grip denoting the amount of time that had passed. The Captain looked round at the sound of footsteps and raised his great curly eyebrows at the sight that greeted him.

"It appears that you have had some adventures, mon amei," he exclaimed, "Am I a-right in believing you met up with my old friend?"

"That we did," Ulrich smiled as he drew the lizard to a stop, "He sends his regards but he couldn't come himself. He has some rather pressing problems at home, so to speak, but he understands the need to get rid of this Kraken in the lake and has sent us loaded down with equipment for the job." He patted the boxes that contained the lanterns where they hung in his saddle bags.

The Captain raised his eyebrows again.

"So it is a Kraken in our little lake?" he observed, "I did suspect that it was so but I didn't want to believe such an unnatural thing was possible. Still if the Master Smith says that it is so I would not be the one to gainsay him. Thinking on such matters, where are your companions? Or was the trouble my old friend has at home really that lethal?" The tension built round his eyes as he obviously jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"No, no," Ulrich laughed, waving a reassuring hand, "We just became separated on our way back into the city. Of course I managed to choose the most efficient route so I'm back first. I'm sure the others will be along in good time. What say you to sharing..."

"A drink?" Kaelin's voice interrupted as she rappelled down a rope, jerking to a stop, upside down, just behind Ulrich's shoulder, "I'd love one. It is thirsty work, all this waiting around for you to turn up. I'd nearly dozed off up there in the crow's nest while you took your time."

"Well, is hardly surprising that I was a little behind you," Ulrich said nonchalantly, trying to disguise just how hard his heart had slammed up against its containing ribs at the sound of her voice, "After all I have been carrying you all on my back for the last few days, I am beginning to feel a little tired."

"And just who was it who fought those spiders so hard that he passed out afterwards?" Kaelin asked, flipping herself up the right way and plucking something off of Ulrich's shoulder, "Let's see, chair lint, instrument dust and oh yes, cake crumbs. Sorry and all that but I don't see a trace of forest floor mud in all of that lot."

"Some of us bath on a regular basis and remember to laundry our clothes," Ulrich observed.

The Captain laughed before they could argue any further.

"Well it seems that your trials are forging a strong bound between you," he laid a brown hand on a shoulder of each of them, "Only true friends can argue so much and still be friends but let us not test the bound so hard just yet. What say you to settling your little critters in the hold and then sharing of a drink while you tell me all about your adventures in the Dead Swamp? I take it that what you feared so very much did not happen while your were visiting my old friend?" The last was addressed to Kaelin directly and she shrugged.

"That remains to be see," she replied, "But I am now more prepared for it than I was." She patted Haggis with a found hand.

"Well that is a most unusual instrument than I have seen in many a day," the Captain observed as he turned towards the gang plank.

"You wait until you hear it," Ulrich's tone was wry.

"Hello mister green dragon , are your eyes open tonight?" Kaelin asked, butchering the common saying about jealousy being a green eyed dragon. The Captain laughed again and then a high, haunting cry echoed across the lake, part whistle, part trumpet call, the weird dissonance immediately catching the attention. The Captain turned with a smile as a truly enormous bird drifted into view through the night gloom. Its wings seemed to fill the entire sky with a white glow. The Captain stepped back off the gang plank as it swooped down towards the end of the jetty. Then its wings were flipping in an odd backwards stroke as its huge webbed feet lowered and it dropped the last foot through the air to plop on to the planks with a less graceful landing than many birds Kaelin had seen. Somehow that didn't matter, the breath stolen by the spectacle of its wings that seemed to stretch on for ever, then slowly, turn by turn, fold by fold those stunning wings pleated down and down again, finally flipping flat to its back. With that whistling cry, it fluttered its tail and padded forward, stepping up to the Captain. It stretched its neck up, and not far, to preen at the Captain's beard, a cackling noise rising from it as the Captain gently nibbed his fingers through the bird's feathers at the back of its head.

"My friends," he said, once he and the bird had finished greeting one another, "May I introduce Risk? He has been my companion as we sailed many a day over deep water and he has save my life and my ship many a time."

Risk turned deep, dark eyes on Kaelin and she felt that she could fall forever into those pools of shadow but it was not a scary feeling. There was a wisdom and a strength in this bird, the air that it had seen more than most would see in their entire lives and he accepted Kaelin just as she was, without doubt or reservation. She inclined her head to him.

"A truly magnificent animal," Ulrich complimented but Risk's eyes told him that the bird knew that Ulrich wasn't being fully honest and that unnerved him even more. Whether his mount picked up on a shift in Ulrich's weight or it had its own feeling about the creature in front of it, the lizard flicked out its tongue in a long slow.... the tongue whipped back into the lizard's mouth as Risk's beak clacked shut a hair breath from having it off. Bird and lizard stared at each other a moment longer and then the lizard took a measured pace back. Ulrich stared at the back of his mount's head but the Captain laughed again.

"You will find that Risk is also a good judge of character," he observed, "And he knows more of what you intend than you will give him credit for. I think it has not been the first time he has helped me nip a mutiny in the bud before the rot could even begin to think of spreading."

"Probably a good thing that most sailors think it is ill fate to harm such a bird then," Ulrich observed as Risk turned and lead the way up the gangplank, the Captain following his companion.

"I did not expect a landbound man to know that respect," the Captain gave Ulrich a surprised glance. "I can see that a sailing with the King's Special is likely to be many things but it shall not be boring."

"Always glad to oblige," Ulrich replied with a cocky grin as he guided his lizard on to the gang plank behind Kaelin, the drake padding on behind him.

The Captain laughed again and then called to his crew.

"Lads, rearrange the cargo, we have some live ones to shift."

*

 Much to Jeremiah's surprise they did make it to the docks without any incidences of an unpleasant nature, which was strange considering there were definitely fewer Guardsmen on patrol than he'd expected. Still the waterfront toughs they had passed seemed to be more concerned with staying close to the doors of the warehouses they were guarding and most of the rest of the crowd of sailors on shore leave seemed to be crammed into the taverns.

"You see," Thorian breathed deep and smiled, "I told you we had nothing to worry about if we walked fast enough."

Jeremiah gritted his teeth and gripped the stitch in his side. He was going to make someone pay for this night's indignities. He didn't know who yet but someone was going to pay for tonight. Thorian turned and strode off up the water front to the north, forcing Jeremiah to straighten and scurry off after him with narrowed, angry eyes.

"Well bloody stinking Pits!" someone shouted, "It's the King's Special! I thought you people had all died, you crazy fools!" Thorian stopped and turned his head towards the voice. Standing at the end of a jetty was a sailor, fists on his waist, leaning forward as if he didn't believe what his eyes were telling him. Thorian frowned and scratched his head a moment and then the penny dropped.

"I know you!" Thorian beamed, "Yah told us 'bout the Armored Dragon. How's you doing?"

"Bored out of my head until I saw you," the sailor took the hand Thorian held out and shook it, "We all thought you'd either died or you'd packed up and left since the Dragon hadn't shifted from her berth."

"Nah," Thorian shook his head, "We're all still about, just had to go and fetch some stuff from the Dead Swamp for the trip."

"The Dead Swamp! You don't say!" the sailor seemed stunned, "You've been in that place? I thought anyone who went in there became some sort of puppet for the Wizard who lives in there!"

"Nah," Thorian shook his head again, "That was the old dud who was in there. Elisha is a good sport and the damned souls are alright once you get used to them."

"Elisha? Damned souls?" the sailor shook his head, frowning and yet wide eyed at the same time.

"Yeah, my friend Elisha," Thorian grinned, "He's a good old cove and he's offered my people a home! Says he wants our loyal-tee beside him and I like Crowface, his dep-u-tee."

"Crowface is?" the sailor asked.

"Head of the damned souls," Thorian grinned, "He's strong and brave and true. He wants me there too. Its nice to have a home to go back to."

"Yeash," the sailor shook his head in admiration, "You must be one tough cove, me hearty, if you can walk into the den of monsters and call it home."

"I guess it depends you what you call a monster," Jeremiah puffed, "I would guess that goblins probably scare their children to bed with tales of the nasty human mens who will come and chop them up if they don't do as they are told."

The sailor stared and then laughed.

"Well you've been good to break up the evening my hearties," he leaned on a barrel, "It was getting quite boring round here after all the excitement of earlier."

"Why aren't you off with your friends?" Thorian asked.

"Drew the short straw to guard the ship," the sailor turned his head and spat chewing tobacco into the harbor, "More than my life's worth to wander off from my post but there are times when I wish a bunch of werewolves would come down here and kick over the traces. It would be something to liven up the evening." 

"Werewolves?" Jeremiah asked, with a semblance of his usual smile, "Is that what the fuss you mentioned earlier was all about?"

"Yeah," the sailor grinned, "Apparently a gang of them gatecrashed some big party the knobs were having up in one of their fancy palaces. Don't know whether any of them were bit but it will be fun to see if they admit it."

"I suppose that they will have to, what with the risks the victims will pose come the next full moon," Jeremiah smiled oily, "After all, it is a matter of public safety..."

"Yeah right!" the sailor interrupted, "You ever see a knob risk his own hide? Oh no, if they'd attacked in the rookeries then the knobs would have all been for burning them out with fire, fire and worse. Cause its some of their own, they'll keep it quiet and the bitten will be shuffled off to some big house in the country were they'll be kept locked up until they die. No stain on the family honor that way. Ha, honor. Yeah right." He spat again into the harbor.

"Aren't you worried about being bitten yourself if the hairy burgers turn up here?" Thorian asked, a little bemused. How could someone be put off by his friends among the damned souls and yet not be afraid of werewolves?

"Have you ever heard of a werewolf sailor?" the sailor grinned, "Nah, I don't think they will turn up here. They don't seem to like the taste of sailors."

"Perhaps they are afraid of getting wet," Jeremiah observed with a smile. The sailor stared for a moment and then guffawed so loud that some of the more sober ones outside the alehouses turned their heads to stare.

"That's brilliant that is," he slapped Jeremiah on the back so hard the priest stumbled, "I never thought of it but dogs are always afraid of having a bath!"

"Go on!" someone called from the crowd outside the nearest alehouse, "What's the joke?"

"My friend here just suggested that if those werewolves coming down here we should just yeet them all into the harbor and see how they'd like to have a bath!" the sailor called back. After a moment a ragged cheer grew from the crowd, swelled into a roar and then dissolved into ever more lively partying.

"Well I'd love to hang around and add to the evening's fun," Jeremiah's smile had become a little fixed, "But we really have to crack on and make it to our ship. After all, we were supposed to be racing the others there and I think we have given them enough of a head start."

"The others?" the sailor asked, "Did the fancy looking fellow picked up a giant lizard on your travels recently? Has he taken to riding the darn thing about?"

"Yeah, that's Ulrich," Thorian grinned.

"I think you lost your race then," the sailor grimaced in sympathy, "The guy who's watch I took over said he'd seen a toff riding a big aft lizard up the water front like he owned the place. I thought the description sounded like your friend but I didn't believe it."

"Ah rats," Thorian exclaimed.

"Oh well, my green friend," Jeremiah laid a consoling hand on Thorian's arm, "These things are sent to try us."

"Aye," Thorian looked down on his hand with a flat expression in his eyes, "And you try laying a finger on me again, I'll break yah wrist." Jeremiah withdrew his hand hastily.

"I'd love to stay and chat," Thorian turned back to the sailor, "But it seems that we have to get along."

"Time and tide wait for no one, my friend," the sailor shrugged, "When you get back from giving that thing in the lake a right good kicking we'll have to go for a drink while you tell me the yarn."

"I'd love to tell the tale but no drinking," Thorian said empathically.

"Oh why?" the sailor asked, cocking his head sideways.

"I don't do well with drink," Thorian shook his head, "The last time I drank something that someone else handed me I woke up with an invisible, giant space dragon stomping on mah head. I'm not drinking anything else someone hands me ever again."

"We'll have to try the Battered Bugle then," the sailor grinned, "The barman there has this stuff he makes out of ginger root and these tiny little peppers that will take the lining off yah throat and burn yah tongue off at the roots but it sobers a man up like nothing else. I've known him serve it to sea dogs who were as drunk as lords and they came out of there stone cold sober. Some of the guys go there without needing any fire water in their veins first. They take it as a challenge to see who can drink the most before their bellies are full of bonfires but it doesn't put yah head on the anvil the following day. Yah can drink that stuff until you think you are going to spit fire like a dragon and be as sober as a judge the following day."

"Now that sounds cool," Thorian grinned, "That I'd like to try."

"We'll drink the place dry when we get back," the sailor promised with a grin as they turned away to carry on down the water front.

Ulrich had just come back up on deck when he spied Jeremiah and Thorian coming up the water front. He quickly ducked down behind the rigging, where he could peak through one of the big bull's eye of the rigging and see the bottom of the gangplank. As he watched the pair make their way out on to the warf he grinned with a sudden idea.

Thorian had been distracted by the sight of a truly enormous bird sitting on the rail of the poop deck, watching them with dark, interested eyes and as such he had stopped walking for a moment.

"That is not something you see every day of the week," Thorian said quietly. Jeremiah completely ignored the comment and pushed passed to the bottom of the gangplank. He was about to put his foot on it when a voice rang out from the ship.

"Oi, what do you think you are doing? Trying to board this ship without permission! We ought to keelhaul you were you stand for trying it!"

On board ship, Kaelin frowned as she looked round at where Ulrich was kneeling but he waved a hand at her to keep down. She rolled her eyes but did as asked.

"I am most incredibly sorry," Jeremiah bowed slightly to the ship, eyes scanning along the railing, trying to spot his challenger, "Forgive my rudeness, we merely wished to join our friends on board."

"And who said you have any friends on board this ship," the voice answered back, "Now be off with you."

Jeremiah frowned. He couldn't quite place the accent or the voice, it almost sounded like someone was throwing his voice. Thorian had stopped again some paces behind Jeremiah and now he was watching the show with increasing glee. The fat man hadn't seemed to recognize the voice of their friend and now, well now...

"That is most strange," Jeremiah frowned, "We were assured that our friends had already reached our ship and boarded."

"Who said that?" the voice demanded, "How would I know one of your friends if they came up to me and spat in my face? How would anyone else know it was one of your friends, if you have any of those that is?"

Thorian  folded his arms and slowly pushed a knuckle into his mouth to stop himself from exploding with laughter as Jeremiah fumbled and bumbled through the conversation, still desperately scanning the gunwale, trying to see who it was who was being so obtuse.

"I am fairly sure that you would recognize our friends," Jeremiah's smile had become the fixed grimace that meant his ability to oil himself through any social situation was beginning to fail, "One of them is a rather uptight young woman who threatens to break all your fingers with a look if you lay your hands on her. The other is a rather inflated young man who fancies himself as a lord and ha taken to riding an over sized lizard that he did nothing to earn."

"He's not entirely wrong with that description you know," Kaelin whispered to Ulrich, having accepted Jeremiah's description of herself as a compliment.

"Who's side are you on?" Ulrich demanded in a hiss.

"Who said I'd join either side?" Kaelin asked, "I'm just here for the fun."

"Look if I meet anyone of that description I'll let you know," Ulrich called out load, "Now push off and try and find some friends else were."

"Look," Jeremiah snapped, "Is this ship The Armored Dragon or isn't it?"

"No, this here ship is not the Armored Dragon so push off!" the reply came back.

Jeremiah drew himself up and inflated. Kaelin could almost swear she heard his ribs creak, then he turned on his heel and stalked up the jetty to the bow of the ship and had a long look at the figure head. He stomped back down the boards so hard that they seemed to rattle against their pegs.

"I suggest, friend," he ground out the last word like an insult, "That you learn to tell lies that aren't so easy to disprove because if that figure head isn't an armored dragon then one of us is the Soaring Arman."

"Ah but you said you where looking for The Armored Dragon," Ulrich somehow managed to keep his smile out of his voice as he replied but lordy it was difficult when even Kaelin was fighting to keep a straight face. Thorian looked just about ready to burst. "This ship is just Armor Dragon, not The Armored Dragon. The ship you are looking for is about two berths south. Just run along and stop being a bother, now there's a good chap."

Jeremiah narrowed his eyes. The voice might be different but that last phrase... someone's caricature was slipping. Very stiffly he turned and made his way back down the jetty. After a moment Thorian managed to follow him but behind Jeremiah's back he was wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. He winced and put a hand to his side. He just might have snapped a rib with the effort to not laugh out loud.

Jeremiah strode down the water front for a couple of berths and then approached the sailors standing guard at the end of the wharfs.

"Good evening my good sirs," Jeremiah bowed slightly from the waist, making Hat clatter for a moment, "I was wondering if you could help me."

"Depends," one of the sailors managed to drag his eyes away from the oversized moth riding on Jeremiah's miter.

"I'm looking for The Armored Dragon as I need to charter her for a journey and I was wondering if you'd be able to point me in the right direction to her," Jeremiah oiled. The sailor looked at him as if he was dumb.

"Yah just came from her berth," he said, "You got trouble with yah eyes or something?"

"No, I see quite well," Jeremiah's smile became a fixed grimace, "But tell me, is there another Armored Dragon in these parts?"

"Nah, there's only one Armored Dragon in these parts or any other," the sailor stated, "And you must be on some right crazy trip if you want to charter her to go out on the lake right now. Haven't you heard about what is going on out there?"

"Oh rest assured that I have heard in detail what is going on out on the lake at the moment," Jeremiah's smile became a little less fixed as the other sailors stared at him with awe, "Which is precisely why I need to charter the Armored Dragon to take me out on the lake. Now would you confirm where I might find her?"

"Last berth that way," the sailor pointed, something like fear in his eyes.

"So glad to speak with you," Jeremiah's smile was close to genuine as he lifted his hand in the symbol of blessing over the gathered sailors. Now that was gratifying. What was not gratifying was turning round and seeing Thorian's smirking face behind him. The brainless dolt had been in on the joke! Jeremiah's wrath swelled as he stalked up the water front. Someone was going to hurt for this nights humiliations.

"Uh oh," Ulrich observed from where he was keeping an eye on the wharf's end, "Here comes trouble."

"Just how bad?" Kaelin inquired without turning from where she was paring her nails with a sharp knife under the light of a lantern.

"Let's put it this way," Ulrich observed as he stood and straightened his clothes, "I think the only way this could become any worse is if Hartseer turns up unannounced."

"Your fault," Kaelin observed, blowing on her nails.

Jeremiah, well he probably thought that he billowed but it was more a case of he ballooned up the jetty to the base of the gang plank.

"Permission to come abroad?" he put every ounce of the voice that used to be able to project itself clean down the nave of the Abbey behind the shout. Kaelin winced and wiggled a finger in her ear. They had probably heard that back at the Inn of the Pointy Hat, if not in the capital itself.

"Permission granted," Ulrich stepped up to the railing near the prow, all smiles, "What kept you?"

Jeremiah glared at him with narrowed eyes as he stamped on to the gang plank. It flexed most alarmingly and Jeremiah stumbled to a stop. He froze with his arms out spread until it stopped its undulations. With a deep and careful breath he straightened and stepped slowly up the gang plank.

"One of the sailors seems to enjoy playing pathetic jokes on prospective passengers," he stated as he stepped out on to the deck.

"Oh, how inconsiderate of your position," Ulrich observed. Kaelin snorted and cleared her throat. Jeremiah looked at her and then looked at Ulrich again, ignoring the noise of Thorian making his way on to the deck.

"You wouldn't happen know who it was who was trying to deny me my passage on this ship?" Jeremiah asked Ulrich politely.

"Sorry old boy, I was down below, helping to settle my mount and your drake in the cargo hold," Ulrich shook his head, "Neither of them seemed that happy with being shut up down there, though I have to see my lizard was more obedient about the whole thing. Could have done with you here sooner."

"Indeed," Jeremiah's eyes were narrowed to slits as he watched Ulrich's posturing, mind busy with lining up speech patterns and mannerisms. Before it could become any more tense, the Captain stepped out on board deck.

"Well mon amei," he stepped forward with a smile to shake Jeremiah's hand, "We were beginning to wonder if you had decided that it would be safer to walk to our destination. What delayed you so very long?"

"One of your sailors has a rather perverse sense of humor," Jeremiah said coldly, "They appear to enjoy playing tricks on prospective passengers."

The Captain laughed and shook his head.

"Oh my apologies mon amei," he smiled, "My crew has become some what unruly with all this enforced sitting about in port. I am surprised that there haven't been worse problems than I have had already. I am sure that once we are back out on the deep water they will settle down and stop all of these silly tricks. If nothing else I will make sure that they are kept too busy with their duties to be a bothering you."

"As long as that is true," Jeremiah huffed.

"It will be," the Captain smiled, "Though it is a good thing that we are not slaves to time and tide on this fair lake as it seems that many of my crew will be feeling more than a little delicate at sunrise tomorrow."

"Why would that be?" Thorian asked.

"What is there for a man to do in port if he has not the brains to keep himself busy with a little job?" the Captain smiled and held up the carving of the bird he had apparently been working on since they first met him. Kaelin looked from it to where Risk sat on the gunwale of the poop deck. The big bird saw her looking and opened his beck in a haunting cry in answer to her regard.

"I am afraid that most of my crew will have heads the size of whales tomorrow morning and will not be up to working as hard as they should do," the Captain admitted.

"Won't that make them all fall over, if their heads have grown that big?" Thorian asked. The Captain frowned at him and then laughed again.

"Their heads will still be the same size as always but they will feel like they have grown enormous on the ends of their necks," he explained.

Thorian thought about it.

"Oh," he said at last, "It will be like me this morning when I had that giant invisible space dragon stomping on my head. That makes sense. Why do people drink like that, it just makes you hurt?"

"Perhaps because they do not have the brains to consider that there may be a better way of spending their time," the Captain answered, "Or perhaps they think that the fun they have out weighs the pain they later receive. Or perhaps because one drink changes them from people who don't drink a lot into people who do. Who can fathom the minds of a drunk?"

"I sure can't," Thorian agreed.

"So saying," the Captain observed, "If you do not have a berth in the town, would you like to sleep on board ship? If nothing else we will be ready then once my bosun has managed to track down all of my crew and filled up any gaps that have opened up."

"Sure, why not," Kaelin shrugged, one ear twitching as she tried to double check that the howling had stopped. There further away she was from the center of the town the better. She dug for a moment in her memory and couldn't come up with one instance where her grandfather had mentioned anything to do will sailing or boats. That had always meant he had brushed off that detail of the world as not fitting with 'the Wild'. Always good as far as she was concerned.

"I am afraid that the cabins are double berthed so you will have to decide whom is sharing with who," the Captain admitted, "I would suggest that we let the lady choose to avoid future arguments."

Kaelin pursed her mouth for a moment and then pointed.

"Thorian," she stated, " 'Cause he's the one least likely to try anything funny."

"Oh, don't you like my jokes?" Thorian pouted.

"That wasn't the sort of funny business I was talking about," Kaelin observed.

"I think it is a fantastic idea," Jeremiah smiled oily but there was the flicker of something that promised charring in his eyes. Ulrich immediately sidled up to Thorian.

"Thorian old pal, I was the one that helped you out when Calypso left us," he wasn't as good at oiling as Jeremiah was.

"Yeah? You gave me that stuff that made my head hurt so badly this morning," Thorian folded his arms.

"Well, I wasn't to know it would take you that badly," Ulrich spread his hands, "I was just trying to help and I'm not the one who left you carrying all the boxes."

"That's true," Thorian noted and then he scowled, "Wait a minute? Are you trying to get me to swap places with you?"

"I do believe that is his intentions," Jeremiah smiled, "I have to admit that I didn't expect our gallant noble man to be so under handed as to..."

"Then you have no idea about what being a noble is about!" Ulrich snapped, "It is all underhanded, backstabbing scheming..."

"So you were trying to get me to swap with you!" Thorian scowled even darker, his knuckles cracking ominously.

"Just one more thing to think about, Thorian," Kaelin laid a calming hand on his arm, "Have I ever actually been mean to you?"

"No, no you haven't," Thorian relaxed as he thought about it, "And you did help me out when it all went weird at the haddey." He shot a look at Jeremiah.

"But..." Ulrich protested.

"My good friend," the Captain interrupted, "It is known wisdom in my homeland that one should not gainsay a lady's wishes."

"But..." Ulrich started again.

"The lady has spoken and you would find it best if you do not counter her wishes," the Captain stated, "Now I will show you to your quarters."

"But..." Ulrich tried for a third time but everyone was turning away from him.

"I'm not a lady," Kaelin muttered as she fell in at Thorian's shoulder.

"My dear, you are much more of a lady than many I have seen who bare more exulted titles," Jeremiah smiled and bowed slightly to her. 

"And your opinion matters to who?" Kaelin was blunt as always.

"Here we are," the Captain swung open the doors to the cabins below the Captain's cabin in the stern of the ship, "I hope that you will have a restful night."

"I know I will," Jeremiah grinned at Ulrich. Ulrich swallowed and closed his eyes. It seemed he'd got himself into the trouble that his father had always said he'd get himself into.

As it is he woke up the next morning without any pain or with any weird additions to his personage. He rolled over in the bunk to double check and then sat bolt upright. It appeared that a bunch of irate colonialists had held a tea party in his bed! Heaps and mounds of tea leaves lay piled around him in the bed sheets... and they were inside his shirt! With a cry he leapt out of bed, desperately trying to shake the scratching, itching particulars from his person. Then he thought about where all this tea had come from. He dived across the cabin to where his saddle rested against the wall, hands fumbling over the bags tied to it. He carefully pulled out the tea caddie and breathed with relief. No harm apparently done and when he flicked open the lid it was still as full of tea as it ever had been, then a particularly stubborn leaf gouged him in the crock of his elbow. With a grunted curse he put the tea caddie down, pulled off his shirt and turned it inside out, shaking it all the time while he did so.

Muttering words that would have definitely earned him a strapping from the butler at his father's instructions, he finally managed to be fairly sure that his clothes where free of small and annoying bits of tea. He sat down on the edge of the bunk and pulled one of his boots towards him. He stopped in the middle of lifting his foot, looked inside it and with a sigh, tipped it up on end, watching the stream of shortbread crumbs tumble out on to the floor in a little heap.

About an hour later, once he was finally and completely sure that all small, scratchy and annoying food particles had been removed from his clothes and that none of the items he had been given at the Wizard's Tower had been damaged, Ulrich stepped out on deck. He breathed in deep and then snapped his head round a very recognizable but unusual scent.

"Good morning," Jeremiah took a sip from the steaming cup he held, "I hope you slept well. I know I did."

"Where did you...?" Ulrich began.

"Oh I do apologize," Jeremiah smiled, "I accidentally knocked over some of your stuff this morning while I was getting dressed and this very interesting substance spilled out from a tin you seem to be carrying. I did my best to tidy it all up but I could help taking just a pinch to try."

"It could have been poison you know," Ulrich managed to be level, "It would have been safer and more polite if you had asked before helping yourself."

"My dear Ulrich," Jeremiah beamed, "Are you admitting to transporting highly dangerous and prohibited substances? I dare say our noble King's Sword would be most interested to hear about this." His look said that he would thoroughly enjoy getting Ulrich neck deep in a huge amount of bird guano with Hartseer and it would be all the better if it was on false pretenses.

"I admit to nothing of the sort," Ulrich stated, "I merely pointed out that it could have been a poison when you take something without the owners permission. I would hardly have thought that I needed to lecture a man of the cloth about polite manners."

"Well you were sleeping so peacefully that I really didn't want to disturb you," Jeremiah's smile could have greased a dozen lamps, "You did have a tiring night after all, losing the race to Kaelin like you did. Consideration for another's distress is part of the compassion that, as a man of the cloth, I am supposed to embody."

"You could have remembered that before you let Calypso die for the second time," Ulrich realized that he wasn't winning any points here.

"I did ask you to make sure that Thorian didn't find any distressing evidence when I realized that I had over exerted my powers," Jeremiah replied, "I was considerate that we would need to break the news to Thorian in a more gentle manner than you allowed when you failed to make good on the promise to tidy away the mess."

There wasn't really an answer Ulrich could think of to that.

"I'm going to go and get breakfast," he muttered, striding off to the hold.

"Just bare in mind we are supposed to be sailing this morning," Jeremiah called after him, "You wouldn't want to miss the boat. After all, if you did, our dear Hartseer might think you were trying to jump on your parole and I hear he gets really rather snippitty about such things. One could almost say he gets a little sharp about it."

"I could live with that," Ulrich muttered as he opened the gate to his lizard's temporary pen. It flowed up on to the deck like it was more than glad to be out of the hold already and Ulrich barely had time to swing himself up on to it bare back style before it was heading to the gang plank. Even so he still saw, out of the corner of his eye, Jeremiah draw a line in the air with a finger tip as if he was chalking up the score.