Tuesday, 13 May 2025

Draconnic Shenanigans - Episode 35

Chapter Thirty Five: We Have Worms!

 

(Bobbit Worm Photo by DreamOfShadows

Jenny - Flickr: "Aliens" movie star!)

 "I'm not hungry," Thorian grunted, "I've had enough of seeing things that ain't what they're supposed to be."

Jeremiah went to say something unkind and then stopped to think about it. He reached up, took hold of one of his antlers and tugged. The antler stayed most firmly attached to his head. He tugged again and winced as something in his skull stretched and ached. Whether he liked them or not, the antlers were here to stay by the looks of things.

"Maybe Thorian is right," he muttered as he dug through his pack, looking for something, "Maybe we should be wary of anything those... creatures gave us. Ugh, Kaelin, I don't suppose you picked up one of those little mirrors that were laying around in Myslynn's manor while we were there?"

"Why would I have picked up a mirror while we were at Myslynn's mansion?" Kaelin asked with a guarded expression, using her foot to hook her pack closer to her and further away from Jeremiah, tucking it further under her cot. Estella glanced at her but shrugged and went back to tending the pot of tea by the fire. She also seemed to be doing some form of breathing exercise, rhythmically drawing her hands towards her chest and then pushing them away. Quenril frowned at her and then looked at the cup of water she'd kept out of the pot. He wasn't entirely sure that the surface of it wasn't rippling in time with her motion.

 "Because you are a thief, my dear," Jeremiah smiled his not nice smile, "A thief, a petty criminal and a convict. You openly admitted to flogging silverware so need I add any more? Now do you or do you not have a mirror in that copious pack of yours?"

"If she's looking for her honor, she could try looking in her hair do," the bag of scolding chipped in, "I've never seen a more ragged rat's nest of a hair do, or perhaps its a hair don't!"

"I'd forgotten about you," Ulrich admitted, a little pained.

"Aye, along with your common sense and your dignity," the bag snapped back, "The lot of yer sounded like a bunch of hogs in a saw mill. Disgusted I was, having to hang about with you, drooling and lolling about like sacks of dirty washing. Don't you ever bathe?"

 "Well I wouldn't mind having a good soak right about now," Kaelin deep panned, her new wings rustling, "As long as I had a nice soft cushion to sit on in the water. I wonder where I could find such a nice soft cushion? Oh, it does appear that I'm looking at one." She stared at the bag of scolding.

"If I had a nose, I'd unplug it at you," the bag snarled but then it subsided, apparently unwilling to push its luck.

"Now that rude interruption has been dealt with," Jeremiah observed, "Are you going to give me that mirror you undoubtedly have in your bag?" His smile was still more fake that a president's promise.

Kaelin's hand shot out, palm up.

"I'm sorry," Jeremiah frowned, "I don't quite follow."

Kaelin's fingers clapped against her palm in the universal gesture of 'pay me, now'. She waited a beat and then clapped her fingers against her palm again. Jeremiah's expression became pained.

"I don't suppose there is any way you would consider doing it for the good of the team?" he suggested. Her expression of blank deadpan would have made a raven stop in admiration.

"You pointed out yourself, I flog silverware," she said, "Flogging silverware means that I get paid in return for it so..." Her fingers clapped on her palm again. "I'll settle for the standard rate." Jeremiah glowered but she remained unmoved. He gave a long suffering sigh and muttered about employees who weren't willing to take one for the team before fishing out his money bag and counting out five gold pieces. Kaelin made them disappear a lot faster than he had made them appear. She pulled her bag out from under the bed and flipped over the top flap. After a few seconds of pouring through the contents she paused.

"Doesn't look like there was any tampering in my bag," she admitted.

"I was just thinking the same," Ulrich admitted, "Seeing as I still have all my most valuable acquisitions."

"It is possible that those little creatures do not have much care for gold," Jeremiah observed, "I did not see any payment for goods or services going on in the establishment where we dined. It is possible that they are still too primitive for the understanding of currency so gold would have no meaning for them besides as a method of adornment. Undoubtedly they will eventually discover the proper flow of commerce."

"What? All the money from everybody else flowing up into the pockets of the rich and powerful?" Kaelin paused in her hunting and raised an eyebrow at him.

"I was thinking more of the proper funding of the great and good," Jeremiah ground out.

"That's what I said," Kaelin noted and went back to her pack digging, finally finding what she was looking for and handing it over to Jeremiah. He took the vanity mirror and started peering at the new growths on his head. On the other side of the cavern Sabal, with his eyes down cast, handed Tasnar a pair of soft black leather gloves, Tasnar being careful to not touch his cousin's fingers as he took them. Ulrich passed round the ever full tin of biscuits.

"Tea and a biscuit, or three, is better than no breakfast at all," he said, "I don't know about you chaps but despite the weirdness of the dreams... and their reality... and their weird reality, but I feel the most rested since we left the dwergs behind and I don't think we should waste that by avoiding breakfast simply because we are acting paranoid."

"He has a point," Estella nodded as she poured out the cups of tea, "No point in starting the day hungry, that is just going to lead to trouble down here." She handed out the cups.

They were part way through their drinks when the fire sank down in the pit and turned a sickly shade of purple.

"Uh oh," Thorian said and went to toss what was left of his tea away. A voice stayed his hand, or rather froze it.

Jeremiah was chanting, a deep, guttural sounding tongue that made the hairs on all their arms stand up straight and Kaelin's bones melt and reform into wolf, her snarling teeth chattering even as she tied to growl. Estella crabbed away from him on her butt, Valodrael's darkness filling both her eyes as the three Ash Elves flicked their fingers in signs meant to ward off evil.

Jeremiah's antlers twisted.

They became soft, flexible, bending like yellow hot metal on the anvil, curling inwards until the tips of the crowns touched together and fused, non-typical tines sprouting from the lower tine. The brow tines lengthened and took on a jagged look, whole the whole spiraled slightly, taking on a twisted aspect, becoming a cage for the sigil that flamed into being, hovering within the branch like enclosure of the warped antlers. It cast a sickly glow across the chamber, barred by the shadows of the antlers. Ulrich dropped his cup with a clang of tin on stone, turning his face away, fighting not to scream and run, weeping like a child.

It was there again!

That... that... that thing that was dragon and not dragon at the same time. That thing that defied reality and defiled sanity. Ulrich gripped the edge of the cot so hard his hands burned as he bit his lip, eyes squeezed shut but still somehow seeing that damn thing there. His guts bubbled and roiled, his tea fighting to either come up or go down, or maybe both at once.

Jeremiah stopped chanting. Ulrich cracked open one eye, looked at the sickly white glow that now shone from Jeremiah's gaze and screwed his eyelids shut again, fighting back the urge to whimper.

"Aye think aye leaked," Thorian admitted, "Just a little."

"You wouldn't be the only one," Estella admitted, what looked like black syrup trailing down her cheeks, her hands shaking.

"That made my skin crawl," Ulrich admitted, finally opening his eyes again, "No, that made it race for the door, screaming all the way."

"My dear friends," Jeremiah stood, eyes shining with a power that none of them wanted to name, "Why do you fear? After all the times I have demonstrated the holy power of the great god Klu'ga-nuth why do you falter and cower? Have I not shown how the One True God would protect you, if only you would serve him? Give unto him your love and obedience, bow down to him and worship him and he will provide all that you need."

"And do you you think that I haven't had that offer made before?" Kaelin snarled, face stuck half way between human and wolf, "The gods are baskets and I have been their play thing before. Never again!"

"But my dear Kaelin," Jeremiah smiled, "They were not true gods, they were but false idols, the graven images carved by the hands of men. Klu'ga-nuth is the one true god. He..."

"Will you stop saying that name!" Kaelin bellowed.

The chamber rang with silence as their eyes locked, struggling wordlessly for domination, the others watching them with bitten lips, frozen faces or fingers raised in gestures of warding. Estella fiddled with her necklace of emeralds.

Jeremiah narrowed his eyes and something twitched behind him, knocking the vanity mirror off the cot on to the floor with a noisy clatter. Jeremiah frowned and looked over his shoulder. He stared and then groped for the new thing. He turned, trying to catch it. He turned some more, hand clutching for it.

"Meow," Ulrich muttered, insinuating that Jeremiah looked like a cat chasing its own tail. Jeremiah ignored him as he finally managed to grab the thing waving around behind him. He tugged, viciously and grunted as the pain flared up his spine from his tail bone. A voice behind him sniggered.

"And you dare to judge my host for letting me ride crossbow," Valodrael grinned with Estella's mouth, "Well, it seems that you are becoming quite the dragon yourself."

Jeremiah turned, a thunderous expression on his face, the scaly tail, the end shaped like the head of an arrow, grasped firmly in his hand.

"I'd be careful," Valodrael still smiled, "Many more blessings from your god and I think that you might not be human at all any more."

That brought Jeremiah up short, the glare fading as his gaze turned inwards, one hand still holding the tail.

"Don't play with that or you'll go blind," Kaelin said, finally able to return to her full human form.

"What?" Jeremiah blustered, blinking. Estella sniggered, sniggered and blushed at the same time, but still sniggered as Valodrael faded out of dual control. Jeremiah glared at her but the effect was slightly ruined when an overly strong impulse made his new tail yank itself out of his hand and start switching back and forth behind him. Estella managed to control her impulse to laugh at him outright by turning away to make sure her satchel was properly repacked. She blinked as she saw that the lump of talisman wood she had started working on in her dream wash lying in there, the very roughest outline of its shape beginning to take shape. She looked at it and then looked at Kaelin, a small frown on her face. After a moment she nodded to herself, a silent decision made. The other talismans peeped at her but she held a finger up to her lips.

"Shush," she whispered, "I'll explain later."

Kaelin had already turned her back on everyone else and gone to the opening that seemed to form the door of the chamber they were in. In the corridor beyond their pets shuffled, Peter the centipede whistling around a mouthful of crab leg. Weatherall stood, the legs on that side of his body struggling to reach the floor as Peter kept the crabs weight off kilter. Kaelin didn't know whether to smile at the display of loyalty to Ulrich or be concerned about how well Ulrich had managed to tame the giant bug.

"That is not natural," she observed after a moment. She looked up and down the corridor and sniffed. There was something, a slight something on the air that suggested that she could possibly track the goturi back to their city but she didn't really see the point. Her wings rustled as she realized that she felt that she had been underground for too long, she needed the sky above her, preferably with a high moon and stars. She needed the smells and touch of nature around her again. She needed to be able to run in whatever direction she chose and she couldn't do that here, stuck under the earth.

"Your animals are out here," she reported over her shoulder as the others made their final preparations to move out.

"Of course, Kaelin should really join the pets," Jeremiah observed as he picked up his pack, "After all, quarters are for proper people."

"Speak for yourself, Scaly," Kaelin called back and then stepped out into the corridor, turning right, snapping a light stick as she went. Peter whistled again as he watched her go. Thorian went to check what the matter was as Peter continued to whistle and squeak.

"Hey what's up boy?" he asked and then saw Kaelin disappearing into the dark. "Hey, wait up," he called, hurrying after her.

"Well I'm not staying with the creepy girl," Jeremiah muttered as he marched out of the room, wings twitching and new tail switching behind him. Estella shrugged and made no comment as she followed, the purple toad settling on her shoulder and singing in her ear as the red cardinal settled on her hair and peeped, the other talismans running through the air around her.

Ulrich stepped outside and patted Peter on his carapace.

"Good boy," he congratulated, scratching round the base of Peter's antennae, "Well done for making sure he didn't wander off. Now do you think you could keep guard for us while we are on the move, make sure nothing is laying in wait ahead of us and nothing is creeping up behind?" Peter whistled as he released Weatherall's leg and waggled his antennae. He took off, scuttling over the roof of the tunnel, mandibles snipping quietly as he peered into every crack and crevice, determined to please Ulrich.

"Always better to have the service pleased with their work," Ulrich observed and swung up on to Weatherall's shell, crouching and taking hold of the crab's eye stalks before it could think of scuttling away. Weatherall smacked the tunnel floor with a claw and then began to march sideways, legs scrapping over the stone as Quenril and his kin fell in at the back of the group. Peter can surging back, checking the tunnel behind the group for anything following them before turning round and rippling back to where Kaelin was far ahead.

She did pause for a moment when she came to a crossroads of tunnel, sniffing the air and gazing for a long moment down each tunnel.

"This way," she stated as Thorian and Peter reached her, heading down the left hand way, not waiting for the others to catch them up but Jeremiah and the following Estella were not far behind any way. Estella was watching Nanny Tatters' fascination with her master's new tail, the undead Crone Dragon fixated on the twitches and waves of her controller's new appendage, her single black threaded eye blinking sideways as she watched and walked, head swaying to keep track of the arrow shaped tip.

"Val!" Estella suddenly hissed, turning her face away and covering her mouth as the Void Dragon made certain comments about the relationship between master and servant.

"What?" Valodrael asked, "I was only observing that our interesting friend seems to know more about tactics than a novice in a nunnery."

"And I now know what that means!" Estella noted, blushing furiously. Jeremiah glanced back and Estella tried for a straight face as she looked back but her skin still felt like it was on fire.

Behind them, Ulrich started whistling Rule Portasia, Portasia Rules The Waves. Kaelin stopped then, glaring back at the noble as he rode up on the back of his giant crab, his centipede pet swirling over the rocks over head. Ulrich's eyes twinkled at her as he continued to whistle. Kaelin opened her mouth then shut it again and turned away, continuing to stomp down the tunnel, Ulrich's whistling still ringing in her ears as they pushed on into the dark, counter pointed by Marmaduke's clanging footsteps. The automation was many things, quiet was not one of them.

Thorian frowned, feeling the tension rolling of Kaelin's shoulder's and he was about to ask her what the matter was when Kaelin tipped her head back and started singing.

"When Portasia first did mar the land,A horrible noise from out the band stand,A horrible noise from out the band stand,This was the farter, the farter of the land,And fleeing Angels sang this strain:
 
Rue, Portasia! Portasia, runs away!Portasia never, never, never wins the day.
 
Rue, Portasia! Portasia, runs away!Portasia never, never, never wins the day."
 

 It was Ulrich's turn to glare as Kaelin continued to make up verse on the fly, each one more and more rude and unflattering as she went alone, her voice warbling off key just enough to make it obvious that she was doing so deliberately as she handed Thorian the light stick.  He began whistling louder trying to drown her out. Kaelin raised her voice even higher, making him merely the accompanying music to her mockery of the national anthem. He started sing the true and beautiful lyrics, the proper music to stir the soul and fire the blood.

Kaelin responded with the bagpipes. For a moment Ulrich thought, thought that it was the better option, if nothing else, while her mouth was full of the blow stick she could sing those disrespectful verses. Granted there was the risk that the noise would bring in trouble but trouble was what the King's Special dealt with and there was just as much chance the skirling of the pipes would scare everything in a five mile radius away. He had just started to relax and nod along with the music when...

Kaelin played a note half an octave to high.

Ulrich blinked.

The music continued without and hitch and he was just beginning to believe that he had imagined the whole thing when...

She played a note quarter of an octave too low.

Ulrich flinched. The music continued, picking up the pace and Kaelin walked in time to her tune, making everybody else keep up with her. Ulrich shrugged. Maybe it had been an honest mistake, after all it wasn't like that she had heard the... 

She added a note that made it sound like the pipes where pfffting. Ulrich flinched and glared at her. Kaelin looked over her shoulder at him and the sparkle in her eyes let him know that she knew exactly what she was doing. She continued marching and playing, Thorian and Estella looking back and trying not to smirk at Ulrich. Ulrich leaned over and whispered something to Weatherall and then straightened up and took both hands off the crab's eye stalks. He swung his pack round in front of him and started digging through it.

Kaelin was coming towards the end of the tune and was building up to the grand finale, still dropping notes here, there and every where. She took a deep breath and...

The grating, nerve shredding whine and squeak of that accursed tin whistle scrapped its claws over her ear drums, making them want to curl up and run away! Kaelin's eyes crossed and her nose watered, Haggis squealing and grinding, totally off key.

Ulrich continued playing as the King's Special filed through a narrow gap in the stone, his eyes twinkling this time as he couldn't smile while playing the tin whistle. Kaelin's eyes turned yellow as the wolf bubbled under the surface but she managed to reign it in, forcing it to channel through a different release. Haggis thundered so hard the echo made Kaelin's ears ring and Estella clapped her hands to her head, the talismans diving for the safety of her satchel as the stones around them rang. The whole of the King's Special came to a stop, wide eyed and frozen.

Silence reigned.

As the last of the vibrations faded away, Peter whistled a very quiet whine.

"We done here?" Ulrich asked after a moment.

"Yeah," Kaelin agreed, "Yeah, I think we are." She let Haggis fall to her side and the set of bagpipes hissed quietly, almost apologetically.

They moved on, pushing into the dark, not speaking, the stone around them still humming quietly to itself with the final echoes of their sound battle.

They came to a fork in the road and without asking Kaelin continued straight on, going 'up' as far as she could tell. Thorian frowned, feeling that he really ought to have at least one say in which way they were going. He sniffed. Something, something like bad eggs wafted on the air currents and the air felt as if it was getting warmer. He couldn't remember the surface always smelling like that but the warmth was promising. They could be getting closer to the surface. It would be cool if they were nearly home. It had been a long old trip underground and he'd like to be able to hunt easier. A good roast boar would go down a treat, or maybe a mountain thunderer. Yeah that would be good, going on a good hunt for a mountain thunderer and then roasting it over an open fire. All they'd need then to make the night perfect would be a good barrel of ale and they could get hold of that easy enough.

Behind him, Tasnar shone a light stick into the left hand way but it turned out to be nothing but an empty chamber hollowed out of the rock by the steady tickle of water over time. Peter crawled in, swarming over the ceiling to double check that nothing was there but it ready did seem that it was completely empty so Tasnar shrugged and followed along behind the rest of the King's Special.

Kaelin stopped and sniffed as they came to a T-junction, the way forward coming down to the choice - left or right.

"This way," Thorian said, turning right.

"Are you," Kaelin cleared her throat, "Are you sure?"

"Aye-yep," Thorian beamed, "The air's getting warmer. Soon be out."

"If you say so," Kaelin grunted, sniffing. There was a definite foul smell on the air that she wasn't sure about and her nose was telling her that it was becoming stronger in the direction that Thorian had chosen. There again...

She stopped, one ear swiveling back and she turned her head to look down the left hand way.

"What is it?" Estella asked quietly.

"Now sure I heard... something," Kaelin admitted.

"Oh?" Jeremiah raised his beetling eyebrows, "Please do tell us if your little show with Ulrich has called a predator of the Underworld down on our heads. Of course we don't mind that your little temper tantrum has put us all in mortal danger."

"That's not what I heard," Kaelin shook her head, "It sounded more like... more like stone breaking."

"Stone breaking?" Ulrich asked, looking that way himself, "Let's be moving on chaps. I'm sure its just an earth tremor but let's not be hanging about."

"I'm not," Thorian called, already ahead, "So what's keeping you all?" 

Kaelin rolled her eyes but then started walking after him, stepping out with a brisk pace.

They pushed on into the dark but after a while they started loosening collars and cuffs as the temperature rose. Kaelin frowned some more. It felt like they had been walking too long for this to be warmth coming down from the surface. The temperature had dropped a lot quicker when they had first came down here for this distance of stone to be warmed by the sun. She began counting paces under her breath to double checker that it wasn't her ingrained hyper-vigilance playing tricks on her distance perception. When she had a score of three hundred racked up she frowned some more.

"It is still too deep for it to be the surface, favorite of my sister," Tasnar was saying to Ulrich, "Trust us on this, we have a sense of depth when we are in the lands of our home, we are still too deep for it to be the surface."

"Wonder how that works," Estella murmured.

"No idea," Kaelin grunted but Estella wasn't really listening to her, nodding instead to the words of her draconnic passenger as he observed that he had a similar sense of how far away the ground was when he was flying so that he didn't come out of the bottom of a cloud and slam himself into the face of a mountain side. That would be a totally undignified death. She had to smile at that but no one questioned her as they marching on, the tunnels now most definitely smelling of bad eggs as they pushed deeper into the dark.

"I don't know," Ulrich was saying, "I have the distinct feeling that there is an uphill slant to this tunnel."

"That maybe, Favored," Sabal noted, "But that does not mean that we are near the surface."

Jeremiah, meanwhile, was sniffing, more and more exaggeratedly.

"Tell me, my dear," he asked Estella, "Have you by any chance, um, let wind as the more intelligent refer to it?"

"No," Estella replied, her face insulted.

"Then perhaps you should ask your dragon friend if he has noticed any signs of ill health," Jeremiah suggested, "Such... odors are not natural in a healthy body."

Estella coughed as she looked at him and his oily smile.

"Perhaps you should ask your god to double check your own health," she replied and turned away, stepping out quickly to catch up with Thorian and leave Jeremiah behind. Kaelin looked back over her shoulder and shook her head. She falter and then swore under her breath, realizing that the distraction had made her lose her count. At a loss for any other stimulation she'd found that keeping count of her steps as they threaded the curves and twists of the tunnel was helping her to not go to sleep as they pushed on further and further into the dark of the Underworld. With a grunt she started her count again.

She's topped five hundred when she realized that the light stick in Thorian's hand was burning down.

"Thorian," she called, "Light stop." Then her face twisted as she tasted the scent on the air. It was definitely bad eggs.

"No need," Thorian called back, grinning, "Told you we were near the surface!"

As the light stick sputtered out she saw what he meant. They had finally reached another T-junction and light was shining down the left hand way. Kaelin frowned. The light seemed too red for it to be sunlight, unless they were having an absolute shiner of a sunset and the smell was just wrong and the heat, the heat wasn't natural for the sunset.

"Come on," Thorian called and started running towards the light. Kaelin rolled her eyes and followed him. It was undoubtedly trouble but trouble was going to come their way no matter whether they went forward or back so they might as well press on. Still, the smell and the heat... She ran a finger under her collar, glad that the wolf had retreated fully and allowed her to ditch the fur for the moment.

They clattered out into the cavern to find Thorian standing, dejected, sniffing.

"Aye really thought that I'd found the way out," he muttered, "Aye... Aye thought I'd done good."

The pool of slowly rolling magma popped and bubbled at his feet, the bursting skins of molten stones splashing the sides of the pool, building up a slowly growing lip of hot stone.

"You done good enough," Ulrich nodded, "Yes it rather stinks in here and I don't think we should stay for long but this path is definitely on an upward slop and if there was something moving in the tunnels back there then it won't be so keen to follow us through here."

"You sure of that?" Thorian sniffed again.

"I'm sure," Ulrich smiled, "Now people, unless we all want to smell of odor de sulfur, I suggest we move along." Weatherall clattered his agreement to that statement, Peter whistling a rather smug sounding reply from where he was scampering up the wall to where the convection currents caused a cool band of sinking air that only he could reach.

They started forward, following the path forward and round the edge of the bubbling, glooping pool of glowing stone, liquid with the heat from the core of the planet, Hestia's fiery heart laid bare. For some reason none of them felt like speaking until they were passed that pond of liquid fire and saw that the way ahead of them divided as it curled to the right around the lava pool and split to pass the column of rock that was holding up the ceiling of the cavern.

"Alright friends," Ulrich smiled, edging Weatherall forward to the head of the group as the path widened out, "The low road or the high road?"

Kaelin eyed the 'low road' where it passed by the pool of bubbling molten rock. A particularly large bubble splattered liquid slag right across the path.

"High road," she stated, "Definitely the high road."

"As my lady wishes," Ulrich inclined his head and led the way.

"I still don't get it," Thorian was muttering to himself, "Stuff like this was supposed to be down with the dwergs, not up here. Where even are we up here?"

"Still underground," Jeremiah observed, "Despite your oh so gallant efforts to lead us out. Full score on enthusiasm but total lack of results."

"Sounds like your work to try and get us to worship that freaky god of yours," Thorian grunted, aware that Jeremiah was being not nice again, real not nice again.

"Now Thorian," Jeremiah smiled as they walked, "I'm sure that the great god will over look it this once but you should talk of him with more respect. It is heresy to speak of the one true god in such a fashion."

"If he don't like the truth he should change the truth, not shot the messenger," Thorian grunted again. That smile of Jeremiah's really, really irritated him. He knew that when Jeremiah smiled like that he wasn't really smiling. He wasn't happy, he wasn't pleased and he wasn't being friendly like, he was smiling but whatever he was saying or doing he meant something else. Thorian couldn't tell how he knew, he just knew that when Jerry smiled like that it didn't mean what it was supposed to mean and the not knowing how he knew that the messages were all wrong drove him nuts as well. He wanted to punch the grinning priest in the face, he really wanted to punch the grinning priest in his smiling not-smiling mouth.

"Now Thorian," Jeremiah continued smiling that not smile, "It is understandable that you are ignorant of the true nature of gods, seeing as you have undoubtedly only been exposed to the false gods of mortal creation but the one true god does not hide his face behind a false mask of comfort and predictability, he appears as he truly is, in all his wonderful and terrific glamor..."

"Terrific? Ha!" Thorian bellowed, "He ain't terrific, he causes terror! Gods are supposed to look out for their people, not scare them into submission!"

"Um, guys?" Kaelin called, coming to a stop ahead of them, "Could we have quiet a moment please?" She was frowning as she gazed at the floor.

"But that is the way of the false gods, it is the way they trick people into worshiping them," Jeremiah ignored her, "They whisper false promises of comfort and care that they cannot deliver upon so that people will give up their souls to them for these false gods to feast upon. The one true god does not need such false ways, he comes with his true power to judge all and out of those who fall down in fear to worship him he choices those at are worthy of him. Those that are not... well those that are not good enough are waste to be disposed of."

"As much as that is fascinating," Ulrich called, bringing Weatherall to a stop a little way beyond Kaelin, the walls of the cavern and the pillar rearing on either side of him, "Can we have a little quiet? I think Kaelin is right there is something happening around here."

"Well Aye don't want to worship a god who has no love for his people," Thorian snapped back at Jeremiah, ignoring Ulrich's request, "Who'd want to go to heaven if your tormentor meets you there? And no Aye may not be the biggest thinker but Aye know that a god who doesn't care about you, who doesn't understand that us mortals are messy and confused and worried and harried, ain't a god worth believing in!"

"Not around here!" Kaelin yelled, staring at the floor, "Underground here! Shift your afts!" She turned to run.

The floor erupted.

Rock and stones showered down as dust and shards fountained  up, minerals screaming as they tore and in the middle of it all something roared as it burst out of the ground and smashed jagged mouth parts together.

Weatherall made that grinding sounding inside his shell as he was blasted up into the air, claws waving, legs peddling frantically, Ulrich screaming as he let go of the crab's eye stalks to grab at the edge of its shell. He missed.

Still yelling, both of them bounced off a horny, fang tooth edged mouth blade as it swung up and shut, Ulrich only just managing to snatch his ankle out of the way as the thing snapped and grabbed. He thudded to the ground and rolled away from the falling stone and rippled skin of the thing that arched over to wave its five feelers at the scattered members of the King's Special. Its jaws unfolded and and unfolded again, feelers waving in obscene patterns round a maw that belonged in hell, great scissoring blades edged in great tusks that sheared through the air, clashing like the gates of doom.

Estella took one look from where she crouched, just beyond the edge of the debris fall and threw up. She threw up a great black waterfall of oil that surged and pulled, the noise of flesh oozing into new positions mixed with the cartilage crunch of joints twisting back into alignment, Valodrael's face emerging from the flow, pulling the black ooze into shape behind him as he reared and spread, wings booming open as he roared at the gigantic worm that clicked its jaws at him. It waved the hooks that studded its form at him, each hook as long as Thorian's  forearm. Valodrael snarled, eyes shiny with the light of dying supernovas.

"It's not working!" Sabal yelled, blinking, the glow in his gaze faltering in his panic.

"It doesn't have eyes!" Quenril snapped, red anger and green fear rippling in alternating bands over his skin, "You can't meet the gaze of something that has no eyes!"

"Let's try this," Estella smiled, her talismans swirling into distinctive patterns behind her as she raised her hands, all seven - red cardinal, purple toad, turquoises kirin, black bat-cat, gold phoenix, white serpent and black devil flower mantis - carving the runes of Kronzyn in the patterns of their flight, helping their mother channel her new abilities. She widened her stance, crouching slightly, something in her stance combative. Raising two fingers on both hands, her right hand traced the top of the circle, her left traced the bottom, making the foundation of the spell as the sparkles fizzed in the wake of her gestures, binding to make the whole.

"Ha!" she punched through the center of the circle and it speed across the space, slamming into the worm, outlining it in dazzling flickers of color. It reared over, bending away from them, snapping at something that wasn't there. "Get on with it! I don't know how long I can hold the spell!"

Valodrael didn't need telling twice, slamming into the worm, teeth grinding over its skin that turned out  to be a lot tougher than he had expected it to be. Growling he sort to change his grip. The worm thrashed and roared, arching away from him and then smashing back, Valodrael's head caught behind it and the pillar of stone. His head splashed over the rock face, bursting like an over ripe plum. With a bone shattering crunch, his skull reformed, twisting back into being at the end of his neck.

"Ow!" he said slowly, turning his reforming face to glare at the giant worm.

Below the clashing giants, Ulrich pulled himself to his face and lifted a hand to his shoulder, wincing as pain flared up his back like liquid fire.

"Marmaduke," he croaked and then coughed, "Marmaduke, help me with this." The automation stamped forward and helped his master right Weatherall as the crab had landed fall on its back, unable to right itself amongst the rubble and shattered stone.

"Marmaduke," Ulrich instructed as he climbed back on to Weatherall's shell, "Fight with the Ash Elves, help keep them safe. Peter, see if you can strike the thing from above." Peter whistled his salute and scrambled up the rock face to hang from the ceiling, snipping venom loaded mandibles at the giant worms feelers.

Kaelin doubled over for a second, the shift rippling through her bones, nose and mouth merging to become the long snout of a wolf, her brown fur sprouting over her skin like corn in a wheat field, her jacket shifting along its seams to take the change. She crouched, lifting her wings.

"Let's see how these things work," she mauled the words through her fangs. She jumped, wings kicking into the down beat, climbing high faster than she expected. She wobbled in the air as she tried changing the direction of her thrust, hands flaring out. She tumbled but it brought her within range of one of the worms thrashing tentacle feelers. She bit it. The worm thrashed, shaking her through the air, making her new wing arms ache and her neck strain. Her grip slipped and she span through the air. It was only bit good luck that she landed feet first on the wall, if it had been any other way she would probably been killed. She narrowed her wolf eyes and the thrust off from the wall, slamming into the back of the worm's head and sliding down its length, claws hooked over, gouging at its hide the whole way but she didn't even scratch it. She jumped back out of combat as her feet touched the floor.

"What the hell is this thing made of?" she demanded, "Dragon leather? Cold ooze?"

"Couldn't tell you my dear," Jeremiah called from where he hoovered out of reach of the worm's snapping maw.

The Quenril rolled his eyes slightly as he dropped the bolt into the groove of his crossbow and took the knee to steady his aim, Tasnar and Sabal flanking him. The bolts hissed through the air, slamming home against the worm's under belly. They dug in, ever so slightly but the worm didn't seem to notice them, rounding towards them as the glimmering light around Estella's hands began to fade.

"I can't hold it much longer!" she warned.

Jeremiah tugged at his beard as he considered the scene below, his wings curving in a complicated pattern as he hoovered. He tapped his chin and then pointed at Nanny Tatters, muttering his prayers he did so. The air groaned as Nanny Tatters swelled back to her original size, cloudy skin stretching to take the expansion, her one huge eye blinking its sideways lids as her bones settled back to being solid.

"Feed my pretty," Jeremiah called, "Feed!" She took him literately, the stump of her tail beating the air behind her as she charged, the Ash Elves having to dive out of the way as her foot nearly crushed them, rearing to seize the giant worm and worry it with her teeth. It writhed and clicked its massive jaws, the shock waves popping everyone's ears. Nanny Tatters bent it and bowed it, trying to find a way to split its skin.

Thorian's eyes widened as he saw the patch of the worm's skin that was pulled tight as Nanny Tatters bent it over backwards.

"It's Thorian time!" the orc crossed breed thundered forward, broadsword raised. He leaped.

The worm's skin burst under the strike, the cut ripping back, the tissue tearing under the pressure.

The worm screamed.

It was a noise like no other that they had ever heard,  gurgling liquid sound not unlike Valodrael's liquefying sound but much louder. It shook Nanny Tatters off and dived, Weatherall double switch backing to get out of the way fast enough and Thorian throwing himself against the wall as the worm became a blurring arch of flesh as it tunneled into the floor. Nanny Tatters tried to grab it again and had her head nearly ripped sideways for her effort. She pulled her head back and shook it but stopped part way through the motion, almost as if it pained her.

Kaelin narrowed her eyes as her bones reformed into her human face. As an undead... thing, Nanny Tatters shouldn't have been conscious of any pain. This was worrying but there were more pressing matters as the tail end of the worm disappeared into the floor, leaving two gaping voids.

"Um people," she called, "I suggest we don't stay here. I don't know what that things turning circle is like but I don't want to be here when it surfaces again."

"A sensible suggest," Ulrich agreed, rubbing his neck, "I think this is one of those 'let's go while the going is good' moments."

"Agreed," Valodrael rumbled, his size decreasing to that of a draft horse so he could stand close to Estella, head swinging back and forward, glaring at the place the worm had come from and where it had gone to. Estella gave a nod and edged round the pits in the floor. They pressed on into a larger area of the cavern and the air warmed again.

Valodrael snorted and started pacing back and forth across the cavern.

"The ground is hot here," he noted, stepping back from one area of the cavern floor.

"Must be another up welling of the rock that burns," Quenril observed, "They are dangerous as one never knows how thick the stone over them is."

Valodrael stepped even further back.

"What is the matter," Jeremiah called, a mocking edge in his tone, "Surely a quick dip in a little lava should pose no threat to one such as you?"

 Valodrael's expression was flatly unfriendly. 

"It is possible that I cannot die," he observed, "Seeing as I am not truly alive but bathing in lava would still be painful in the extreme and I don't hunt pain for myself. For others, yes, for myself, no. And sides from that I have no ready wish to be trapped within a lava pocket for the next thousand years. I know you have no concept of hunger but I can testify to the fact that hunger can become its own form of torture when it cannot be sated."

"I beg to differ," Jeremiah half bowed, still mocking, "I am perfectly familiar with hunger. After all, days of fasting are a common occurrence within the church's calendar."

"That I doubt," Valodrael said flatly.

"There is something else to consider here chaps," Ulrich called, eyeing the two passages out of the cavern, "No matter how tough those worm things are, I highly doubt that they are fire proof. If we stick close to the lava we should be safe from attack from below."

"As much as that is a marvelous point," Jeremiah smiled the smile that made Thorian want to punch his teeth in, "Said lava will also be our doom if we put a foot wrong."

"So we don't put a foot wrong," Ulrich countered with a real smile, "Here, I'll show you, come along chaps, let's not provide food for the worms." He jockeyed Weatherall towards the opening straight ahead of them, a gap illuminated by a yellow red glow that flickered with the bursting tempo of lava bubbles exploding. Kaelin shock her head as her ears picked up the sound of roiling molten rock. Ulrich was a nice guy but sometimes he was that damn reckless it was unbelievable. She actually felt sorry for Quenril and the others as they followed Ulrich towards the gap, Marmaduke clanging along behind them. Peter at least was not likely to fall into the pit, seeing as he was crawling along the wall again. She turned to the rest of them.

"Shall we find out if the other way is safer?" she gestured to the other gap in the wall.

"Fair idea," Estella nodded and walked with her towards it, her talismans twittering around her head. Thorian glanced at how fixed Jeremiah was on the little wooden creatures of magic and stepped behind Estella to shield her from the priest. Valodrael nodded to him in silent thanks and agreement.

Kaelin leaned cautiously round the edge of the opening.

"Watch your step, single file people."

She flicked an ear in the direction of Ulrich's voice but she was more focused on whether or not the path became lighter in the distance or whether her eyes where playing tricks on her. Estella stepped up beside her and peered into the gloom as well. The red cardinal twittered to her and Estella looked up at it. After a moment she nodded and it flicked off into the gloom. Valodrael watched it go and then padded passed them both, the soft liquid sound of his footfalls muted as he padded into the darkness that clung deeper to the left side of the path. A second later he emerge back and Kaelin could tell from the angle of his head that he had turned a circle in the darkness there.

"Empty," he reported, "Just a hollow space. If it was closer to time for making camp I would have suggested there but there again," he looked back towards the wormholes they had left behind, "Maybe not."

The Red Cardinal came flitting back to Estella, chirruping the news.

"Another lava pool but it is small," Estella translated, "Should give us light but not danger if we are careful."

"Let's be careful then," Kaelin noted, walking into the gloom. A second later it started lighting up with stripes of a sickly yellow glow that made Kaelin feel slightly sick, only slightly sick all over, like her whole body had suddenly become her stomach and it didn't know whether or not it was going to throw up. She glanced back over her shoulder and Jeremiah smiled below his crown of warped and twisted antlers, that mind challenging sigil turning slowly within its cage, casting its diseased light. She shuddered as she turned away. So far he had done nothing that would bring sensor down on his head, other than murder Stink of the Midden and goblins weren't not recognized as people by most people. Nobody else would care that he had slit Stink of the Midden's throat from behind, a callous killing but one that most would see as just a disposal of a piece of vermin. Kaelin clenched her fists. They were people, gods be damned, the goblins were people, people driven down to where being criminals were pretty much all they had left and then they were blamed for the path that others made sure was the only one that was left to them. Yes many of them would stick to that path now, after all it was the only one they had been allowed for thousands of years, it had been breed into them but some wanted a chance to be something more and people weren't allowing them to take it. That was what hurt. If the goblins were allowed to try and be people then perhaps someone, somewhere would allow her to be a person.

There was a soft wriggling sound behind her. Steeling herself she looked again. Nanny Tatters was squeezing herself into the tunnel one wiggle at a time, blinking her huge single eye. Kaelin looked at that blue orb with its black threads and shuddered. That thing just gave her the creeps.

Ulrich guided Weatherall carefully. The lava in this pool was lower than in the first pool that they had passed or the edges of the stone lip was higher, either way the splatters of molten stone were not reaching their feet. The heat however was still intensive and the smell was enough to put you off dinner for hours. It was certainly enough to make Ulrich feel dizzy and light headed, hence why he told his party to walk in single file, he didn't want anyone taking a tumble in, despite how small the hell pit was. Thankfully it was barely more than half a dozen paces to get past it and then they were back on solid ground. He looked around as Weatherall turned to the left. To the right was another dead end, alight with its own pool of molten rock. Ulrich frowned as he realized that before several circles within circles of fist sized rocks had been placed on the floor. A shiver ran up his back as he realized that this place could be some sort of ritual site and the thought of what those rituals could be crossed his mind. He most firmly nudged Weatherall up the left hand curve of the path, Marmaduke bonging along behind, sounding like an oversized kettle going for a walk.

"Anyone else wondering if our sister's favorite may have made a... slight miscalculation?" Tasnar asked the others quietly as they walked passed the end of a long thin pool of lava that curved away out of sight around the stump of a pillar of stone to touch the path again on the other side of the pile of rock, or at least that is how it appeared judging by the blood hued glow.

 "We do not question the Favored," Sabal hissed, earning himself a reprimanding hiss from where Peter was scurrying on the wall, "Unless you want us to face the reprimand when we return to our Matriarch."

"That may have been true once," Quenril observed as they forged on through the heat, his skin shading towards a light purple, a color that seemed to be a sign of curiosity, "But this one is not like the Favored of old, he is something new and he may accept being... inquired of, if we do it carefully enough."

"Quiet a minute chaps," Ulrich called, holding up a fist as he reached the mid point of passing the stump of the pillar, "There's something here." It took the Ash Elves all of a heartbeat to respond, unslinging their crossbow and cocking them. The bolts dropped as one into the grooves. They stepped forward carefully, a quiet as only an elf could manage, crossbows pointed slightly down but hands ready to shift them to the level and fire from the hip if needed.

Kaelin's team stepped into the light of the open space they had finally found. It was the largest free space that they had found so far in this leg of the journey and Kaelin breathed easier to see the room, even if it had the largest lava pool so far bubbling away at the far end. She definitely needed to get out from under the ground and breath under the free sky for a while. She scanned the space, years of living on edge making her prepare for what ever could be coming.

"There's the exit," Estella pointed over the space to where a pathway seemed to rise out of the floor of the depression and curve away, up and to the right. Kaelin frowned, trying to picture the lay out of the surrounding tunnels.

"Aye think Ulrich's behind this wall," Thorian banged a fist against the wall to their right, "Aye think that there path is going to meet up with him."

"And how would you know about that?" Jeremiah smiled, ignoring Nanny Tatters' efforts to squeeze her way through the tunnel exit into the chamber, "Do your people possess a tremor sense?"

"You what?" Thorian asked but then ploughed on before Jeremiah could clarify, realizing that the priest was only trying to be unkind again, "I've got a good think of where we are and where the tunnels lead to, at least for a short ways. My people where made down here, 'member? Stands to reason that I have some sense of the tunnels, not as good as those Ash Elf fellows but a little."

 "Well standing here gassing isn't getting us any where," Kaelin noted, "Come on feet." She started crossing the depression, the others falling in around her. Possibly because of her need to started feeling like they were making some progress on getting out of the Underworld, she wasn't paying as much attention as she should have done.

"You know what?" Thorian chattered, "Aye think that when we get out of here we should go for a hunt together. Something big, something fun, something like a mountain thunderer. Have you ever seen a mountain thunderer?" Busy with describing a mountain thunderer Thorian didn't realize that the pebbles that rattled away from his boots hadn't been kicked by his feet.

Jeremiah narrowed his eyes, noting the shifts in the floor. He looked up at Kaelin and Thorian, noting that they hadn't noticed. Without changing the speed of his steps, he shortened his stride so that he dropped back behind them, gesturing for Nanny Tatters and the vigor to stay back as well.

Estella's talismans swooped low, their piping little voices becoming agitated as they inspected the floor.

"What's the matter?" Estella called and the talismans suddenly squeaked, speeding back to her, pushing against her chest. "What...?" she began.

Valodrael seized her in both hands and lifted her off the floor, back winging a leap and not a second too soon.

The floor erupted! The giant worm, arched over and snapped its freak show mouth parts at them.

Weatherall also reared, flinging his claws wide as the floor burst open, the worm forcing its way through like an explosion of hunger and snapped its jaws at them. Ulrich's fae-gifted, elf forge blade leapt to his hand.

"Charge!" he roared, jockeying Weatherall forward. The crab obeyed, claws snapping and clashing as it scuttled and turned so that it face the worm and could bring both sets of claws into work. Ulrich slashed out, drawing an elegant X with his blade work but the edge that had never failed him before when it came to just sheer cutting power barely dented the things skin and it shrieked at him, not a sound made by vocal chords but the explosive release of pressure being vented through a space gap. It was not unlike the shriek of one of the dwerg's locomotives and just as piercing. As it bore down on him Weatherall snatched out and managed to pinch one of the worm's feelers in his grip. It reared back and nearly hosted Weatherall off his feet but the fleshy appendage was slimy and the crab's grip slipped. He landed with a clack of hard shell against stone.

"Steady on!" Ulrich called as he was nearly thrown off, "I say you chaps, give us a hand here will you?"

Marmaduke took that as instructions, stepping into the breach, making Quenril and his kin change their aim but when the automation hit the worm, it staggered, its length wavering as the force of the blow rippled through its length. Weatherall jigged as an extra large bubble of lava burst and splattered uncomfortably close to the edge of the narrow path. The bubbling pool seemed to have been stirred up by the vibrations of giant worm thrashing in the rock so close to it.

In the larger chamber Jeremiah took to the wing, heavy membranes thumping through the air as he decided whether he was going to hover to have the optimum position to over see the battle field. Having decided his position he turned in the air, wings pumping, finger joints twitching to change the shape of their membranes to alter lift and air direction. He pressed his lips as the muscle burn began to kick in but he was determined to not let that show. He would have dignity in front of these peasants.

"You," he called imperially to Nanny Tatters, "You, looked at me!" She took a moment to respond, apparently interested in the little people hoping and jumping around the giant worm but then she slowly looked up at him. His will lanced into her head, probing into the swirling muck heap that was her mind. It was just the dark cloud of half remembered glimpses of her life, a scattered handful of impressions that had not yet decayed into the nothingness of death. He narrowed his eyes and focused his mind like a scalpel. Nanny Tatters staggered but then something bubbled up to the surface.

Jeremiah smiled, turning in the air, chanting the words to make his Will reality.

The giant worm yet loose that squealing explosive hiss that was their version of a scream as the bands and chains of light writhed into being around its form, constricting on its flesh and biting in deep. It quivered, unable to writhe as the binding light held it tight.

In the tunnel by the bubbling pool of lava, Quenril twitched his head, hearing the hiss of Jeremiah's dark will. He couldn't see the fat one but he could hear that malicious greed but he shook the distraction from his mind, focusing on the giant worm in front of them as it brought its horror jaws down towards his sister's favorite. He had to lead his kin, they had a job to do. As one their fingers tightened on the triggers. The bolts whistled out and the worm reared back, snapping its jaws on the nasty little barbs that stang. The bolts shattered and fell in pieces from its jaws as it reared back over and scream hissed at them again.

"Well that's an embuggerance," Tasnar noted as Peter reared down from the ceiling and snapped at the giant worm, hiss screaming back at it, which at least had the effect of distracting it for a moment as it turned. For a second Ulrich dared to hope that perhaps, just perhaps, Peter might be able to talk to it, use the same language to break through the barrier and bring an end to this conflict as the horse shoe pool of lava bubbled and foamed, greater splashes flying into the air. Then the giant worm bit at Peter and sent the giant centipede scurrying away, shrilling in fear and panic.

"Oh great," Ulrich observed, trying to get Weatherall into a better position, "They're one of those species that eat their own young!"

Jeremiah heard the yell echoing down the tunnel but seeing as it was Ulrich's choice to divide the party then he deserved everything he got. Jeremiah frowned as the giant worm strained and bucked against the magically restraints.

"You," Jeremiah called to his vigor pack barer, "Hide there." He jabbed his finger at a cleft in the wall close to the pathway up and out of this world of rock and monsters. The vigor turned its lamp like eyes to where he pointed and started towards it, heedless of the noise of battle, ignoring the lumps and chunks of rock that went spinning passed its head, utterly single minded in its goal of doing what its master had commanded. It did not flinch as a fist sized chunk of rock smashed into the edge of the cleft as it reached it and spat shrapnel at it. It gave no sign that it felt the slivers of rock cut into its face, squeezing into the cleft instead and then stilling to a complete stillness was unnerving to observe but at the time everyone else was too busy to notice.

"You!" Jeremiah ordered Nanny Tatters, "Use your breath weapon on it!"

 She swiveled her eyed stared to the giant worm and lumbered across the cavern, Kaelin and Thorian having to dodge out of the way as she stomped forward.

"Oi! Steady on!" Thorian yelled.

Nanny Tatters paid him no heed, opening her maw and then that soul chilling death rattle rang through the chamber. The worm juddered against the cage of light around it, shaking so hard the ground rumbled, making the pool of lava froth but it didn't visibly age. Nanny Tatters blinked her sideways lids and something that could have been the stirrings of a growl echoed in her desiccated rib cage. She stumped forward, reared and seized its mouth parts. It tried to snap shut on her fingers like a rat trap, slamming against her, the bounds of the spell of entanglement beginning to weaken against its continued struggles. She just kept it from closing its jaws, only just but she managed it. It scream hissed at her as she started forcing its jaws open again, a dreadful creaking cracking noise sounding as it fought against her.

In the tunnel, Ulrich hit the giant worm over and over again as Quenril and the others reloaded their bolts.

"Anytime now chaps," Ulrich called to them as Weatherall battered his claws against the worms hide, "Any time now!" Weatherall ground and growled, the noise of frustration bubbling up from his stomach.

He wasn't the only one becoming frustrated.

Thorian charged forward, broadsiding the giant worm Nanny Tatters grappled with, his great sword not so much slicing at it as slamming into it, battering at it like an unskilled woodsman hacking at a tree. That was hardly surprising as orc weapons were not built to be fancy, fencing and flourishing were a foreign concept to them. Orc weapons were closer to being a very long baseball bat with a sharp edge and wielded in much the same manner, swung at the target as hard and as fast as possible until the target fell over. Well Thorian swung at the target as fast and as hard as he could, hitting it over and over again, his sword thudding at its hide over and over but unable to pierce through it.

"Aye don't like this!" Thorian growled, his eyes beginning to shine, "Aye don't like this at all! Aye want a enemy that know when to lay down and quit!"

"Unfortunately some people don't know when to quit," Valodrael observed as he set Estella down safely out of the range of the giant worms attempts to sling lumps of rock around with its heaving and gouging. Valodrael's eyes were shining with the sickly glow of dying supernovas as the giant worm tore free of the magical bindings and ripped itself out of Nanny Tatters grip. It arched backwards and then slammed forward, body slamming the undead dragon, driving the breath from her lungs and wrenching several joints out of place. She backed off, hissing and wheezing, her translucent hide blooming over her left shoulders with the purple and blue of extreme bruising, which was even more impressive because the King's Special didn't just seen the surface level bruise but also the bruising at depth, going all the way down to her muscle.

"That's going to hurt tomorrow," Kaelin noted as she took to the air.

"Now Kaelin," Jeremiah corrected as she flew unsteadily passed, "You forget, Nanny Tatters is just an animated object, a puppet if you will, she does not feel pain, she can't, she doesn't have a functioning nervous system."

"Oh really," Kaelin grunted, "And I need to know this now because?"

"Dear Kaelin, I am a man of the cloth," Jeremiah smiled, "It is my duty to instruct those that have incorrect thoughts."

"Incorrect thoughts?" Kaelin called back as she rose higher, heading for the ceiling, "Or just the thoughts you don't like?"

Jeremiah glowered.

The worm facing Ulrich's team in the narrow space between wall and horseshoe pool of lava swung around, Marmaduke's heavy, resounding footfalls having caught its attention. It waved its feelers at Marmaduke.

"Marmaduke!" Ulrich tried to steer Weatherall as far away from Marmaduke as possible in the confined space, seeing what was about to happen, "Defend..."

The worm struck, huge bulk arrowing down towards the automation.

"Jump!" Ulrich commanded.

Marmaduke, ever obedient, jumped, the worms massive mouth parts scissoring shut behind his feet, rather than sheering them off at the knees. It reared, trying to workout what this hard thing that was now tumbling down its gullet truly was.

In the cavern, having reached the top of her flight, Kaelin curved over and arrowed down, smacking into the worm just beyond its mouth parts, hoping that the skin, being more flexible there would also be thinner. It wasn't. She gouged down ten feet and then pushed off, winging away, dodging and rolling as best she could as the worm snapped and clashed its horror show mouth parts at her. It did not get long to chase her though, Valodrael was suddenly there between them, rearing up, wings spread wide as he sucked in the breath that proceeded the blizzard that was more than a blizzard. The worm lunged forward, snapping its mouth parts just short of Valodrael's face. It opened its mouth again, its jaws unfolding and unfolding again.

With the sound of an Arctic howl, Valodrael roared the cold of the Void between the stars into being. Rock popped as it froze, the air screamed as it contracted, the worm reared back, bending over to get away from him, icy chiming as it crystalized on the worm's form. Within moments the flailing bulk of the giant invertebrate was stiffening as its skin thicken into ice, crystals erupting through the surface as cell walls burst. It scream whistled as it surface bulged and rippled unevenly, then the shriek of the Arctic gale ran out, Valodrael stepping back a pace as he gulped for air, eyeing the creaking, oozing worm. He'd never had a target of the Breath of the Void survive it for longer than a handful of seconds and this thing had, just as the first one had not only resisted his fangs, it had actually managed to hurt him.

With a series of creaking, crunching bangs, the worm bent back the other way, the ice that one side of its hide had become, cracking and crushing as it forced ice to bend and break so that it could rear back towards the panting Void Dragon and bite at his face, water and another, darker fluid spilling down its side from multiple fissures and rents. Its hide had become a glacier on one side, creaking and groaning with the movement. Lumps and chunks of off color ice spilled down to smash upon the floor.

Estella was already drawing the circle of sparkles, feet spread wide, back braced, her talismans cheeping and whirring as they supported her efforts, the Devil Flowers Mantis taking the top of the circle, its fan wings buzzing as it light up sparks of its own and fed them into the circle of Spirite born power.

"Ha!" Estella yelled, unleashing the spell.

The worm's maw smashed shut inches to the left of Valodrael's head, distracted by the false sensations its feelers were picking up and Valodrael reared, punching it in the side, slamming its length against the cavern wall.

"Returned to sender!" he barked as more chunks of frozen hide burst from it and cascaded to the floor, shattering with the ring of breaking glass.

Jeremiah looked away, bored with the whole thing. That and his shoulders were aching with the effort to stay air borne, which was making him irritable. He also needed to give a sacrifice to his god. He had been blessed and he must give thanks to his god for the privilege. He muttered a prayer, asking for guidance and for a second he had to grit his teeth as it was revealed to him that Thorian had been correct, Ulrich and his trio of sycophants were just the other side of the wall, close to where his party had entered this chamber. It was galling to know that the orc cross breed had been right. He was a non person, he had no right to be correct but there again the big, dumb, green lump was the larger meat shield when Jeremiah needed one so... And Ulrich was out of Kaelin's sight so she wouldn't be able to tell if Jeremiah... affected things. He smiled and folded his hands together, muttering a prayer to his god to destabilize, to weaken and undermine, while at the same time to cause turmoil and agitation, to bring heat to the surface, to break and destroy.

Ulrich felt the Weatherall's shifting weight as the crab panicked. He lurched as Weatherall stumbled and saw the ground below cracking up, a rising glow shining through the cracks in the stone.

"Oh golly!" he yelled, lurking the other way as Weatherall skittered and the giant worm started to thrash, "We need to get out of here!" He looked around wildly and saw the impossibility. Being Ulrich he went for it.

"This way!" he guided Weatherall round the flailing worm clockwise, squeezing him between the mass of the worm's heaving body and the wall of the cavern, leaning back so far his knees started sliding forward as Weatherall's back edge rose in the air to squeeze both himself and his rider into the gap, scurrying away from the shattering stone, the rising heat making Weatherall grind in pain as the points of his legs started to blacken.

Quenril's bolt jolted out of the groove as he stumbled, the solid stone crumbling beneath him. He whirled his arms a moment and then threw himself forward, Tasnar at his side, Sabal behind him. Quenril seized his brother's arm and half pulled, half shoved him towards salvation. Tasnar jumped, leapt, scrambled and threw himself through the gap, bouncing off the worm's bulging side as he did so. Quenril leapt, feet find purchase on falling stones, making them bare his weight for just a fraction of a second, making them give him just enough purchase to leap from one to the next and the next and the one after that. He landed in the gap and turned in time to see Sabal's terrified face as he started toppling over backwards, eyes wide, mouth agape, the beginnings of a terrified scream rising in his throat as the ground opened up to drown him in lava.

Before Quenril would have let him topple, before he would have accepted that the weak should die for the good of the strong, before he would have believed that Sabal had proven himself weak. However, that was before, this was now.

Quenril dug his fingers into a crack in the rock face to his right and swung his crossbow by the stock towards Sabal, leaning out as far as he could, swinging the stirrup towards him. Sabal flung out a hand and caught the bar of metal, gripping so hard his knuckles were white even as he started dropping but he had both hands on the stirrup when he slammed chest first into the rock fast, his boots smoking with the heat of the rising lava, the breath punched from his lungs but he held on, as did Quenril, even while the giant worms thrashing threatened to crush him. Then Tasnar was there, grabbing his belt from behind, sinking into a back stance, taking the strain so Quenril could risk letting go of the rock face, could risk grabbing Sabal's wrist in his free hand and heave him up and over the crumbling lip and drag him passed the crumbling rock, could risk holding him up as they staggered passed the stricken behemoth as it thrash and writhed and hiss screamed.

In the larger chamber, Estella flattened her hands and stepped into a wider stance, the glow building around her, echoing the flickering lines of fire ringing the worm's feelers. She cut through the air with a slow motion as she crouched and then rose, first one hand then the other as she span with slow grace, catching and shaping the wavering light between her hands, lifting it high, hands together, palm to palm, heel of hand first in the style of a chest pass but from above her head, the light fracturing as it sprayed from her finger tips. The worm lashed from side to side, ice chunks raining down, exposing the tender surface of a blister underneath. Estella held her stance, holding the double layer of the spell. Valodrael stepped back, shrinking in size, standing behind her.

"Do you know who you are?" he asked quietly. She face twitched and the light flickered.

"You are not who you were so who are you now?" his voice was a quiet rumble in her ear. She twitched a foot, the light flickered again.

"Widen your stance," he advised, "Don't lock your knees, feel for the flow of of the stream, my little Longma."

She muttered something through her teeth and then stilled. She took a proper breath through the nose and breathed it out through her mouth, matching the beats that Myslynn had shown her. Her hands relaxed, moved, slowly, carefully, drawing the brush strokes of light and the spells moved in time with it, smooth, fluid, strong but mobile in their foundations.

"Seeds of the time," Valodrael hummed, "Caught in the flow."

The talismans flew, spiraling above her, the light trailing in their wake, something like a horse taking shape in their carving of the stream but it was not just a horse, there was something of both power and pain within it, its brow noble but its teeth sharp, its wings of scales as well as feathers. It leaned forward until its face was super imposed upon her own, its antlers crowning her brow.

Valodrael looked on and beamed, humming with pride. She was glorious. He had seen the seed in her heart all those years before, it had been his greatest moment to know that it was his, his to hoard and protect and now at last, it had truly started to grow, no longer a flicker in the sand, now the spring started to rise and already it was no longer just a trickle in the sand. He grinned to see her find her power, to see the first hints of her crown. His queen was magnificent.

Kaelin swooped lower and brought her feet down for a landing. This dodging a giant worm wasn't being the best time to practice her flight work and the landing wasn't exactly the neatest ever as she had to hop and skip and stumble to stop herself from face planting straight into the ground. She managed it, just and took a moment to grab a couple of mouthfuls of air.

"Help!" a voice called. Kaelin stood up, looking around.

"Help!" the voice came again and she recognized it as Quenril's, though she did not see him.

"Please! Help!" Quenril's voice again and she realized that she wasn't hearing it with her ears but rather with her mind. She looked around, eyes running away from where the others still fought with the giant worm that was threatening them, over the rock faces of the cave. She wasn't sure were they were but if they were close enough that Quenril's new ability could reach her then that should mean that they were close enough for her to be able to do something for them. She steadied herself and unslung Haggis.

"No funny stuff this time alright," she warned him.

"Parp, puh, parp," he hooted but she wasn't entirely sure he was being apologetic for nearly choking her the day before but she didn't have time to clarify. She pocked the blow stick between her lips and blew into the bag, the drone beginning as Haggis' furry bag filled up, the tartan pattern showing up in lines of black and tawny brown as he bulged. Kaelin unleashed the opening notes, fingers flickering up and down the chanter, making the rocks around them ring. She closed her eyes, blocking out the sight of the giant worm thrashing as its feelers were overloaded with a level of vibrations it didn't usually deal with, feeling for the edge, feeling for how she could take this power and send it to Ulrich and the others. The stones resounded, layering back her playing building harmonies and counter harmonies, some stones deepening the notes, some lifting them higher and Kaelin suddenly saw how she could do it. She concentrated, focusing on sending the music along the veins of metal ore in the rocks, channeling it along those highways of crude but resonating metal. She frowned as the sensation became mushy for a moment, almost as if something soft, something fleshy had got in the way of the signal and then she felt a mass of metal, refined and shaped, cast and polished to perfection. She wasn't sure what it was but she piled the power on, puffing into the blow stick as hard as she could, fingers flying faster than ever, cheeks bulging, eyes screwed shut.

Ulrich stared as the point of a gleaming bronze sword erupted through the giant worm's side. It bucked but had hardly a second to do more as that sharpened edge sheered in a complete circle and the entire top half of the giant worm that had nearly done for him and the Ash Elves toppled sideways, splashing down into the bow shaped pool of lava, blackening and erupting into flames a moment later, black and greasy smoke boiling up to roll across the roof of the tunnel.

Marmaduke, covered in worm slime and worse, stepped down of the ragged stump on to the rock before Ulrich and the Ash Elves and then took the knee as Ulrich whooped and the Tasnar cheered. Even Quenril laughed as Sabal giggled shakily in the nervous back wash of adrenaline, shaking as how close he'd come to death shook through him. The automaton seemed slightly puzzled by all the noise as he straightened at Ulrich's command.

Jeremiah's mouth thinned as he felt the success of Kaelin's support. He had been so close, so close to disposing of his unwanted traveling companion and for the second time as well. The only thing that kept him from commanding Nanny Tatters to shred the interfering hussy was the warmth of the trio of books in his pocket, the heat a comforting glow in the small of his back. It appeared that his god was satisfied with his effort at least. Due to that and only that, he focused his ire on the giant worm still facing his half of the King's Special, muttering the words of the spell that had bubbled out of the undead Hag dragon's mind.

The cage of light sprang into being around the giant worm again but Jeremiah kept muttering, shaping it to his will, contracting the bands of light until they cut deep into the worm's form, like a collar too tight and too long around the neck of a dog, biting into its flesh pulling it over backwards until it ran out of breath to hiss scream, its agony feeding the warmth in the books he carried.

"Marmaduke!" Ulrich suddenly called in the tunnel, "To me!" The automaton stumped forward, heedless that the rock floor had nearly crumbled out from underneath its feet. Quenril and his kin swayed, staggered as the floor lurched beneath them, Weatherall flinging his claws out as the tunnel shook.

"Time to be going!" Ulrich yelled above the noise of popping and cracking rock. He fought with Weatherall a moment, struggling to make the giant crab turn and scuttle up hill, but at last his mount obey and they scrabbled upwards, Marmaduke bonging along with them as they staggered and reeled up the slop and out of the tunnel, pieces of the ceiling beginning to rain down, crashing into the bonfire that was the upper part of the giant worm, splashing into the lava pool, hammering on the oozing stump of the worm's lower half.

In the main chamber Kaelin let the blow stick fall from her lips, widening her stance as she slung Haggis behind her and arched her wings. She kicked off from the floor, pumping her wings to build up speed and braked at the last second, flipping her entire length, slamming feet first into the worm's wounded side. It whistle screamed, sounding like a locomotive in distress. Kaelin bent her knees and kicked off from its side, streaking through the air, having to roll through the air to avoid being smacked by Nanny Tatters swinging half tail and then executed a flip so that she landed back on her feet, facing the worm again, the wolf bubbling under her skin.

Valodrael nodded to her. He recognized raw skill when he saw it.

The worm bent over towards them, shaking the last of Estella's Sprite born power from its feelers.

"Sorry guys," she called, shaking her hands, "I'm all out!" Thorian on the other hand wasn't.

"It's Thorian Time!" he roared, charging towards the worm. It swung round to face him and Thorian leapt, his rage carrying him high, great sword swung like it was a toy. The worm's horror show jaws gaped, scissoring towards him ready to sheer him in half...

Valodrael's left wing talon smacked it in the side of the head, slapping it away from Thorian and the orc crossbreed's sword slammed point first into the top of the soft, tender area of blister pink flesh and went in up to the hilt. Thorian roared as his weight carried him down, dragging his sword through the worm, opening it up like a sausage on the fire bursting its skin. The worm screamed and toppled, slamming down into the floor of the chamber, leaking a flood of ooze on to the stony ground.

"How's that?" Thorian bellowed with a grin as he turned.

"Not out," Jeremiah called as he drifted down to the floor, "Not out my good sir."

 The floor juddered under their feet and a sizable chunk of stone fell from the ceiling and burst upon the ground, shards slicing through the air. The talismans squealed and dived for Estella's satchel.

"Time to get out of here!" Kaelin shouted and started running towards the slope that led up and out of this place.

"I'll second that," Valodrael noted, stepping forward and spreading his wing over Estella, smaller pieces of rock pattering off it.

"Yeah," Thorian noted, "Nothing here I want to keep." He waved his sword a couple of times, showering the surrounding stone with worm muck and then wiped it on the leg of his draws. He slammed it home into its scabbard and took off after Kaelin, Estella catching up to him, sat aside Valodrael's neck as the chamber rumbled and groaned.

"Oh surely all this charging around..." Jeremiah began and then a chunk of rock the size of cart wheel slammed down only ten feet from him. It was only thanks to a flung up arm and his new, dragon skin robes that he didn't lose an eye.

"Nanny Tatters!" he barked, "Protect me!"

Nanny Tatters bounded over like a giant sized dog and stood over her master, lumps and chunks of stone bouncing off her back. She grunted under the repeated blows.

"You! Follow us!" Jeremiah commanded his vigor pack barer as he hurried passed and the purple goblin thing squeezed its way out of the cleft and stumped along after him and Nanny Tatters, unblinking as destruction rained down around it.

Ulrich felt the tremors continue and tapped Weatherall's shell, trying to convince him to go faster.

"No point hanging around here chaps," he called but he didn't have to, Marmaduke had actually calculated the meaning of the cracking and shifting floor and picked up the pace, out distancing the Ash Elves.

Quenril and Tasnar scrambled up beside their lord and threw themselves up and off the tunnel's sloping floor as said floor began the serious work of disintegrating and rolling back down to were the lava fissure was growing and spreading. Sabal yelped and yelled, falling forward and nearly sliding on the tumbling stone to his death but one hand found a finger grip and he clung on like grim death, legs churning until he found enough purchase to haul himself into the chamber that stood high above where they had been.

Ulrich looked around, very aware that the earth tremors hadn't stopped. To the right the path arched up and out. To the left.

"Oh that's were you chaps got to," he noted, "I did wonder."

"Yeah, well, you know," Jeremiah noted, "Distractions, detours, these things happen. We did have a close look at some of the native wildlife of the area. Did you know that..."

"As much as I'm sure it would be fascinating," Ulrich called, "I'm afraid that we need to get out of here as quickly as possible."

"Oh Ulrich," Jeremiah smiled, "There is no need to be so dramatic. I'm sure..."

The ground lurched.

"Stuff it!" Kaelin barked, "If you think this place is safe, stay here and tell it to the gods!"

"I agree," Estella noted, blinking Valodrael's darkness from her eyes, "This is not the place for a happy reunion!"

"Moving on," Ulrich noted and guided Weatherall up the path while the rock groaned and creaked around them.

Monday, 28 April 2025

Draconnic Shenanigans - Episode 34

 Chapter Thirty Four: Spicy Dinner Time

 

(Artwork by A.I. from The Reiker Vexx song Kibbles Monster Stew)

 The goturi crowd where grinning and looking down on the King's Special from the sides of the arena, their small bodies filling the seat build for much bigger persons, they green membraned wings shifting as they waited for the next round of insults, their blue scales shining in the strange glow from the bioluminescent lamps that hanged down on massive chains from the supporting struts of the arenas canopy.

"I am going to have to find out who built this place originally," Ulrich muttered, "Because it certainly wasn't this lot, "They have no refinement what so ever."

 "I'd dispute that," Tasnar observed, "They do not kill each other in disputes, keeping their cutting to the ego alone and so both combatants walk away alive and still useful to their society, whereas in our society, we lose at least one member and maybe even both. Their way of settling disputes might be something that we need to bare in mind."

"The weak..." Sabal began and then trailed off.

"We'll have to let the weak live and maybe even breed," Tasnar stated what had occurred to Sabal mid-sentence, "It is a numbers game now, we need the numbers more than we need the purity." Sabal looked like he was going to wriggle his way out of his skin but he didn't speak out as Kaelin stepped forward, much to the anticipation of the crowd as she raised Haggis' blowpipe to her lips, the swirling, skirling of the bagpipes flying through the air, making the crowd stamp their feet, clap their hands and their wings beating time to the tune. The stands echoed to it, the air ringing as Kaelin wound the crowd round her little finger with the music. Eryale's veil shifted as if she had raised her eyebrows underneath it, the serpents of her hair swaying along to the rhythm. Kaelin had them all eating out of the palm of her hand.

"Goturi?" she questioned loudly as she let the blowpipe fall, "Goturi? I thought you were a wee goblin's offspring."

"Oh," the goturi champion rolled her eyes and spread her hands in mock terror and then drew herself up.

"Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf,

Big, bad wolf, big, bad wolf?

Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf,

Big, bad wolf, big, bad wolf? 

Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf?

Nooooot me!"

 Her sing song voice made Kaelin narrow her eyes, even as she wondered what the hand gesture of flicking something off the chin meant. It obviously meant something as the champion continued doing it a lot long than necessary if it was an itch or a crumb but the meaning flew over Kaelin's head. However, the crowd took Kaelin's side so perhaps the champion had over sold it to her audience.

Thorian shuffled and grunted, his brain overheating with the effort of equally his earlier offerings to the competition. He knew that he had the words somewhere in here but they just wouldn't come into focus sharply enough for him to be able to speak them out loud. They were in there though, he just knew it. He screwed a finger into his ear, trying to winkle the thought out of his head.

Jeremiah sniffed delicately and decided to step forward, having bidded his time long enough. It was infuriating to have such a large audience not paying attention to him. He smiled behind his beard, wondering if these little degenerates had a knowledge of the gods. It they did not then perhaps they would be open to instruction on the matter and what he could do with a whole hoard of followers was quite an entertaining idea.

"Goturi?" he asked, "Or is that Kobold? Either way, you have the dingiest rags I've ever behold."

 It was bad grammar and would have made any of his tutors twitch but it was worth it to see the little creature tug the hem of what she called a skirt as the crowd laughed at her.

"You're a little human, short and stout,

We all have to listen to the junk you spout,

When you see danger coming, we hear you shout,

So I'll pick you up and wring you out."

Jeremiah glared at the champion as the crowd laughed even harder at her come back. Gerald buzzed nervously as Kaelin sniggered, Thorian guffawed and even Ulrich's Ash Elf tag-a-longs coughed and cleared their throats. Jeremiah's fingers curled into a fist as a fish tail on the champions side rose into the air. They were still fair ahead but the humiliation, oh he would not forget the humiliation.

"You, Sir," he said quite deliberately, "Stink!"

The crowd quietened, obviously expecting more and some frowning as Jeremiah's use of honorific to slur sank in. The champion however, smiled back, an idea visibly bubbling behind her eyes.

"You think you have heart,

But you just need to fart,

And it don't smell like fruit tart.

You weren't my first choice,

The garbage would do and...

If I had a brick I'd throw it at you."

 The crowd roared again and a show of red paddles gave the point to the champion. Jeremiah stepped back as the decorative brass fish showed its tail on the champions side of the score board. If these ingrates couldn't recognize true intelligence then he would not cast his pearls before swine.

Kaelin stepped forward to take his place, having eyed the closing gap between their score and the goturi's champion. It was sitting ten to thirteen to them but they were going to have to pull out the works to make sure they won.

"A necromancy would rather reanimate the dead rat you call a dress than you," she declared.

"Twinkle, twinkle little witch," the goturi champion replied, "Mind your own business, you nosy witch!" A equal number of red and blue paddles were trust into the air at that one, a fish going tail up on both sides of the score board.

Kaelin narrowed her eyes, beginning to compose her next come back but Thorian stepped forward, steam drifting from his ears gently but a huge smile on his face. He set his feet, threw back his head and roared.

"Your scales are thick, your gut is round 

Your feet sink three feet in the ground.

If sneaking's hard and running worse,

Just roll down hill and hope for the worst."

 He held his arms up and turned for the crowd, beaming as they cheered for him. The goturi smoothed her dress over her girth and watched him, waiting for the crowd to quieten before she fired the return shot.

"Big Numpty sat on a wall,

Big Numpty caused a great fall,

All the King's Horses

And all the King's Men,

Couldn't put the wall back together again."

 Outside the arena Peter whistled shrilly, feeling that his position as Ulrich's mount was being called into question but the crowd cheered and this time the King's Special held the field. With that mark of approval Jeremiah stepped forward again, raising his hand for silence.

"There once was a goturi who stank

At insults and it's just fired blanks,

It played the game

But its rhymes were lame

So please go in the corner and... wink."

 The limerick stuttered as Jeremiah realized that he had probably better not use the actual word of that ended that last line, as it would reveal a worldly knowledge that was at odds with his appearance as a man of the cloth but enough of the audience fell in as to the substitution that they roared with laughter. Jeremiah turned and bowed to the royal box. Oh they might not sit in the royal box but he knew social status well enough to recognize the ruling class of this stunted little society.

The goturi raise one paw to her forehead and mock stumbled back, exaggerating her distress.

"I'd touch the Earth,

I'd touch the Sky,

But if I touched you,

I'd surely die."

 Her proclamation gained a few giggles but Jeremiah took that round hands down without effort.

"You know," Kaelin stepped forward, walking round the goturi's champion, looking her up and down like a noble at a horse fair checking out the goods, "You know... I would make a purse out of your hide but it won't be fit enough for an ant."

The goturi straightened, stilled her face to deadpan blankness and then ran her eye up and down Kaelin in return.

"Roses are red," she started.

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

If you don't shut up

I'm gonna punch you.

Roses are red,

Your eye is blue,

'Coz you didn't shut up

When I told you to."

 Kaelin grunted as the goturi inadvertently reminded her of her grandfather, her hair fluffing up in response and distressing amount of hair growing out of her clothes as the wolf tried to come forward but found that it was too tired to part way through the change. It was probably that comical display of fluff that resulted in the goturi siding with their own champion but the King's Special was still leading.

"The arena is fire," Thorian noted, "But your insults are water; they are keeping me wonderfully cool."

The goturi champion rubbed her snout and frowned. It was obvious that she wasn't used to being beaten this darn hard.

"Violets are blue,

You wish you were pretty

And I do too.

You make a skunk jealous,

You smell 'great' too,

Your face is so pretty it belongs in a zoo."

 "Well thank yea!" Thorian beamed at her, "You're the first person who think I'm pretty!"

The goturi champion stood there, mouth open, as Thorian smiled at her and it was only Ulrich's restraining hand that prevented him from running across the arena to give her a great big hug. The fish tail on the King's Special side of the score board clacked firmly into place. They lead by five points now but had no idea how many they needed in total. Kaelin finished rubbing her hair back down smooth and smothered a yawn. Well that was one benefit of being so tired that the wolf was struggling to rise, it was easier to put it back to bed. She straightened and looked at the champion. She owed Kaelin one for stirring up the old muck.

"You who think you are so clever and grand

Spreading insults all around,

But I'll let you in on the final end,

My tiny vermin friend,

You couldn't get a job as a firing squad target!"

 It didn't quite rhyme, she admitted that, but it did get nods of approval from the goturi around Eryale but was it enough to carry the day?

 The matronly goturi sucked her teeth again and then launched her attack.

"Roses are red, Violets are blue,

Faces like yours belong in the zoo.

Don't be so mad, I'll be there too,

Not in the cage but laughing at you!"

 "Aye," Kaelin agreed and gave the goturi just enough time to look surprised before finishing her counter attack, "From the sewer grate!" The crowd started laughing and then Thorian finished the job.

"This little squirt is reusing material!" he protested and the crowd dissolved in hooting laughter. The champion bowed in acceptance as the King's Special scored another point.

Jeremiah reckoned that he had the measure of his audience by now and decided to unleash the crudest insult he knew, with a special twist.

"Look at this poo

That smells like do

And knows not how to bath.

Come all and boo,

Look at my fine bod

And ask what he hath got.

I'll tell you my blessing,

It is the one true god

Klu'ga-nath!"

 The crowd screamed and cowered in their seats as the lights in the arena seemed to darken, a creaking, cracking cold clutching the air. Eryale's serpents reared up, biting at the air while at her side Estella shrank in her seat, Valodrael's darkness filling her eyes. For a second the world tried to turn black and then it slowly released the air, goturi slowly sitting up in their seats again.

"Will you stop saying that name!?!" Quenril demanded, clenching his fists to stop his hands from shaking.

The goturi champion was panting as if she'd just run a mile, crouched by her pet carrier, trying to settle the creature within. After a moment, she gave up and opened it, lifting the creature out so that it cold drape across her shoulders like a feather boa. It was long and black, the feathery branches of its gills flicking round its neck like a ruff. It blinked bead like eyes in its flat head as it studied the King's Special, shifting damp feet on the champions shoulders.

Once it was settled and calm, she turned back to the King's Special and readied her reply.

"If I were a bird

I'd sing a song

And fly about.

I'd go up high

And give a great big shout,

'Look out everyone

The idiots are about!"

 Ulrich had the feeling that she could have said anything at that point and would have carried the vote, the fact that she had managed something coherent just earned his respect. He would never admit it but he was struggling to not throw up all over his shoes. He had seen the damn thing again, that damn dragon made out of shadow and a light that should not existence. The color defied description, a rotten shade, a hue of corruption that made his stomach churn and his throat constrict at the same moment, causing a sensation like he was being strangled. The closest he could described it as was purple but it was not like that truly either. It was a color from outer space.

He breathed a little easier as the fish tail on the side of champion clacked into place and so did a lot of other people it appeared, like, most of the audience.

Kaelin stepped forward, shivering the last affects of that thrice curse name out of her hair and drew a deep breath.

"You be the lowest of the low, " she stated, "So low in fact, a rat considers you too low to urinate on."

It was not she admitted the best or the wittiest insult ever composed but under the circumstance it was the best she could come up with. The goturi champion wagged her tail, winding herself to deliver a blistering round.

"Woe to he who is ruled by the noise of his own stomach," she pointed a claw and ignored the fact that the same could be said of her. Granted, seeing that she was pointing at someone who didn't seem to realize what he was dabbling with, nobody was going to point that out. "In order to learn something, you have to listen to something other than the cavernous sound of your own ignorance! If you are looking for your dignity, I don't have it, seeing as you are none of your best friends, best friend. And oh! If you bother to bathe - pro tip, you don't KEEP the filth for sentimental reasons!"

She was panting again as she reached the end of the rant but the audience was on its feet, roaring its approval. Tasnar, at the risk to his own health, was quietly joining in the applause. The fish dropped its head, raising its tail into the air. Kaelin did a quick count  - eighteen to fourteen in their favor but Jeremiah had definitely lost them the crowd with that damned name. She started racking her brains for some good ones, something that could get them the crowd back but then Eryale rose from her seat and held up her hands.

"We have our winner," she announced as the crowd quietened, every head turning her way. Her veil twitched with that hidden smile and her hands lift high. Then the right one dropped as her head turned to the King's Special, honoring their earlier wins despite Jeremiah invoking his abhorred god.

The Kobold Champion smiled and bowed to them as the crowd started flooding down off the stands.

"Good game," she called, "Aye will have to make a note of some of those as aye have not hear them before."

"Just don't go repeating them wholesale or we'll have to do you for copyright," Thorian called back.

"You what?" Kaelin demanded with her confused to the point of disgusted face.

"Yeah," Thorian admitted after a beat as the gates to the arena swung open, "I don't know where that came from either."

The champion nodded again before she turned and picked up the animal cage, her pet axolotl shifting its damp feet on her sleeves. Ulrich could see its wedge shaped head blinking over the top of the crowd as the goturi poured into the arena.

"Yes, thank you," Kaelin said, trying to turn as they crowded in on her, "I can walk you know, I can whoa!" She was lifted bodily from her feet and found herself bobbing on the hands of the crowd, the sea of blue scales flowing underneath them.

"Oh whee!" Thorian laughed as they streamed through the arena gate, the goturi apparently a lot stronger than their scrawny looks suggested as Jeremiah bobbed along at the back of the group. Peter whistled in alarm, his length coiling and looping as he tried to trundle over the heads of the crowd to get to his master.

"Its alright, Peter," Ulrich called, "I'm fine, no need to panic, it's just a moment of high spirits."

How high were those spirits though, Kaelin wondered as they flooded back out into the streets of the subterranean city, the crowd apparently filling the wide boulevard to the brim as they flowed on through the city, the rush of their cheering chattering voices making the cavern ring to their exuberant shouts. All this excitement couldn't be for them winning, nobody could be this happy for the away crowd to have won.

Ulrich, on the other hand, was perfectly relaxed, waving to the crowd as he floated along on the surf of living creatures, taking their adulation for granted.

"Oh nothing at all chaps, nothing at all," he smiled, "Just doing our bit for your culture, glad to provide the entertainment, after all it is not surprising that you don't get to see many new things, trapped in this cave like this. Oh think nothing of it, had a super time providing a new distraction."

Eventually the flood of excitement slowed down and the cheering quietened, the crowd of goturi lowering them to their feet. Kaelin straightened up, eyes wary, wondering what was coming next.

"Do you smell that?" Thorian asked, eyes gleaming. The others turned their heads, noses testing the air. What came to them was savory, fresh and mouth watering, a serious reminder to empty stomachs that it was long after time for afternoon tea and that they had been traveling ever since they had paused for a lunch of crab legs and most of that had been through excessively cold water.

"Why I do declare that our diminutive hosts have prepared something that may be suitably snackish," Jeremiah observed, "Shall we discover where this delectable odor is coming from?"

Kaelin looked around. The crowd had deposited them on the pavement outside of one of the strange buildings of this city. The this one had its main block set back from the boulevard but two side buildings reached out to the road, making a sort of three sided courtyard and again, it had that odd architecture, that misalignment at the corners that made it hard to understand how it was constructed. It was stone, it's building blocks were all square but somehow the way they met at the corners made the eyes feel that the geometry was just slightly off. It was like trying to describe a square that had four point five sides or a circle that had a straight edge. It wasn't completely wrong, but it wasn't right either. Ulrich rather felt that it was like the differences between Valodrael and the dragon he'd been seeing glimpses ever since Jeremiah had healed him back at the dwerg's city. They were both incredibly dangerous, both seriously scary and both quite capable of striking you stone dead or worse, but some how the human mind choice Valodrael as the one that it would rather be up against in a fight. Possibly because there was something human about Valodrael, for all his teeth and unhallowed joy in the fear of his prey, there was something understandable in his motives and connections to others, something that, for all its darkness, you could reason with, you could get a handle on, an idea of its direction and therefore try to get out of its way. The other one, that dragon of sick glow, that thing of the color of outer space? There was no understanding, there was no way of getting a handle on its mind, it was anathema to the structure of human conscience, of human thought, all it did was breach boundaries without effort, without choice, just by being it broke whom ever looked at it. If that was what people in asylums saw all the time then it was no wonder they were mad. Ulrich shuddered and petted Peter as his giant centipede came trundling over, whistling that he had been separated again from his master and wasn't happy about it.

"Nu..." Thorian frowned, "Nu... eye... butt."

"The insult slinging competition is over, my incoherent friend," Jeremiah stated, "You can stop over working what brain you have."

"Aye wasn't over working my brain," Thorian pouted, "Aye was trying to work out what is written there." He gestured at the front of the building. Kaelin blinked. She'd been so distracted by the buildings out of kilter architecture that she'd missed that there was a large banner made out of what looked like a bed sheet, hung above the main door.

"I've finally got the counting," Thorian continued, "So I'm not going to give up on the reeling and righting. I'm going to get the hang of this. I know they are words that stay so I'm going to stay with them."

"A laudable goal, Sir Thorian," Eryale stated as she reached them, Estella trailing in her wake, "And one that should be encouraged. If however, you find that in the end you have not the energy or the time to pursue your studies then may I recommend the art of pictograms."

"What are pict-o-grams?" Thorian asked with a frown.

"Gestures that stay," Eryale explained as they made their way up to the main door, "Writing is words that stay, pict-o-grams are gestures that stay. Think of it as this - if you met one of your race from half way across the world then you might not speak the same language so you won't know each other words but if he held out a spear you'd know that he was dangerous, whereas if he held out a piece of food you'd know that he came in peace. Well a pictogram is the hand that holds out the food, or the spear, carved down on something harder than air so that it stays for longer."

"Now that is an idea," Thorian nodded slowly, "But what does it mean, that up there?" He pointed up at the banner above the door.

"It says," Eryale's veil twitched with her smile, "Nibbles and Nee, who are the owners and chief cooks of this establishment." At the word cooks Thorian's stomach unleashed a roar that would have put a dragon to shame.

"Well, my good friends," Ulrich smiled, "Shall we partake of the vittles on offer in this establishment?"

"If Jeremiah goes first," Kaelin folded her arms. Jeremiah gave her a long look but Kaelin didn't back down, staring back with a blank expression until he smiled, or at least grimaced.

"Of course I shall go first, my dear Kaelin, if you are feeling too weak to cross the threshold first," he said and turned to step through the door.

"He's monster bait," Estella whispered to Eryale, "He burnt one of my talismans to ash the first night I met him just to see what would happen, if it would damage me as well, so they use him as a... shield to make sure the next room is safe for all of them."

"Ah," Eryale did not need to say more as they followed Jeremiah into the light of the interior.

Once inside the King's Special stopped and their mouths dropped open. After a short room that seemed to be a sort of lobby and collecting area for the cloak room the atrium opened up. They couldn't help but stand and gorp. Kaelin turned her head sharply as they were about to step through and saw Peter through the cloak room door as the centipede burying his face in a dish of what seemed to be mince, while Weatherall picked a ham apart with delicate motions of his claws, chewing the tiny morsels he fed into his mouth. The goturi were also trying to convince the vigor to eat and were obviously puzzled by its lack of responses.

The atrium was ablaze with light, the shining sparkle of the mass of crystal hanging from the ceiling, bouncing and reflecting from massive polished sheets of metal that were hammered to the wall except for the floor to ceiling mural that hadn't just been painting there but first built up and sculpted from textured clay so that it really was three dimensional.

"I recognize that," Kaelin stated, "That was carved outside that temple place where the spider dragon was hatching."

It was indeed that image of the Ash Elves kneeling before the figure rising from the waves but here it was not just Ash Elves but many different races and peoples. Elves of many different types, humans of multiple hues, orcs and a united front of dwarfs with only minor differences that showed where they might one day divide along the lines of dwarfs and dwergs.

Motion behind them made Kaelin turn to see Quenril and his kin on their knees before the picture.

"The Begetters," Sabal whispered.

"I reckon this city is older, older than anything else we have come across," Ulrich concluded, "Something to tell your grand children then."

"Indeed," Quenril agreed as the Ash Elves came back to their feet, struggling to tear their eyes from the image. It inside of the room was slightly better than the outside for not pulling at the eyeballs with out of level geometry but there was the slightly nagging feeling that it was in fact bigger on the inside than the outside and that the windows didn't quite line up with their other faces on the outside of the building. Round the edge of the room, though a clear space had been left in front of the mural, the goturi had added their own tables. Jeremiah frown, puzzled as to wear they could have possibly gathered the wood from because it was most definitely wood and not that inferior sedum stuff that the dwergs used. The goturi were clustering around the tables, chattering away about the challenge, some with drinks already in hand and the King's Special received may toasts as they crossed the room. The atrium was separated from the main hall by an open arch that once again tested the eyes with that feeling of just being slightly... off, as if there were too many angles in the corners to add up to the whole, like a triangle that added up to a hundred and ninety degrees rather than the one hundred and eighty that it should have been.

The main hall was even bigger than the atrium, as expected but it was also slightly darker, mostly because the large amounts steam and smoke curling through the air. The center of the room was a complicated mass of, well, it would have been an alter, perhaps, maybe, if it had been a single block but instead it was a branching maze of what should have been rectangles if they didn't give the eyes the feeling that they were made out of three and a half sides each. The goturi, in their wisdom had decided to alter these into a collection of work tops and cupboard-less sideboards, brazers and bronze fire pits on sturdy legs dotted at corners with griddles and grills over the top of them, some loaded with long skewers of meat sizzling in the heat while others had pans and pots stood basking in the heat of the flames. Above this chefs paradise a structure that the goturi seemed to have built themselves, barrels and cupboards and other methods of storing food, somehow stuck to the ceiling and forming a ring about the kitchen to capture the smoke and prevent its soot from coating the rest of the room, an impromptu chimney funnel to improve the function of any gap up in the ceiling.

Thorian frowned. It looked like the goturi had stuck the whole hanging mess together with some sort of fabric but that couldn't be right. He peered harder but then there was a grinding noise and a slightly tubby goturi trundled into view, riding a short ladder that slid on a set of railings that ran the length of the top and bottom of the 'kitchen' counter.

"Good day, Lady Eryale," he chirruped, "I hear that we are in need of a feast today. I hear that someone finally broken Matron Lots-see winning streak. Do I hear right?"

"You do," her veil twitched with that hidden smile.

"Oh weeeeeee!" he crowed, clapping his hands before kicking off on his ladder, stirring a pot as he went passed, flavoring a bubbling pan and flipping the contents of a frying pan as he came to a stop, chatting all the time about what dishes he planned to make to make this momentous occasion. The fact that there seemed to be enough food to feed an army already on the go didn't seem to disturb him one little bit as he came speeding back, flicking a ten inch cooks knife that seemed absolutely massive in his hand out of a knife block as he speed passed.

"This is going to be epic!" he concluded as he came to a stop back at where he had begun and started chopping a pile of leeks so fast that it was a miracle that he didn't remove his fingers.

"That is quite a marvelous device," Ulrich observed, looking at the mobile ladder and its rails.

"Oh necessity, good sir, necessity only," the goturi cook beamed, "After all, if the world doesn't fit, you make alterations." He scrapped off the leeks into a large shallow dish and then seized a grater and a block of cheese, scrapping a thick covering of the orange nut cheese all over the top of the vegetables before seasoning with a flourish. Small as he was, it seemed that he was in absolute heaven in the kitchen.

Kaelin meanwhile was sniffing suspiciously at a rake of skewers. Well they were meat and they weren't human at least. She could have told if they were human. The memories that were tied to that knowledge tried to bubble up, making her mouth twist. Her grandfather had a lot to answer for, such a lot to answer for.

Thorian pocked a pot and received a face full of steam for his trouble but then a stream of goturi started hurrying forward and grabbing plates for a pile at one end, one of the many ends of the maze of counter tops, lining up as the cook continued his preparations and started dishing finished food on to the great severing platters.

"Grubs up!" Thorian guessed and grabbed a plate as well. Kaelin snatched the next one, joining the line behind him.

"I'll be leaving you," Eryale inclined her head, lifting a hand to the front of her veil, "Due to this I prefer to eat in private where fewer accidents are likely to happen. I promise that you will be in good hands."

"I do not doubt that at all, my good lady," Ulrich bowed to her, "And may I say again that we are truly grateful for the chance to enjoy your hospitality and the hospitality of your people."

"You are most welcome," she inclined her head, "Although your... large friend maybe not so much so."

"He..." Ulrich struggled to be polite, "He is attempting to earn his redemption."

"If he is worshiping that one then I doubt the attempt is sincere," Eryale said gravely before turning to leave as more goturi crowded in. Ulrich turned to fetch a plate to find that said large friend had already beat him to it, with Estella standing beside Kaelin.

"I am definitely ready for this," Jeremiah grinned, thick fingers holding the plate.

"Well," Ulrich joined the line despite some misgivings, "I'd be called a donkey if I refused."

"You're a donkey anyway," Thorian called back.

"The wrong end of the donkey at that," Kaelin observed, remembering one of the insults from the challenge.

Ulrich rolled his eyes and then started picking over the dishes that were on offer. Once they had a full plateful each they found themselves being guided to the table closest to the kitchen area.

"So why were you not there to help us with the challenge?" Jeremiah asked Estella, insinuating that she had somehow done something that had given her favorable treatment.

"The goturi were born from dragon blood," she replied as they sat down, "Dragon blood and goblin stock, magically combined to try and make a race that were stronger than goblins but easier to control than dragons. It appears that a dragon later released them from the slavery they suffered at the hand of their creator. They do not forget their debt to the dragons so as I have a certain passenger, well, they weren't going to make me go through the indignity of the challenge. Valodrael's a little upset about that, he would have enjoyed verbally sparing like that but I suppose it would have been unfair as the champion wold have been unwillingly to insult him back."

"It seems you had quite a talk with our serpent haired hostess," Jeremiah could some how sneer without showing it on his face.

"It was quite interesting," Estella picked out the first titbit she fancied sampling, "It seems that they were made, most likely by an apprentice of the lich who created the orc-crossbreeds."

"You what?" Thorian asked, while Jeremiah choked into his salad.

"It appears that they were created by an apprentice of the lich who created the orc crossbreeds," Estella repeated, "Yes, according to our 'serpent haired hostess', it appears that all that talk of orc crossbreeds coming from... despicable acts between orcs and human women is just that - talking and nothing more. Bad talk at that. The orc crossbreed forefathers were created, magically, from human stock and orc blood to create a race that were stronger than humans but easier to cow than orcs. Well eventually a tomb dragon noticed that there was a civilization that it could bring to its knees hiding done in the Underworld and it did just that, giving the orc crossbreeds just enough so that they could escape, cutting their way through the dwarfs in the process and setting off the bad blood between them."

"Yeah," Thorian rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, that wasn't the best thing we could have done."

"So the big bad evil guys apprentice tried the same trick over but with goblin stock and dragon blood?" Ulrich asked, "Let me guess, he was surprised too when he creations decided that they didn't fancy hanging around?"

"Are you surprised?" Estella asked.

"Not really," Kaelin admitted through a mouthful, "Evil doesn't seem to have much of a brain and its never as clever as it thinks it is."

They dug into the offerings in front of them. There was certainly a fair amount of different meat dishes on offer but there were also root vegetables and pastries and pies. Thorian was half way through a plate of glazed rib pieces before he stopped inhaling long enough to try the fried chips, Quenril favoring a dish of what looked like octopus tentacles and chopped mushrooms. Despite her misgivings over what the meat could be Kaelin found the omelette acceptable, particularly partnered with the dish roast leeks while Estella tucked into what could have been sticky fried jointed chicken wings. Jeremiah besides his salad that he had built up behind a rampart of lettuce leaves, devoured half a roast rabbit without any difficulty, while Ulrich sampled the fish steaks that had been delicately broiled. Sabal settled for a cheese based roast vegetable dish while Tasnar favored liver and onions.

"My compliments to the chef," Ulrich called part way through the meal, "I must say, Mister Nibble and Nee that your cooking is exemplary and I will be more than happy to sing your praises to any others who ask me for advise as to where to eat."

Strangely enough Mister Nibble and Nee laughed as he continued to chop and stir and baste his creations.

"Bless your heart, good sir," he grinned as he tossed the contents of a frying pan, "I thank you for the praise but I am just Nibble, plain old Nibble. Nee is my partner. She handles the stores for me."

"And where is this brilliant partner of yours then?" Ulrich asked, after he had swallowed his mouthful.

"She's up there," Nibble pointed upwards with his carving fork before going back to work on the joint he was slicing, "As I said she minds the stores. Hey, Nee, have you found that stuff I asked for?"

"Just a moment," a female voice called back from within the funnel of storage containers. Ulrich craned side ways to catch a glimpse and then his eyes went wide as he saw her swinging from box to barrel to crate, muttering to herself as she fetched.

"Coming down!" the voice called and then she came swinging down, arms full of produce and back legs controlling her decent, flipping, twirling and swinging her in the tight loops of a high flying rope dancer in the most famous big top in the world as her front legs where also occupied with holding on to the needed supplies.

"There we go," she smiled, hanging upside down above the counter tops, her long, ash white braid inches from Nibbles nose as she set down the bundles and packets and boxes, "More dried giant mushroom, bear claws, thyme, rosemary, eggs, parsnips, turnips, taters, beetroot, flour, kidney aaaaaaand steaks, delicately smoked. The butter and lard you are going to have to fetch yourself from the cold store."

"And I have told you to keep your hair away from the counter tops," Nibble twitched the end of her braid with a smile on his muzzle.

"Oh come on," she flipped herself the right way up on her line of silk, eight legs drawing it tight in a cats cradle design, "How else am I supposed to show off to our guests? I did hear the chatter while I was up there, it wasn't like you were keeping your voices down."

Nee was most definitely short for Arachne and Kaelin did wonder if the Ash Elves were all going to expire on the spot as the half Ash Elf female, half wolf spider centaur thing turned her face towards them. Kaelin was of the opinion that this one was at least half way easy on the eyes as she didn't have the bloated appearance of the one they had come across before, when they had discovered they had spent most of the first day in the Underworld going in a circle.

"Erm, have you ever heard of a friendly one among the Disgraced. I believe you called them that yesterday?" Ulrich spoke quietly from the side of his mouth as Nibble distracted her for a moment with a sample from a dish he was preparing.

Quenril swallowed, winced as it stuck and took a swallow of the drink that had been poured out for them, swilling it around his mouth before he swallowed, trying to wet his tongue and giving himself a chance to think of an answer.

"I suppose there is a first for everything," he admitted at last.

"Never any campfire tales?" Ulrich asked for clarification, "Never any..."

Quenril was shaking his head and Tasnar clutched his brother's arm as Nee wandered towards them, eight furry feet dabbing soundlessly across the pale stone of the floor as she tugged her tight, black leather vest straight and smoothed her hair back. Ulrich stood and bowed from the waist.

"Hello there, Lady Nee," he stated, "May I introduce myself? I am Ulrich Brekka of the House of Brekka and chosen of Lady Silvra. These are the good Lady's brothers and cousin, who have accompanied us under their sister's directions and have granted us their knowledge of the Underworld."

"Oh Snake Clan," Lady Nee smiled, "Oh that explains everything. I will admit that it has been a while since I bothered to wander home. After I found here, I have to confess that I just lost interest in all the nastiness at the Citadel. Just how are the Clans doing these days? Still trying to murder each other when they are not looking?"

The three Ash Elves were mute, eyes wide faces pale, obviously waiting for the pleasant mask to drop.

"I'm not entirely sure as to what you are referring too..." Ulrich hazarded.

"Well you definitely didn't grow up down here," Nee smiled even more widely, revealing the swiveling fangs of a spider but her tone was pleasant, "Trust me, the if the Clans aren't trying to murder each other then they are just scheming up a new plan to score one higher. It's why I left, I got sick of all the back stabbing and having to watch over my shoulder all the time. I've always been too nice for my own good." She shrugged a shapely shoulder and flicked her braid down her back. She saw him looking. "Oh yeah, its also why I wound up like this." She ran her hands down to where her body transitioned to being a spider. "As I said, too nice for my own good, finally saw a male I like the look of, only turned out my sister wanted him as well and she could play the game a lot more nasty than I could. Played her game, cast her net and I'm the one caught in it. Still the one I feel really sorry for was Imbros, sister always threw her toys away after she got bored of them so he's probably not in a good spot right now."

 "I take it Imbros was the male you were interested in?" Ulrich asked carefully.

"Oh yes and despite everything that happened afterwards I get to hold on to one bit of joy," Nee smiled and Ulrich smiled back, inviting her to continue, "I got him first!"

"Oh," Ulrich played along, chuckling, "And I guess your sisters didn't know?"

"Didn't suspect a thing," Nee's smile had a wicked edge, "So one to me."

"Seems a bit of a steep price to pay for scoring that one over her," Kaelin observed.

"Oh come on," Nee rolled her eyes, "Allow me to keep one bit of pride after I lost everything else." Quenril and his relatives stared, obviously expecting an angry response to Kaelin's point, not the half joking shake of the head.

"So how did you find this city of marvels?" Ulrich smiled, back meeting her eyes. She looked at him and an expression crossed her face, very similar to the one that Lady Zilvra had worn the first time he had meet her gaze.

"It seems that people find this place when they need to," she admitted, "I wanted out of a place that rejected me but wouldn't let me go. The goturi needed a place they could call home while they organized their society and learnt how to make a place for themselves without getting stepped on before they even started. Eryale needed people who weren't going to start screaming and running the moment they saw her. The whole place seems to be a city of refugees, even those who are just passing through and need a rest break. I sometimes wonder this place calls them in some how." She pursed her mouth.

"That would be your area of expertise," Kaelin flicked a pea across the table at Jeremiah. He scowled at her.

"Am I missing something?" Nee frowned, causing a very pretty little fold between her eyebrows.

"You mean other than that Jeremiah has the direct line to the Great Hereafter, the afterlife, the occult and the ibbly gribbly mumbo jumbo thingime bobs," Kaelin wiggled her fingers and rolled her eyes. Jeremiah closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. One day he was going to make this pack of ingrates respect him.

"Well, preacher man?" Kaelin asked, "You getting any feeling for something in this city calling people to it?"

He opened one eye and glared at her but after a moment he closed it. Despite his best wishes, her suggestion of something calling people into the city had pecked his interest as it spoke of a power that could be truly ancient, ancient and intoxicating if he could harness it and bend it to his will.

After a moment he sighed and shook his head.

"I sense no power source within the city," he admitted, struggling to hide his disappointment, "If there is any power here it is merely that of location and the personal guidance of the gods."

"I don't know if that reassures me or worries me," Nee admitted and then shrugged, "But never mind, we've managed so far, I'm sure we'll continue."

"It does surprise me that you have so much produce in storage," Ulrich cast a quick eye towards the funnel of the goturi's stores. The first impression had been correct, they were held in place by fabric, a woven net of spider silk, each strand as thick as a cable. The sheer strength was staggering. "May I ask how you manage to grow them without the light of the sun?"

"Oh we don't grow them down here," Nee smiled, "We get them from the surface."

"The surface?" Ulrich blinked, "Your people manage to travel between here and the surface regularly?"

"And that is surprising because?" Nee asked, eight feet fidgeting a little, one leg rubbing her spider back where a bubble bursting in a pot and splashed her fur. Ulrich looked at Quenril and raised his eyebrows. Before he could verbally ask Quenril shook his head slightly, flicking a nervous glance at Nee.

"It surprises me because the Ash Elves had no idea your people were down here in the Underworld," he admitted, "It surprises me that with your bright colors you managed to remain hidden from detection with parties having to regularly travel between the two."

"Oh I see," she smiled again, "And you miss understand, the foraging parties don't go through the Underworld. As you say that would just run too much risk of them bumping into unfriendly parties. They go through the doorways."

"The doorways?" Ulrich inquired.

 "Yeah," Nee smiled, looping a line of silk through her hands and fashioning a knot at the end of it, "The doorways. Their an old artifact that the goturi found in this place. Some how, and don't ask me how because I wasn't there at the time, they managed to activate one without blowing the whole place up and once they had done it once they managed to do it again. As to the places beyond them, well, some are definitely on Hestia as it is how they trade their hunting and crafting skills to gain what they can't make themselves. Others, might be on totally different worlds or maybe they are on this world but in a totally different time. I still can't make up my mind on the that one but the goturi are brilliant hunters so it doesn't seem to matter to them and they are not wasteful so..." She spread her hands.

"Hey Nee," Nibbles called, "I need the ingredients for my extra special, super duper fruit  punch."

"On it," Nee called over her shoulder. Such a shapely shoulder, it was such a shame about what had happened to her below the waist. "Have to go, the help is needed." She winked at them all and turned, whirling her line of silk and unleashing it at the funnel of the goturi's storage area. It struck and stuck and she was shimmying up the line before the eyes were really sure that it was secure, eight legs surprisingly graceful as she disappeared up into the thick atmosphere of the storage area, where smoke and steam hid her.

"Phew," Ulrich said as he sat down again and picked up his eating irons, "Well that's something I never thought I'd see after reading Risgath's book, a friendly Disgraced."

"It seems that even among us we have always assumed wrong," Quenril admitted, "We always thought that they were driven mad by falling so far and to be a male around one was akin to a death sentence as their hatred was driven to a frenzy by a reminder of what they had lost."

"Seems the wheel turns and in turn turns more wheels," Tasnar admitted shakily and then stabbed at something on his plate to distract himself from the fact his hands were shaking.

"Yeah, well," Kaelin was doing a fair impression of a mincing machine on her food, "What happens when you live underground, you forget how to change your minds."

Ulrich winced as she spoke through a mouthful of food and pushed a knife and fork across the table top towards her.

"My dear, could you please avail yourself of the flat wear," he grimaced, "You have no need to prove how depraved your father's house was, we are already well aware of it."

Kaelin swallowed and picked up the fork by the prongs, turning it first up and then down as if studying it. Ulrich sighed and shook his head, lowering his eyes to his plate. The fork whipped passed his ear, liking end over end until it sank, with a sharp thud, the whole length of the pongs into a wooden pillar. Her look was a challenge as she locked eyes with Ulrich.

"Well, that was just rude," a slightly high pitched voice spoke. Kaelin snapped her glance to her flung fork, convinced the voice had come from there.

"My dear Kaelin," Ulrich tried to convince her to at least try, "We are in public. As much as we all know and have come to accept you atrocious lack of table manners, we are with strangers and it would give said strangers a much better impression of the quality of the King's Special if you didn't cover the table cloth with your leavings. If nothing else it is a waste of food."

Kaelin sighed and rolled her eyes, picking up her knife as she gave in just this once. The knife folded in half and when she waved it the blade wobbled like a piece of cooked spaghetti or maybe a length of string. She looked at Ulrich with a cocked eyebrow.

"I trust my hands," she stated, "Bite me."

The knife bit her.

"Yow!" Kaelin squawked, tugging at it and flinging it down by Ulrich's plate when its teeth let go of her skin. It turned into a large, green, speckled caterpillar and trundled off across the table top.

"Oh Kaelin," Ulrich shook his head sadly, "Look at what you have done; you've insulted the knife."

"That was not a knife," Kaelin snapped, nursing her bitten finger, "I've flogged silver wear, I know a knife and that was not a knife." She grabbed her meat with her hands and bit down on it. It let loose a a long, mournful, discordant honk. She stared at it in disbelief. It had turned into a rubber chicken. She looked round to have words with Nibble about the quality of his produce and realized that the Grand Hall was suddenly disturbingly quiet - they were the only ones in there.

"Um guys," she said, looking around at the suddenly empty seats, "We may have trouble."

"Woof, woof," agreed Jeremiah. Everyone goggled at him.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrr, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, woof, woof, bawk!" he stated.

Kaelin picked up her plate and sniffed. It just seemed to be omelette but she suddenly had a bad feeling that it had been spiced with something other than the usual herbs.

As Kaelin sniffed at her food, Thorian turned his head and stared. A small, pink pony had just bounced through the wall on the far side of the room. Her mane and tail were a startling puff of curls and she had the bluest eyes he'd ever seen in a living creature's face. There also seemed to be some sort of tattoo emblazoned on her flank but he couldn't make out what it was as she bounced towards them. It really was a bounce, all four pink hooves off the floor at once and Thorian's ears twitched as he swore he heard the sounds of coiling and uncoiling springs. She stopped by their table, jogging on the spot as she stared at them.

"Come on silly billies," she admonished them in a high voice, "You're going to miss the party! Come on!" She bounced off across the room and plunged into the other wall, which didn't even ripple. Thorian stared and then sat back. After a moment he tried to slap himself to see if he could wake up. He received a custard pie to the face, a custard pie that hadn't been in his hand a moment before.

"It's Lucy in the sky with diamonds," Kaelin sang off key, leaning dangerously far back on the bench and spreading her arms wide. Estella laughed so hard she had tears rolling down her face.

"That ruddy Nee has poisoned us," Thorian slammed his fists down on the table, his fork stabbing into his wrist. His whole body juddered, his eyes rolling wildly, his teeth clamping shut, the tips of his ears smoking until Estella slid her plate across the table to knock the fork out of contact.

"Wow," Thorian gasped, when he had managed to catch his breath, "That was tingly."

"Do you feel better then," Ulrich stared at him as the pink polka dots dance over his skin.

"No, no Aye don't feel better," Thorian huffed, "I don't feel better at all." He stamped his feet and the loudest, ripest whizzpoppers rang out, making the grand hall ring like a church bell. Thorian looked down to see that his boots had become whoopee cushions. He frowned and screwed up his face, not impressed at all. With a roar he stood and heaved the table into the air, intending to smash it on the ground. It became an elephant that flapped its tiny ears and drifted up into the sky, Thorian dangling below it like the basket of a hot air balloon. He looked down between his feet to see the clouds drifting between him and the multicolored patchwork land below. He decided to hang on.

 "Well hello there, good fellow," a voice said, "You do seem to be rather new here, I must say."

Thorian turned his head and saw something draping itself over the pile of a fluffy white cloud. It was a bizarre amalgamation of several different animals, its stag like head crowned by the curled horns of a ram, its eyes had the slit pupils of a cat, its impossibly long, skinny form rippling through the air as it 'swam' closer to Thorian, its mismatched legs either trailing along its body or drawing invisible symbols in the air as it came closer.

"Indeed, indeed you are new, well this is a turn up for the books," it folded itself in midair like it was sitting on a chair that did not exist, somehow keeping pace with the flying elephant, "It has been quite a while since I've had a new friend. That's the only problem when you are an immortal embodiment of a primeval force; you just get to know someone and puff, they're gone." Six little figurines danced round its claws as it spoke and then with a snap of its fingers they popped into rainbows that wiggled away through the clouds, illustrating its point. It reached inside its ear and pulled out a wand. Jabbing it into a fluffy white cloud it offered it to Thorian.

"Want a taste?" it asked.

"Do yah take me for a fool?" Thorian asked with a grunt. His arms were beginning to get tired.

"Nope," it replied, taking a huge bite out of the cloud, "Just someone with a sweet tooth and I do so love cotton candy that I thought you might like to share." It bite the other half of the cloud and then swallowed the stick for dessert.

"Still no," Thorian grunted.

"Oh well then," the creature swirled in the air, drawing a perfect circle in the air with its body round Thorian so he hung in the middle of it like a picture on the bull's eye, "One has to wonder what do you want, hum?" it asked with its head upside down by Thorian's ear.

"You," Thorian grunted again.

"As you wish," the creature wiggled to an upright position a little way from Thorian and unscrewed its front left foot, the one that looked like an eagle's claw, "Here you are then." It handed Thorian its foot. Thorian took it, looked at it for a moment and then slapped the creature with it. The creature, unattached foot and all, exploded into confetti.

"Huh," Thorian grabbed the elephant with both hands again, "Aye knew he wasn't real." The elephant flapped on, Thorian swinging slowly from side to side below it.

*

 Kaelin watched Thorian swing off below the flying elephant that had been their table half a minute before and sighed. She had actually liked the taste of Nibbles cooking but seeing that it was poisoned there was nothing for it. She gulped a deep breath. She gulped another. After she gulped a third she screwed her eyes shut, clenched her fists, tensed her shoulders and heaved.

She threw up a pack of playing cards.

She tried to speak, she tried to yell but all that came out of her mouth was a load of verbal spaghetti syllables and little white rectangles of card that showered down like a drift of snow. She clamped her teeth together and the blizzard of playing cards stopped. She blinked and felt something in her mouth. She flicked it round with her tongue until it pocked out of her lips where she could see it. It was the ace of spades. She spat it out and tried again.

She threw up a fur-ball.

A great big, brown, fuzzy fur-ball that squeaked and squealed at her, sounding not unlike someone rubbing a damp cloth over a squeaky window, before turning its back and bustling off beneath the grapevines. Kaelin blinked and looked around at the vineyard that now stretched as far as the eye could see.

"Oh I drives my cattle through the vineyard."

 A voice sung in the distance, accompanied by the rattling of cow bells and low, mournful moos.

"Oh I drives my cattle through the vineyard.

Through the vineyard,

Through the vineyard,

Through.

 Oh I drives my cattle through the vineyard,

This here herd of cows,

I herd it through the grapevine."

 Kaelin closed her eyes and lay down on the grass, draping an arm over her eyes, waiting for the merry madness to stop.

"Bah!" the grass told her. Kaelin lifted her arm slightly from her face, looking at the sky.

"Bah!" the grass told her again. She blinked, waiting for it to stop.

"Bah!" it said again. With a sigh Kaelin let her arm drop to her side and looked at the sky. Before the grass could speak again she turned her head and looked.

She was on the back of a white sheep that was so big it felt flat where she lay but its flock mates that flapped around them where most definitely as round as could be. They were almost perfectly round, with four stick thin legs pocking out under neither and a weirdly rounded head with eyes that were definitely off center. It was like someone had taken a child's drawing of a sheep, made it real, made it huge and given it wings, fluffy white wings, so it could fly.

"Seriously?" Kaelin asked, propping herself up on her elbows.

"Bah!" the sheep replied. Kaelin sighed and rolled her eyes but resigned herself to enjoying the view. It was kind of magnificent, the herd beating its way through the sky, apparently eating the wisps of cloud that billowed up from below them, the sun shining in a vault of sky that was a blue so intense that it looked artificial. The breeze blew her hair back from her face.

A shadow crossed over her.

Kaelin looked up in time to see a massive black dragon, who hide was speckled with swirling nebula drop from the heavens, mouth gaping wide.

Valodrael's maw crashed into one of the outliers of the flock and with a startled bah it vanished, Valodrael plunging on into the cloud as the mass of the gigantic sheep rolled down his gullet.

"Did you have to do that?" Estella yelled from where she was crouched on the back of his neck, arms wrapped round the girth of one of his six horns, fingers not able to reach half way round.

"I did mention that  I was becoming hungry, did I not?" his voice rumbled up though her legs, "And you have already had dinner. I have to find my own where I can." What could have been a drawn sheep face bulged beneath his hide but then sank out of sight as he slowly pulled his straight drop dive into a shallower angle, bursting through the cloud base to reveal a rolling ocean, the ripples of waves miles long rolling on and on.

With a whinny the Kirin talisman galloped to join them, only now it wasn't a small carved wood figurine, it was a full sized stallion that galloped at Valodrael's shoulder, its hooves shining in the air and its mane streaming in the wind. Estella stared and smiled as she realize that all her talismans were with them, even the purple frog, kicking its legs in the air as if it was swimming in a deep pool and singing, its voice that sounded like a violin shivering in the air.  The air warmed as they dropped lower and lower until, when she craned to look down Estella could see Valodrael's shadow chasing over the wave tops. The seagulls rose to meet them, crying their haunting call. Valodrael grinned and dove to meet them, his vast size shrinking to something more swift and nibble, Estella now sitting comfortably astride his neck as his wings rose and fell in great sweeps, racing the talismans that rode on his wing tips. Estella leaned forward, opened mouthed as ahead a landscape of white topped mountains, some of them rising directly out of the rolling swell of the ocean came into view.

"Settle back," Valodrael instructed.

"Settle back?" Estella asked. Valodrael turned his head slightly so she could see his grin.

"Settle back and grip with your knees," he instructed.

"Okay," Estella hazarded, sliding further down his short for a dragon neck until she was wedged against his shoulders, "Em if I grip too hard..."

"You can't and I would suggest you hang on," he straightened his neck, still grinning.

"Hang on to wha..." she grabbed two of his horns as he went into a straight up climb, wings thumping with effort, sea birds left far below as they raced for the heavens, clouds coming closer again, talismans trailing behind them.

"Oh whoa hoa!" Estella laughed, "Whoa hoa! This is awesome!"

She lifted one hand, reaching up, stretching beyond his head, trying to touch the clouds.

"Ready?" Valodrael called.

"Ready for what?" Estella asked with a frown. Still grinning Valodrael leveled for a second and then tilted forward, folding his wings.Estella's laugh became a long drawn out yell that was ripped from her mouth and trailed behind them as they plummeted towards the ocean. Estella squealed as the blue thundered towards them.

There was a mountain, rushing up towards them.

"Val?" she asked.

The mountains needle like point surged towards them.

"Val?" she called.

Any second the mountain was going to impale them.

"Val!" she yelled.

With a solid boom, his wings crack wide, membranes straining, the air compressing as white streaks off the wing tips. Valodrael laughed as his wing bones creaked with the effort to take the wicked pressure then he flicked a wing finger and what had been a breaking drive became a thunderous surge forward, whipping them across the wave tops. Estella drew the breath to scream and then they were among the sea mounts, solid rock rushing passed so fast that it was seen only as flickers of grey, the air roaring in the ears as it was compressed by the speed of their passage. There was no time to think, no time to decided, all she could do was hold on and lean with his motion. Right through the gap. Left, skim the rock surface so close his claws struck sparks. Right, through the surge of spray. Left, the air booming as it ripped over his wings.  Left again, Estella hugging close to his neck, gasping, not quite screaming, not quite cheering. Right, solid rock ahead!

He rolled fully over and pulled up and they were over, wings opening into the down beat again to carry them up and now Estella let go that long held breath as a cheer that echoed the roar that thundered up his throat, her arms held wide to the world and the sun and the sea.

She leaned forward again and took hold of his horns, laughing a juddering, gasping laugh as the terror and exhilaration back washed through her, making her muscles twitch. They rose on an up swell of air that carried them up and over the head land and then they were gliding over expanses of green, the ground rolling beneath them with the shaggy look of a forest rather than cultivated fields. Ahead the land rose again, a waterfall spilling through the narrow gap between two hills that had ambitions to become mountains and then they threaded the gap and a high cold lake was spread out below them. Valodrael glided over the water, swooping until his could lower his back feet and drag his talons through the surface sending up a long kick of spray. A school of large fish leapt from the water head of them, chased by his shadow into the shallows and now leaping to avoid the bow wave they felt coming. Valodrael snapped and Estella leaned back, sitting up on his neck so he could flick his neck back and forth until he got the fish positioned right. Its slippery length vanished out of sight.

"I still say your sin is gluttony," Estella remarked. 

"My sin?" he asked, "Just the one? Personally I'm a fan of all seven." He grinned, tilting his wings into the barest back wing necessary to bring them into land as she giggled. With one last boom he folded his wings and rustled them flat, the talismans landed softly around them, some nickering and blowing their disapproval of the risks Valodrael had taken with their mother.

"Still speeding hither and tither," a quiet voice observed, "You haven't changed old friend."

Estella looked round as she stepped on to the back of Valodrael's held up wrist and then to the ground. Someone stood watching them. Estella knew she was short compared to many people, barely making the five foot mark but this one was shorter than she was, yet much wider, barrel chested and girthy as well. His stripped muzzle was smiling at them from beneath his hat of woven straw, walking staff held in one broad paw.

"Sheng Tie," Valodrael bowed his head to the badger standing there in green robes; Estella copied the gesture.

"It has been some time," Sheng Tie bowed back, greeting the Void Dragon as if he was an old friend, "I did always wonder what you would look like as your own person, though you still seem incomplete."

Estella turned her head and stared as Valodrael looked down at his own chest to follow Tie's gaze. Estella put her hand to her mouth.

Valodrael's chest was an empty, gaping ruin, ribs snapped off where they should have rooted to the keel of his breast bone, a dark cavity that seethed with ruinous powers that were not energy but rather their opposite.

"Ah," Valodrael noted, "I've never seen that before but it rather explains why being without a host becomes so painful." He lifted a hand and dipped his fingers into the churning maelstrom. His claws withered and flaked, drifting to an ash that faded from sight. He took his paw away and after a while his claws regrew.

"What was done to you should not have been done," Sheng Tie observed gravely, "But since it has been done we must now learn how to deal with it. Come, the tea is ready."

He turned and lead them across the threshold of the temple that had not been there a moment ago. Out of curiosity Estella followed him, Valodrael pacing along at her shoulder, now the size of a Clydesdale draft horse, the lines of perspective bending around him, still giving the impression that he was a much larger creature seen at a far distance.

Sheng Tie sent down his staff and the pack he'd had slung on his back and then sat cross legged on the mat in the garden, Estella sitting seiza style across from him, Valodrael laying cat style beside her, the talismans exploring the grounds of the temple. Sheng Tie lifted the tea pot off of its little stand and poured tea into the cups that had no handles. Setting the pot back on the stand he waited until Estella and Valodrael had picked up their cups but they waited until he had drank first.

"You have been trained in good manners," Sheng Tie complimented Estella. She looked first at the temple, with its upturned corners and its pillars of cedar wood, its elaborate gate posts standing strong, every joust and beam held together, not with nails or pins but with cleverly carved joints so that when the earth moved below them the roof would not fall.

"I believe that I come from a society that has many of the same values," she said at last.

"Not enough," Valodrael muttered into his tea, tongue lapping slowly at the hot, honey sweetened liquid.

"I see," Sheng Tie observed, his dark eyes gentle, "So you are one of the children of the Astral All Father. I did wonder about trying to visit that land but I decided that I had no ready wish to live the last of my life in a cage as an oddity to be stared at. I had to leave visiting that land to my good friend Valodrael."

"It took a while longer than I had planned it to," the dragon admitted, "But I must say that the company has been worth the wait." He smiled at Estella from the corner of his eye, the gleam of dying supernova shining with something a lot more lively that such things usually are. Estella looked away after a moment, a blush rising in her cheeks.

"So you are another willing host for our strange friend," Sheng Tie smiled, "I am a nosy old badger, would you mind telling me the story."

"I..." Estella hesitated, looking deeply into her tea cup and taking a sip, "It starts with my talismans." She began. 

*

Ulrich sighed as Thorian flew off hanging on to a flying elephant and Kaelin spat a stream of nonsense and disappeared in a storm of playing cards.

"I am surrounded by peasants," he observed as he finished his dinner. Having cleared his plate he pushed back from the table and fall over backwards into water as he chair disappeared below him. For a moment he struggled as the chill closed about him and the bubbles obscured his sight and then the waters cleared as he sank further down and he realized that despite being completely immersed water he was still breathing.

"Well, this is marginally interesting," he noted as he sank further down towards the sea bed that was decorated with branches and pillows of some strange type of tropical plants. Their bright patterns and varied forms gave Ulrich the impression of his father's carefully landscaped gardens. He settled cross legged on the sea bed, looking round at the dancing shoals of sprats that fluttered among the sea flowers like butterflies in the world above the waters. The shoals suddenly burst away as a larger darker shape swim out of the gloom of the sea horizon. Her shoulders were dark blue while her belly was pale, blending into the water around her, eyes as dark as deep, deep pools, the gills running down her sides rather than her neck, the openings through which she took in water in the triangle formed by the base of her neck, her collar bones and her shoulder blades. Her tail was long and flat like an eels with a tall dorsal sail, rippling as it drove her through the water. She turned as she swam passed Ulrich, her webbed hands spreading wide to stop her in the brine, her hair like a mass of dark tentacles, spiraling in the water like the arms of a sea anemone.

"Hi sailor," her voice was low, melodic.

"Well I say, what cheek!" Ulrich exclaimed, "I'll bally well have you know that I am not one of the rank and file!" He sat and pout as she drifted in the water, looking at him from every angle, "If, ma'am, I was so inclined to take to the brine way of life then I would be a captain, a captain and a monarch of the King's Navy! Yes I would, I..."

He stopped as the main sail boomed and bellied above his head, the prow rearing high over a swell to crash back down with a splash of spray. On the deck, sailors in blue and white scurried and hurried to make sure that the deck was swabbed, the rigging clean and the ropes coiled in their proper places. Ulrich looked about himself noticing that his executive officer was handing a matter of discipline in a timely manner, and that the course heading was on being monitored in a timely manner, as the breeze played with the ruffles on his tricorn. All seemed to be in order.

"Land Ho!" the cry came down from the crows nest, "Land Ho!"

There was an immediate surge of activity from the men as they tried to catch a glimpse of the promised land before the bosun had them back to work. Ulrich stepped to the railing and raised his telescope to his eye.

The island with twin peaks loomed out of the mist, solemnly looking back at Ulrich. He frowned, looked at his telescope, shook it and raised it to his eye again.

The island looked back again, its many eyes rolling in the flesh at the edge of its shell, the tendril like feelers between them waving in the air as its shell cracked open further, the ocean roaring into a cataract as it was pulled by the force of gravity itself, pouring down into the clams gaping maw.

"All hands to battle stations!" Ulrich commanded.

"All hands to battle stations!" the bosun bellowed and the crew jumped to work in a blink, their moment of paralyses broken, feet thundering on the deck, the executive officer handing out fire arms, sailors running down the forward hatch to the gun deck, from which rumbled the sound of the long guns being primed and loaded.

"Mister Barrel," Captain Ulrich called.

"Yes sir?" the pilot at the wheel asked.

"Take us in full speed," Captain Ulrich ordered.

"Aye aye Sir!" the pilot snapped and swung the wheel, holding the ship steady as the current took them.

"Hold the fire," Ulrich called as the shadow of the clam loomed over them, its madly rolling eyes watching them in turn.

"Hold the fire!" the executive called down the hatch.

"Hold fire!" a voice echoed up, even as the hatches were pulled open and the cannons heaved into place.

The ship rocked below them as the waves turned white and roared, the lips of the clam towering over the top most spar of the mast. As the gloom of its interior closed about them there came a gut churning rumbling sound that made the deck shiver beneath their feet, the shell of the clam beginning to close.

"Fire!" Ulrich ordered.

"Fire!" the executive officer snapped.

"Fire!" the voice from below roared and the cannons thundered, the sharp crack of the rifles on deck snapping out as well and the clam burned, burned up, burned away, some areas turning dark, others bubbling, some shining through bright white. The white spread, the bubbling running before it until it all turned white and bleed away.

"And that it how the brave men of the HMS Attirement, under my brave and inspiration leadership, defeated the Giant Clam of Agamemnon and cleared the sea passage of the Iliad for the safe passage of trade and travel through the Lazuli Sea," proclaimed Ulrich, standing on the prow of the scenery boat as the gas lights flooded the stage with light, "They held their nerve through thick and thin and responded most fortuitously to my good sense and clear orders, never once shirking their duty as good sailors to the King, while I, with great bravery and stead fast courage lead them through the darkest order and out into the light of success and fortune. Thus did I win myself the name of Baron Ulrich of the kingdom of Portasia and gods bless his Majesty."

The audience of crabs rose to their many feet, crashing their claws together in wonder and awe at Ulrich's skills, his bravery, his abilities, his courage. Lady Zilrva smiled from the royal box and accepted the rose he held up to her.

Quenril hurried through the cramped corridors of some where he didn't recognize. He could hear the voice of his sister's favorite, echoing some where in the building and the rapacious applause that followed. He stumbled to a stop in a irregular shaped room that was more the place where several corridors met than an actual designated room, trying to get a sense of the direction he should be running in. A door opened and Sabal stepped through, sword in hand.

"Have you seen him?" he demanded the moment he saw Quenril.

"No I haven't," Quenril admitted, "I'm not even sure where we are any more."

"When I find him I'm going to gut him for what he has done," Sabal snarled as he let the door swing shut behind him.

"Sabal! We do not threaten the favorite of the Matriarch!" Quenril snapped.

"What?" Sabal looked at him blankly.

"Wait, you weren't speaking of the Matriarch's favorite?" Quenril frowned.

"Of course not!" Sabal protested, "I am not a fool."

They both turned as there was a creak behind them. Tasnar was pushing up a dingy brown painting as if it was a flap.

"Oh hello there," he spotted them and swung him legs through the gaps, letting the painting fall back as he stood, "I don't suppose either of you have seen the old chap." They blinked at him. "Oh sorry, I'm picking up his speech patterns, aren't I?"

"That you are old duckie," a voice called to them, "Annoying little snot nosed brat that he is."

Someone was standing high above them of a catwalk, someone in a sharp suit leaning in a ruby topped walking cane, a glass jar held in their other hand. "Still I don't think the little swot will be causing us any more trouble now that I've sent him back to school." The unknown Ash Elf laughed, his reshaped nose marking him out as a Bat Clan member and shook the jar, causing the tiny figure inside to yell in a barely audible voice and wave its fists, "That's where the jumped up little johnny belongs - in detention."

 "Let him out of there!" Sabal charged up the stairs towards the figure. All three of them plunged through the arch way at the top. Quenril charged along the catwalk and stopped. The Bat Clan Elf had disappeared, as had his kin. He looked around. Tasnar was running along the wall across from him, while Sabal was going up by running down the underside of the staircase above. The three of them saw each other almost at the same time.

"That way!" Tasnar dived through an archway in the floor.

"No it's this way!" Sabal continued to plunge down the stairs. Quenril sighed and ran around the corner of the corridor the catwalk ended at. He plunged down the stairs and then realized that he was running  up the stairs at the bottom of the room, while Tasnar scratched his head in the bottom of a u-shaped trench which was actually the top of an arch and Sabal dived through a doorway that was actually a window.

 There was a strange thrumming and then the Bat Clan member rode passed on, in (?) a carriage that had no animal pulling it but was going impossibly fast, whilst making a noise that could have been produced from a badly played horn but was most definitely rude. The three kin charged after him. The carriage thing drove into a corridor that was made of increasingly smaller black and white squares and cornered to slip through the gap made by two of the black strips. The three kin smashed into the corridor full tilt as it was just a painting on the wall.

Someone cackled with laughter. The Bat Clan Elf was pointing at them and then he shook the jar containing Ulrich at them, turned tucking it into his jacket and took off down the corridor. The three kin scrambled to their collective feet and chased after him, running passed the paintings on the wall without looking at them, which was a mistake as one of the paintings tossed a bunch of bananas into their path. Yelling, they slid down the corridor on their butts, coming to a halt in time to see the Bat Clan Elf jump into one of the black spots that was on the floor.

"Someone care to explain to me what is going on?" Tasnar rubbed his head. They all gaped as they watched Thorian go sailing by overhead, still hanging on to the flying elephant.

Thorian sighed and reached for the speaking tube that was also the elephant's trunk.

"Okay, I'd like to get off now," he called into it. The elephant sailed on but rolled its trunk up and out of reach. "Humph, that's rude," Thorian grumped and looked about him. There didn't seem to be any way down and they seemed to be as high up as ever.

"Oh, oh well," Thorian sniffed and let go.

Five minutes later, Thorian watched the clouds still going passed.

"I'm still falling," he told no one in particular but wondering if who ever was controlling this weird day would hear him and decide to change the scenery because it was becoming really, really boring. His eyes drifted shut. It had been a long day and he could really do with having a nap.

The mushrooms were really tasty, sort of sweet and tangy. He couldn't remember how he'd got here but he hadn't really been full when things had started to go weird so he tucked in with a will.

He woke up in a feather bed. It was literally a feather bed, the mattress one huge feather while another was tucked under his head. It was rather warm and soft and comfortable so he stretched and relaxed into it. Nothing was hurting right now so he wasn't going to put it to the test. After a moment he realized that there was something spinning a web in the top of the canopy, which was also made out of feathers, supported on feathers. Thorian frowned.

The tiny copy of Nee, no bigger than a large grape, finished her web spinning with an elegant flourish and noticed him laying below. She rappelled down a length of silk but halted out of reach, her legs stretching the silk tight to bring her decent to a stop.

"You're not in Kansas away more," she observed, flipping the silk into another configuration, one leg acting as the brake lever.

"Aye don't know where Aye am most of the time any way," Thorian shrugged, not lifting a hand.

"Hum," she flipped over, turning the line of silk into an hour glass shape, "Would you like a map?"

Something roared as it flew over head, the air shaking with its passage. It was long, blunt nosed, metal grey, its wings locked in place. How it flew Thorian couldn't work out 'cause it wasn't a dragon but it was as large as one and made enough noise for one. He shook his head and laid back. He was not going to be worried by anything unexplainable any more. He had obviously eaten something that disagreed with him so, until he was sure that he was fully and completely and really awake, he was not going to worry about it. He shifted again. The bed felt lumpy all of a sudden.

"Ah, a proper bed," Thorian grinned and wriggled again. Maybe things were getting back to normal.

"Speak for yourself," the bed said.

"I am," Thorian observed, tucking his hands behind his head and crossing one ankle over the other. A pair of eyes rose up on stalks and glared at Thorian. The skin around them was white and patterned like the feathers had been but they were definitely not feathers.

"Would you mind getting off?" the bed asked in a dangerously flat voice. Thorian pursed his lips and thought about it.

"No," he said at last, "If I don't move I can't hurt myself." He wriggled deeper into the bed or at least tried to, it was distinctly feeling like the shell of the giant crab dude that Ulrich had added to his zoo.

"Well, if that's how you like to play it," the bed said, still in that dangerously flat voice.

"Yep, that's how I..." Thorian began. The bed bucked and Thorian was falling again. He sighed, resigning himself to another age of boredom then he was sliding down a surface that felt like it had a lot of grooves cut into it. He flung out a hand and then he wasn't sliding down the surface but rather sliding along it, tumbling to a stop on a smooth stone floor. He shook his head and sat up. He seemed to be in a corridor but one not quite like anything he'd ever seen. The floor was so smooth it was polished and rows of red boxes stood, stacked one on top of the other, along the corridors. Thorian rubbed his head and then a voice yelled through the corridor accompanied by a metallic buzzing that grated on the nerves.

Thorian jumped to his feet and stared around but couldn't see the source of the noise.

"Jerry," he cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, "Tell the monks to shut up!" The noise cut off so he guessed that he'd guessed right about it being Jerry's fault.

"Student Thorian," a voice cracked like a whip, "You are later for class yet again!" A tall, blue scaled dragonkin stood behind him, a set of half moon glasses perched upon her muzzle, a dark emerald green scholars robe draping her form and a long pointing stick clutched in her hand. She glared down at him. "Do I need to reminded you that any more of this irresponsible behavior and you will be suspended?"

"No Miss," Thorian sighed and bowed his head before turning and heading towards a door, any door, he figured that it didn't matter. As he went he took his shirt off. He knew how dreams like this went and he might as well lose the clothes by his own hand than suddenly realize that he'd lost them without knowing how. He opened the door and walked through.

It was an ice field. The blue and white ripples of it stretched on forever in front of him, unending and bleak, the whistling wind whipping flakes of white passed him and nipping him in all sorts of uncomfortable places. A big white bear lumbered passed and sniggered as it went.

"Well that's just rude," Thorian planted his hands on his hips and realized that he was wearing some clothes. He was wearing a bright pink tutu, its skirt jutting out from the waist like he was wearing a big pink fan. He sniffed and rose up on his toes. The dance was terrible, even Thorian knew it was terrible because he tripped over and went butt over head into a snow bank. He stood up and ripped the tutu off, flinging it away before sitting down to take off his boots. The second one turned into a blue bunny rabbit that hopped forward a couple of times, stood up on its hind legs, hopped round to look at Thorian, blinked and washed its ears. Thorian laughed in delight and clapped his hands.

"Now this is more like it," Thorian said, "Aye like having new friends. Do you want to be mah friend?" The blue bunny twitched its nose at him. "Hey, what about you? Would you like to be my friend?" he called to the big white bear, which was now, somehow a cactus. "Um?" Thorian turned and looked about at the sound of a bicycle bell to see the blue bunny peddling off on a blue bike that had three wheels, Tri-1 emblazoned proudly down its side. Thorian frowned as the blue bunny peddled its way passed a door that stood in the middle of the desert without any walls to hold it up.

*

Kaelin looked round to see a cute portal standing on the back of the flying sheep's wool. It was a-door-able.  She looked at it and it looked back, blinking its single green eye that appeared to take the place of a window at the top of the door. She rolled her eyes and looked away, ignoring the door's invitation and also ignoring the creeping layer of black that crawled towards her, crunching and cracking as it came. Suddenly it retreated, squeaking and groaning like ice under pressure.

Kaelin lurched, hands grabbing the thick fur in front of her, fingers buried deep in the whirls and blotches of black splashed across its hide, knees gripping by instinct on the silver grey tube she was suddenly riding.

"What the damn?" she breathed as her dress flapped its wings at her. She seemed to be wearing a dress of monarch butterflies.

"Fear not good maiden," the silver grey tube swung its end to face her, revealing the broad face of a cat, "For I, Meowt, Guardian of Meow, have saved you!"

Kaelin yelled and punched it. It flopped over on the floor, revealing itself to be a giant glove puppet with no hand inside. Kaelin stepped closer and pocked it with a toe. It just sagged.

"Huh," Kaelin straightened out of her at the ready stance. Her dance fluttered at her. "Oh get off!" she slapped at them with her hands, butterflies exploding in all directions. Once she was sure she was down to being just her proper clothes she humphed and took a step forward.

"Whoa!" she yelled, arms flung wide, leaning first one way then the other way, trying to keep her balance as she slide over the glistening golden yellow surface, her boots digging runnels in what ever it was. As her forward progress slowed Kaelin sniffed. It was butter, she was sliding on a huge pat of butter.

"Alright!" she yelled, "I've had enough of this. I want out of this and I want out of it now! I don't care who you are - god, demon or primeval force of chaos - I want out now! You hear me?"

There was a greasy sounding splat to one side of her. Kaelin turned her head, corrected for the change in balance and saw a broad set of marble stairs leading up to some where. She rolled her eyes. Not only was this thing incredibly annoying but it also had delusions of grandeur. She turned, slipped, flung her arms out, keep her balance and carefully slide her feet towards the bottom of the stairs. She slid one way, she slid the other, she whirled her arms, she fell... and caught herself on the bottom of the banister as her feet slipped out from under her. She blew a sharp breath of relief and pulled her feet out of the butter. Clinging to the banister, working hand over hand she started making her way up the stairs, grunting and muttering about idiots who leave masses of butter all over the place.

*

 "And that is as far as I have come so far," Estella admitted as the cherry blossom petals floated in the air around them, the orchard where they now sat pink with the drifts of flowers, the beginnings of a new talisman in her hands, "Sinbar was fairly sure that I was on the right path to create the right runic array for Valodrael to help stabilize the energy transfer. I'm know that I can source the talisman wood, Sinbar has given me a reel of silver tap to press the runes into and one of the books I took from Nanny Tatters' lair did have a potion used to increase magically ability, which I was thinking of using as a varnish for the wood because I figure every little helps but my major hurdle is finding a power source big enough to act as the foundation for the whole. After what happened last time, I'm... I'm scared of getting it wrong." She closed her eyes, a tear sliding down her cheek. Valodrael shifted over and brought his wing up, pressing her close to his shoulder, resting his chin lightly on the top of her head as the talismans pressed close, gathering around to comfort their mother.

"You have been good for one another," Sheng Tie observed.

"Pardon," Estella looked up at him with a slight frown.

 "You have been good for one another," Sheng Tie said again, cradling his tea cup in his massively broad paws "I will confess that when I was Valodrael's host I was more concerned with trying to calm the storm that I sensed him to be. I saw him as a force of nature that needed to be calmed, channeled, tamed even. It took me many long years to learn to let go of that ambition and accept that where we civilized people see only the destruction that the storm leaves in its wake, nature sees opportunity. Where we see only the loss of what was burnt, nature sees a blank canvas that she can work her magic upon. Disasters can destroy a culture or it can make it grow. Valodrael is that disaster and it was foolish of me to think I had the right to constrict that disaster. I think you have done something that I, with all my will to tame and decrease, failed to do."

Valodrel looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

"You have made him a friend and that makes him wish to... to narrow the scope of destruction."

Valodrael grinned, a serial killer smile, as the form of a fish thrashed under his hide.

"Oh I am not saying that you are not dangerous, Valodrael," Sheng Tie observed, baring his own sharp teeth in a smile "You are still the storm but I think your are more focused than you used to be. The tornado is brutal for the people caught in its path but it is more focused than the cyclone that flings its destruction wide and you are no mindless air current that gouges the land upon which it walks."

"Want to bet?" Valodrael grinned.

"Maybe," Sheng Tie still smiled as he set down his cup and refilled the tea pot with water, "Maybe I too learnt something from you in our time together. Perhaps I learnt to enjoy the thrill of living dangerously, once in a while." He held the tea pot in both hands. Estella leaned forward as the steam started rising from the spout. She frowned and looked at Valodrael, annoyed with him about something.

"I can't hear you out here," he smiled, "I have many fine and impressive flaws. Being a mind reader is not one of them."

She blinked and then Sheng Tie laughed.

"You are wondering how I make the tea hot with no flame," his rounded figure rippled with mirth as he chuckled, "We will get to that in a moment. But first, you, Valodrael, asked me if I'll bet that you are no longer so mindless about the people you can harm so I ask you, if you and Estella finally settle some where and that country is invaded would you prefer to blow up a mountain to starve the invading army into submission? Or would you prefer to create a tornado and run it over the top of their army?"

Valodrael frowned as Sheng Tie poured the tea and set the pot down and then he snorted.

"I would prefer to create the tornado and run it over their army," he admitted, "And I could say that, as I am the last of my kind, waking a volcano would take too long to do or that I would enjoy watching their general's face as he see all his power vanish in one banshee shriek of screaming cloud more than watching their despair at slow starvation. But the truth is I'd use the tornado because I can control and direct that one so that it leaves Estella untouched, whereas a year without a summer would affect her as well as my targets." His eyes, the color of dying supernova, sparkled with wry humor. "You got me, old badger, you got me at last."

"No," Sheng Tie smiled, shaking his striped head a little, "I did not 'get you' because I could not do so. I was willing to be your host only because I thought that if I was I would be able to cage you, tame you, break you to the saddle like one would break a horse. Yes, I learnt to respect you as a force of nature that cannot be tamed and cannot be averted but my offer of friendship can too late, born out of an acceptance that I would not truly be free of the mistakes of my past. I could not erase them and I could not erase you and I should not have tried to. Our friendship came too late and was built on a foundation of struggle and control and domination. That is not the sort of friendship that could teacher you to want to narrow your focus and limit the reach of the damage you do. You bowed to my requests to restrain the destructive powers you unleashed because you chose to, the tension that you were choosing that path only to make me indebted to you, to make me afraid that one day you would not chose that path, was always there. But with Estella, has she ever had to ask you limit yourself? To consider the consequences of your actions to her? Has she ever asked you to think of judging who deserves to be the target of your need to hurt and destroy? Or do you do that before she asks, just to please her?"

Valodrael said nothing, just blinked at Sheng Tie but then he turned his head as Estella wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I know you," she whispered, "I see you. I know that you are a killer and that you enjoy it but I also trust you to leave that at the door when it comes to me. I trust to you."

"Some would say you are mad for that," Sheng Tie observed as he sipped his tea.

"I know," Estella looked at him, "But I was the prey of men who were monsters. Is it any wonder I now prefer the monster who can keep me save from men?"

"No it is not," Sheng Tie accepted, "But when it comes to that, you have told me that you now have a safe place and a friend in this Seraphar. And yet you have left there, leaving behind your most precious item in the care of another because you fear the risks of this journey. Still you journey, why?"

"Valodrael needs another body, one of his own, his own flesh and blood, one not tied to a parasitical relationship with a host," Estella stated.

"And yet going on this journey puts you in danger, has you facing risks, has you exposed to harm," Sheng Tie observed, "Both from wild beasts and monsters but also from your fellow men. How many times have you run the risk of being discovered as a girl to try and find the knowledge you think you need to restore Valodrael to his own form, something that some will like as not hate you for if they ever know that it was you who unleashed the destruction that is a Void Dragon upon them? How many times have you been afraid?"

Estella looked down as if trying to remember them all but she looked up again just as Valodrael started to shift.

"I don't care," she stated and there was a fire in her eyes, not the wild fire of Valodrael but a deep and well banked fire that could smolder away an eternity, "I don't care how far I have to walk, how much danger I have to face, I will find a way to repair the damage done to him and if he needs me at his side to face the Domilii then I will be there, one way or another."

"And that is why I say that you have been good for each other," Sheng Tie put down his cup, "Could you have imagined saying that when you first left your father's house?"

Estella opened her mouth, her gaze turning inward as she remained silent.

"No," she said at last.

"There you are then," Sheng Tie inclined his head and then rose, "Now to teach you what I know can help you. You have tried the way of the wizard and found that door closed to you but you have found other ways and I think that your idea of combining what you find towards the whole is sound."

"Well you and Sinbar are the only ones," Estella admitted, "Every other Magi I've consulted has been of the one way or the highway mind set."

"If you only listen to one way of wisdom your wisdom will become stagnant and rot into ignorance," Sheng Tie stated, stretching and rolling his arms, "Now I will show you our way of making magic."

Estella stared as she climbed to her feet, leaning on Valodrael while her legs were numb. The cherry orchard was gone, instead her talismans were moving around a wide open plateau of dusty earth, bare and hot under the sun. Sheng Tie turned and walked a little way from them. He pressed his paws together flat and then broke into a series of round house kicks that left fire scorching from his heels. Hands open but the fingers curled and the palms arched back so the heels of his palms led, the fire snapping in waves that roared through the air, he blistered through the moves of a kata, the fire searing sheets that sent heat ripples washing through the air. The fire was part of him , moving with him, bending to his will, to his motion. He flew with the flame, he floated on the air with it but when he planted his feet and stomped, shoulders surging with power as he punched, the air shook with the force of it. He was fire and heat, flowing like water, soaring like air and rumbling with the thunder of the earth. With one final blast he halted, balanced, calm and at ease.

"I was never able to fully teach you how to do that was I?" Sheng Tie smiled at Valodrael as he turned.

"I don't know," Valodrael smiled, "I may have picked up one or two ideas. Had to adapt them to myself though." He crocked his left forefinger and the claw lengthened, pulsing with with a furnace glow that sizzled in the air.

"And that my dear will be your task," Sheng Tie bowed to Estella, "You will have to adapt what you have seen here to your work and blend it with the whole."

"How?" Estella asked, "How do I adapt a magic that is dependent on motion to something that is static and solid?"

"Fire is not the only element Sheng Tie's people can use, though Sheng Tie was unusual for being able to blend the techniques of all the elements and adapt them to his own fire," Valodrael noted, standing beside her, though his head was high above hers, "I think I can share some memories with you, if you would like."

"That would be good," Estella noted, "But again, how does this help?"

"Think of the flow," Sheng Tie instructed, "Think of not the form but the feel, the rush and motion when purpose and direction are united. Here, what is this?" He drew something in the dirt with his staff.

"It's a horse," Estella looked at it a moment.

"Is it?" Sheng Tie asked, "It is a square with a dot inside it, attached to a long line that has a crooked line attached to it and a couple of short lines under the square. How is that a horse?"

"Ah I see," Estella crouched, studying it more closely, "It's not what a horse looks like, it is what a horse is, its speed and its spirit. It's... oh!" She touched the image and it moved with water before settling again.

"Sometimes an image can contain the soul of a thing," Sheng Tie noted, "And sometimes it is the simpler images that contain the most amount of soul."

"So if I carve it as... as a skeleton so to speak," Estella looked at the talisman she had started, "Rather than the outer appearance like this little one. If I look for the inner soul that the elements create and try to carve their image, it might work better?"

"Is it not worth a try?" Sheng Tie asked.

"Yes," Estella said on a deep breath, "Yes it is. Thank you for this lesson Master Sheng Tie. I promise to put it to good use."

"You are most welcome," Sheng Tie bowed, "Now, unfortunately, I think it is time for you to leave."

He gestured to the door that stood in the temple garden, its base buried in the drifts of cherry blossoms.

"Be well, where ever the two of you go," Sheng Tie bowed his head to them. They bowed back and turned towards the door. It blinked its green eye at them as the talismans fell in behind their mother. Behind them the notes of plucked metal strings played out.

"Seeds of the time,

Caught in the flow.

While we cling to the vine,

Scared of what's below.

Little running boy,

Come running home.

Brave running boy,

Can I come home?"

 Estella lifted her hand to the door knob and turned it. The door opened and they stepped through.

*

Jeremiah watched Ulrich disappear below the surface of the water and picked up a cloth. He wiped the table and then settle down to finish his meal. It was so much more pleasant now that he was no longer having to endure the company of uneducated yokels. He enjoyed intelligent conversation, which was why he preferred it when the others shut up.

The food was also very good, when the plate wasn't trying to run off with it.

"Get back here!" Jeremiah thundered but the crockery dashed to the end of the table, jumped down to the bench and then to the floor without really breaking stride, giggle manically as it did so. Jeremiah flung his legs over the bench and gave chase. He had enough missed meals that he wasn't going to miss out on this one. The plate jogged over the floor, shiny white legs pumping and little arms swinging as it laughed at him. Pounding after it, Jeremiah glared as it wiggled its way around the edge of a half open door. Part of Jeremiah's mind recognized that the door didn't seem to belong to the rest of the building, being too ornate in the wrong style and the big green jewel in the top half... Part of him thought he saw it wink at him as he yanked the door open and dived through after his food but he was too focused on reclaiming his dinner to pay it much attention.

"Got you!" he snapped as he seized the impolite piece of ceramic and lifted it into the air. It wiggled its little arms and kicked its little legs but there was nothing it could do as he straightened up.

"It is amazing that you don't seem to understand that the only reason I'm not throwing you on the floor, there by breaking you into a thousand pieces is the fact that you still have part of my dinner on you," Jeremiah observed to it. It ceased its wiggling but wasn't quite done yet.

"What floor?" it asked, its voice surprisingly deep. Jeremiah looked and stepped back from where his foot had been right on the edge. Below him spread a town in shades of red and purple, the houses delightfully wobbly, leaning together for support, even while the people walked around straight and true, people that seemed to come from the fever dream of someone who had drunk too much, with every facial and physical distortion possible but all seemed to be enjoying the day, light up as it were from a sky that seemed more pink than blue. Something huge, with fixed wings, painted in metal greys flew over head, making the world roar with the noise of its passage and scattering the flocks of pink elephants to the skies.

"Humph," Jeremiah groused over the apparent lack of order this place had. There was no obvious sign as to who was high rank and who was low rank. How was one to know who it was that one needed to control if there was no way of telling who held the power?

He turned his back and headed back to the door, which was just in the last moments of folding up and disappearing.

"Humph," Jeremiah snorted again and looked around. There was at least a picnic table near by, which although it lacked the dignity necessary to his station was at least better than having to sit upon the ground. He sat down, the bench groaning beneath him, and finished his meal, making sure to hang on to his plate as he did so. It was rather fascinating to watch the purple clouds go sailing over head as he ate, they were tolerable, if rather slow entertainment.

He was just pushing his now empty plate way, when the picnic table lurched below him. Jeremiah's stomach took a bruising from the edge of the table but he hung on as the tables legs extended and extended until he was uncomfortably high up in the air and then began to stride off, its stride impossibly long and its gait lurching as it strode with one side of feet and then the other side, making its back roll back and forth in a manner not at all like a horse. Jeremiah grunted and clung on but he was not at all happy about being tossed back and forth like a salad in a bowl.

Mouth set in a grim line he clung and struggled and climbed up on to the table top and managed to tug his feet underneath him. He crouched for a moment getting a felt for the tables rhythm and testing his wings before he leapt with a mighty down beat. The walking table fell away behind him almost at once, as did the rest of the land. It suddenly seemed so much easier to fly than it had the first few times he'd tried it. Now he understood why dragons and birds flew so high, much higher than they could ever see prey upon the ground but he would never admit it out loud to anyone. He banked, intending to return to the ground, except there was no ground to return to.

All round him the billows and mounds of a cloud made landscape spread out, its humps and hallows, made from the stuff that appeared to whipped cream. Jeremiah grunted and flew on. Of course this was how it was going to go, this day just wasn't going to make sense, oh no, of course it couldn't just make sense, that would be far to easy. Grumbling and grousing to himself he flew on, soaring through the maze of cloud stuff, which darkened behind him with the pressure of his thoughts. Or was it that his thoughts were calling something to him. He didn't look back.

At last, just as his chest muscles, really were beginning to burn he spotted something ahead of him. It was like  an inverted mountain hanging in the sky and on the flat ground made by its chopped off base, what looked to be a tavern had been built.

"At last," Jeremiah rolled his eyes and flapped towards his new destination. As he came closer he blinked. Surely there was something wrong with his eyes. There wasn't. When he set foot in the yard outside the tavern that was all he could set there - one foot. The tavern didn't even come up to his knee and the door seemed to have been built with mice in mind.

 Jeremiah sighed, fanning his wings to balance while he desperately tried to remember the words of the shrink spell, Gerald buzzing above him to keep his miter in place. After far too long he remembered what he was searching for and chanted the words of the shrink spell.

He groaned and stretched, trying to ease the cramp out of his muscles as he looked up at the tavern. It did seem to be a respectable establishment, at least it didn't smell at first glance. He stepped up to the door and swung it open.

He'd stepped through before his eyes had finished telling him what they had seen. The massive wooden post in front of him wasn't the central support holding up the roof. It was a chair leg. Jeremiah stared up at the table top high above him and looked around for the door, to double check that the spell hadn't go wrong some how. The door had disappeared.

"Oh that's is absolutely fantastic," he sermonized at the wall, not paying attention to the earthquakes set off by a giant walking passed, "Just how thoughtful of you to block up the way out. Far be it for me to want to walk out of the building you tricked my into with the false promise of a hot bath, a decent meal and a soft bed. Oh no, you have to trap me in here now that you have tricked my into shrinking myself down to a ridiculously tiny size. How wonderful of you to be so considerate for my health and well being that you expose me to the risk of being trodden on by over size feet that have nothing better to do all day than stomp around in establishments of ease and let their owners drink more than is good for them. How considerate of you..."

He carried on and on... and on, not remembering the fact the giant feet were not the only risk to beings that were the size of mice, particularly beings that were the size of mice and were doing an awful lot of squeaking at a wall.

The paw descended like an avalanche of white fur on the top of his head, mashing him to the floor and driving the breath from his lungs.

"Get off of me!" he bawled, flapping his wings. The paw let him up. Jeremiah surged to his feet, glaring up at the dragon sized kitten that was looking down at him with the bluest eyes imaginable.

"You fluff brained inebriate," Jeremiah yelled up at it, hands on hips, "You lack luster, moronic excuse for a pest control department. Can you not recognize a proper human being from the brainless things called mice? If this is the state of feline kind, I dread to think what will happen during the next plague of rats. You're useless!"

The kitten sat down and tilted its head over sideways, obviously puzzled by this shouting mouse that had wings.

"Hello," Jeremiah clicked his fingers at the kitten's face, "Anyone in there? Jeremiah to cat brain, come in cat brain? Calling cat's thinking abilities across the miles? You dull witted excuse of a waste disposal bin reject. Perhaps you ought to think of applying to the wizard laboratory guide as a test subject, or did they reject you from there as well? You..." Jeremiah lurched as he tried to step forward and realized he couldn't as he was being held up to his knees. He looked don in horror, realizing that he was sinking into the floor.

"Well don't just stand there!" he yelled at the kitten, "Get me out. Get me out!"

The kitten leaned forward and delicately sniffed at him but kept a wary distance, unsure if Jeremiah bit or not.

"Oh dear Klu'ga-nath help me!" Jeremiah yelled as he sank above the knee, the wood of the floor oozing and flowing like treacle. It seemed to flow quicker in response to the name.

"I said get me out!" Jeremiah demanded of the kitten, "So get me out!"

The kitten sat back and watched as he sank up to the waist. Jeremiah thumbed the air with his wings but the treacle floor was fouling them and weighing them down.

"Damn you!" he spat at the kitten as he sank to the chest and then barked the words of a prayer. Just before his head went under, he shot a bolt of flaming, scorching embers at the kitten's nose but he didn't get the pleasure of seeing whether or not they had hit as his head went under and he was being tumbled along in the grip of a current he couldn't fight.

"Did you hear that," Sinbar asked, looking at one of the black spots that spread like a rash laid out with a ruler as far as the eye could see on both the floor and the ceiling.

"Hear what my duckies?" the Bat Clan member asked, standing on a black spot behind them. He sank out of view as they were sorting out their arms and legs.

"Just what the heaven is going on?" Sabal yelled.

"Situation unclear," Tasnar's voice said from his right. Sabal looked. Tasnar's head and shoulders were dangling from one of the spots on the ceiling while the rest of his body was crouched on the floor behind them, sticking its head into the hole to have a look around.

"I wonder," Quenril jumped, gabbed the edge of a spot and hauled himself into a spot on the ceiling. Sabal shrugged and looked around.

"Over here ducks," the Bat Clan member called. Sabal span and charged. He ran over one, two, three black spots and then yelled as the fourth one turned out to be a hole. He landed with a grunt on the floor of spots again.

"May I suggest looking before you leap?" Tasnar asked, from where his head was now in the floor to Sabal's left while his body was on the right. Quenril landed gracefully on his feet.

"We could try," he said dubiously. They all stuck their heads in a different black spot to the ones tried before.

"I did not need to see that," Sabal said, from where his head was ten feet away from the rest of him. His head had come up looking at Tasnar's feet end where it was crouched, looking into its own spot.

"Just how did we get into this situation?" Tasnar asked as he pulled his head back out of the spot he'd put it into.

"Unclear," Quenril admitted, standing up and lifting the edge of the spot until it stood up on its edge before him, like a portal. "Maybe..." he walked into it. The other two yelped as the spot fell flat on the floor, entrance side down. Sabal reached it first and when he couldn't lift it, he tried jumping up and down on it a couple of times. When that didn't work he looked at Tasnar and shrugged, just before he vanished with a high pitched scream. Tasnar stood at the edge and looked over. He turned as he heard something behind him. Quenril's head bulged through one of the others spots, stuck like the sun coming up through a turtle neck jumper.

"What the..." Tasnar forgot himself, stepped back and fell.

He tumbled into a corridor to find the other two climbing to their feet.

"I'm beginning to se why the fat one goes on about his dignity so much," Sabal was saying as he pulled his clothes straight.

The Bat Clan member came out of door number five and bounced across the corridor on a stick. Door number six opened for him and he disappeared. The three Ash Elves charged after him. A moment later, Quenril came out of door four and ran in at door one. Sabal came out of door three and bolted for door five. Tasnar limped out of door one and hobbled to door four, a crab pinching his toes. Sabal came back through, from doors four to five, screaming as he was chased by a swarm of centipedes, giant centipedes.

Quenril came out of door six and paused for breath. Door three swung up, door four swung down and the Bat Clan member peddled through the corridor on something that was made of one huge wheel and one tiny one, ringing  a tiny bell as he did so. Quenril sighed and chased him again.

Tasnar came out of door one and crawled through door three on his hands and knees. Sabal came out of door six and sprinted for door three, having to leap two or three times to reach the handle and use his body weight to swing the door open. Quenril rolled out of door five and scrambled for door one.

The Bat Clan rowed out of door two and into door four.

Quenril stumbled into the corridor and stood, clutching a stitch in his side. A mouse hole suddenly appeared in door five and both Sabal and Tasnar bolted across the corridor and through the cat flap that was suddenly in door six.

Quenril just stopped and stared as the pair of them ran, sometimes together, sometimes apart, sometimes their proper size, sometimes huge, sometimes small, across the corridor again and again. Door six to four, one to five, three to one, four to six, five to three, six to one.

Quenril stuck two fingers in his mouth and whistled, a high piercing note that made the ears ring. Sabal and Tasnar skidded to a halt to look at him.

"Why aren't we using door two?" Quenril asked. They blinked and then they all turned to look at door two. It looked back, blinking its big green eye. Taking a deep breath, Quenril marched up to it and took hold of the handle.

*

 Ulrich turned at the sound of knocking, something banging on the stage behind him. He blinked.

There was a trapdoor that he didn't remember being there a minute ago. It also seemed to be knocking. Now either that was a deliberate attempt to put him off his lines or there was someone in trouble under there.

"What is this?" Ulrich proclaimed for the benefit of the audience, "What manner of beast tries to claw its way out of the underworld. Let us look upon it and if it is a foe, I shall righteously smite it!" Drawing his sword he pocked the trapdoor.

It flew open and a geyser of water shot out of it to plume just below the ceiling and shower the auditorium with water. There was a yell as something dark shot through the trap door and a second later Jeremiah plopped on to the stage, shaking his head as the water rained down around him. He tilted his head to one side and smacked it, before pinching his nose and blowing out his cheeks.

"Well I say old chap," Ulrich noted, "How did you get in there with the contents of the ocean?"

"How did you get so small?" Jeremiah replied, not at all happy about the state of his clothes.

"I'll have you know that I am perfectly formed," Ulrich protested, "I, Captain Ulrich of the HMS Attirement, am made perfectly, as the gods intended." 

"Captain of the what?" Jeremiah spat, looking around, "And where is that blasted cat."

"No cat here old boy," Ulrich informed him proudly, "Just my warship."

"What warship?" Jeremiah demanded, looking around at the trees and the wild flowers nodding in the breeze, "We are in a forest glad. Have you been drinking something you shouldn't have had?"

"What are you talking about?" Ulrich asked back, "I was just regaling my audience with the tales of my dashing daring do as the captain of... Oh. Oh. Oh, you are right. Oh. Oh. Well. Now how did that happen?"

"Yes well," Jeremiah finished wringing his beard out, "Well, we are not all blithering idiots." He climbed slowly to his feet.

The was an explosions of squeaks from the underbrush and a large, shaggy creature waddled out, its large blunt snout lifting into the air as it shifted at them. It bruxed its teeth at them, its stumpy legs making it look rather like a giant, hairy potato that had some how become perambulatory.

"Tell me, Jeremiah," Ulrich looked at it, "Are you beginning to feel peckish?"

The creature squeaked and dashed away through the underbrush. It had a surprising turn of speed, bounding through the bush low to the ground as Ulrich and Jeremiah crashed after it.

Kaelin turned her head at the noise. The stair case had ended in the middle of a forest and she had just been wondering which way to go. The shaggy, button eyed creature that skidded to a stop in front of her reminded her of a certain fur ball she'd seen not that long ago as she was the one that had thrown it up. It also reminded her of the haggises that occasionally wandered down into the lower hills. They were good eating.

The haggis picked up what she was thinking and turned its stumpy tail and dashed back into the undergrowth, squealing as it went. She dived after it, bones cracking into their wolf configuration. The wolf was hungry. It had been through fights, it had been through battles, it had been thoroughly terrified by Jeremiah's shadow beasts but it hadn't had a decent hunt the entire time it had been stuck with the King's Special. It wanted a hunt and Kaelin was of the mind to let it have a hunt.

Ulrich and Jeremiah were just beginning to slow down, wondering if they had lost track of the potential dinner, when it bounded out from under a brush, saw them squealed and dived back the way it came. Ulrich dived after it but missed. Jeremiah burst through the bush but the creature bounded away with a yell.

They charged through the bush. Kaelin charged through the bush.

At the last second Ulrich realized that not all the crashing in the bush was the creature trying to get away. He swerved side ways and stumbled to a halt while behind him there was a resounding smack of two heads meeting in the middle of the bush.

 "My dear Kaelin," Jeremiah straightened, rubbing his forehead, "Was there any particular reason why you felt the need to prevent me from catching dinner by using your head as a battering ram? Or were you trying to knock some more sense into yourself?"

Kaelin glared at him, debating whether or not to bite him again but the wolf had been shocked out of her by the collision and she couldn't be bothered to go through the pain of calling it up again. Instead she surged to her feet and shoved him. Or at least she tried to shove him.

What actually happened was she bounced off, like a rubber ball, though Ulrich wasn't sure which of them was the wall and which of them was the rubber ball.

Kaelin yowled as she rolled through a bush and then held still.

"Oh I say Kaelin, are you alright?" Ulrich called. She didn't move. "Kaelin? Are you okay?" He moved closer to her.

Kaelin got up. She got up very slowly. She got up covered in sticky burrs.

"Oh," Ulrich noted, "Ah." He grimaced. Kaelin glared out of one eye, the other covered by a mass of sticky burrs and hair. "Well, it should be painless enough to get them off your clothes," he suggested. She did not look impressed. "Um, do you want my help?" he asked. There was a slight, very slight, nod.

 "Okay, let's start with the clothes."

*

Thorian scratched his head. He had decided against trying to use that weird door thing that looked back at him and had instead set out to walk across the desert. The only problem was that he had gone all of ten and two steps and the forest had grown out of the desert that fast that he had become completely turned around. He had thought he'd turned around and gone back the way he'd come but he had gone a lot more than ten and two steps and he still hadn't found the desert again.

He scratched his head again, trying to work out which way was best. There was a squeak from the underbrush and a snow pig looked out at him. It squeaked again, blinking its button eyes and then it turned its back and started waddling away from him pretty quickly. Thorian grinned and then uncurled his whip. It cracked most satisfactory and wrapped around the snow pigs back leg. It squeal as Thorian reeled it in.

"I'm going to remember that," Thorian grinned as he grabbed the snow pig's scruff, "And I'm going to remember you. You are so cute!"

The snow pig wiggled, squeaking like an ungreased door hinge.

"Get off me you fool," it squeaked, "I was trying to get you back to your friends!"

Thorian blinked.

"Nope," he said at last, "Snow pigs don't talk so I'm going to ignore that you said that and just give you a hug!"

"Oh no!" it yelled as Thorian's arms closed about it in a steel strong grip. It made a noise of distress and then popped into confetti.

"I knew he wasn't real," Thorian sighed. His little furry friends always did that.

Kaelin twitched an ear as she heard the bang but she didn't say anything as Ulrich worked away on the mass of burrs on the back of her head.

"I'm sorry Kaelin," he said with a grimace, "But unless you are willing to let me cut these out, this last lot is going to have to come out the hard way."

"No to the cutting," Kaelin snarled, "So just get on with it."

"As you wish," Ulrich worked the comb into the hair and started a long, slow pull. Kaelin gritted her teeth. Ulrich grabbed the hair between her scalp and the mass he was brushing out as quickly as he could and gripped it tight, pulling back against the comb to hurry up the process and give her hair roots a little slack.

"Almost..." he said. Kaelin bit her lip, tears starting from her eyes. "There..." he exclaimed triumphantly, "That's the last of them out."

"Argh!" Kaelin rubbed her scalp with both hands, "Thank you, I guess."

"Glad to be of assistance," Ulrich grinned and tucked away his comb, "Hello, what's this." Thorian came blundering and pushing his way through the bushes. "Well hello Thorian, where have you been."

"Oh I've been many places," Thorian shrugged, "I've been in the sky, I've been on the ground, I've been in a desert and I've been in a bed. I miss that last one."

"Well in all your travels have you seen a warship by any chance?" Ulrich asked.

"Nah," Thorian shrugged, "Just confetti."

"Oh well there's no confetti here," Ulrich looked around, "Just a warship that I seem to have misplaced, along with my captain's uniform. Most inconsiderate of it all."

Thorian frowned at Ulrich, the slow gears in his mind turning. Eventually the gears decided upon Ulrich having had the same sort of day he'd been having.

"Ulrich?" he asked, "Would you do me a favor? Slap me."

"I beg your pardon!" Ulrich protested, "Gentlemen done go around slapping people, it is bad form!"

Thorian slapped him for refusing. Ulrich wobbled like one of those punch bags that are on the end of a pole attached to the floor.

"Thorian," Ulrich said in measured tones, "I know you were unset with me for refusing to slap you but I thought I only had to put up with that sort of behavior from Kaelin."

"Charmed I'm sure," Kaelin folded her arms.

"Are you still looking for this ship thing you were going on about?" Thorian asked.

"Yes," Ulrich admitted slowly. Thorian slapped him again.

"Alright that does it!" Ulrich snapped and slapped back.

"Oh for some banged grains," Jeremiah grinned as he leaned back against a tree near Kaelin to watch the slapping competition, which quickly wound up looking more like the batting paws stage of a cat fight. She grunted in reply.

Thorian slapped himself. He slapped himself quite hard.

"You see?" Ulrich asked, immediately stepping back from the slapping competition, "Your uncouth behavior has received its just reward." He grinned and bowed to Thorian.

"This is madness!" Thorian roared, "This whole damn place is madness! I've been flown about by an round thing with a great long nose, had creatures pop into confetti and now you're bumbling about, talking about a ship wot don't don't exist! This place is madness!" 

Ulrich nodded along to Thorian's rant, not really listening because he was too busy watching the lump bloom and swell on Thorian's head. Some how Thorian really didn't notice that he now had a protuberance a kin to the start of a deer's antler growing out of the side of his face where he'd slapped himself.

Kaelin sighed and looked away from all the noise, then frowned and straightened. There was a door in the trunk of a tree that she hadn't seen before. A door that would have looked out of place just about any where as it was too fancy and the large green gem in the top looked rather like an eye. Thorian's ranting faded into the back ground as she stared at it. She walked slowly over, turned her head one way and then the other. The door didn't change. She lifted a finger and pocked the green gem. It blinked and looked back at her. Kaelin tensed ready to bolt. The door swung open towards her, revealing a chamber in the Underworld. Behind her, pain and shock finally caught up to Thorian and he toppled over, face down in the flowers. Ulrich seemed quite impressed by how long Thorian had lasted.

It was a smallish cave, with cot beds arranged around the outside of it and a fire pit in the middle. Kaelin leaned forward and sniffed.

"Smells right," she noted. She crouched down and pocked a finger through the door way to touch the stone floor. "Feels right as well."

"Erm guys!" she called over her shoulder, "I think I've found the way out!" She stepped cautiously forward, into the chamber. Jeremiah watched her for a while and when he was quite sure that she hadn't been disintegrated into ash he turned. Fingers weaving through the mystic symbols, murmuring the words of the prayer to Klu'ga-nath, he half closed his eyes. The dust moved through the blades of grass and swirled up to become three skeletons. Jeremiah smiled, wondering if they were the skeletons of Ulrich's three Ah Elf body guards. What delicious irony that would be.

"Guard him," he pointed at Thorian and the three clustered about him, almost leaning over him. Jeremiah smiled, absolutely certain that Thorian would have a heart attack when he woke up and saw that lot. He turned and stepped through the door.

"Don't you worry chaps," Ulrich waved, "I'll join you in a minute, I've just got to find where I put my ship. I know its around here some where." He turned and wandered off into the trees, muttering about angles and star patterns and date lines. Jeremiah smiled and let the door swing shut.

Kaelin sighed and rolled over. After a moment she frowned and then sat up. The blanket fell away from her, pooling in her lap. She looked around the little chamber. Estella stretched like a ferret and then flopped again over her cot.

"In a minute," she mutter to her unseen passenger.

Ulrich was also sat up and looking about him, particularly his clothes.

"Oh," he said, "Oh botherations. And here was me thinking that someone had finally recognized my worth in the world."

"What worth?" Jeremiah asked, already pulling his boots on.

"Alright, no need to be snide," Ulrich said pushing back the blanket and reaching for his boots, "Did any of the rest of you chaps dream about meeting up in a forest?"

"If you mean when aye got a great big lump on mah head, yes," Thorian noted, rubbing at his jaw where an ache with no source was still nagging at him.

"Did any of the rest of you dream of getting out of it through a door that had a big green gem that looked like an eye?" Estella asked.

"As a matter of fact we did," Tasnar admitted.

"Sharing dreams?" Ulrich raised his eyebrows, "Is that a common occurrence, do you know old bean?" He looked at Jeremiah. He kept looking.

"When a group of people have eaten such spicy food as our little hosts were serving up last night, then yes," Jeremiah answered, tugging his collar straight. Ulrich made an odd noise and Gerald seemed to be buzzing an odd note. As that was just above his ears, it was very irritating. Estella made an odd noise as well. Jeremiah glared at her, holding her gaze, despite only one human eye looked back at him, the other taken up by her draconnic hitchhiker. She made the noise and then gave up.

"Sorry," she mumbled, "I just can't!" She buried her face in her pillow and laughed until the whole cot shook, surfacing to grab a breath and then plunging her face into the pillow once more to muffle the sound.

"Really?" Jeremiah asked.

"Um," Thorian said, pointing, "Wot are those sticking out of your head?"

"Sticking out of my head?" Jeremiah asked in concern and put one hand up to his miter. He put both hands up to his miter. Kaelin worked at keeping her face straight.

Jeremiah now had the impressive antlers of a stag royal.

"Um, well," Ulrich noted, "I don't think that rabbit you partook of last night was just a rabbit. I think you dined on Jackobeast."

"Jackobeast?" Jeremiah looked slightly worried, though he was trying to hide it.

"Yeah, shouldn't be anything to worry about," Ulrich noted, "And one has to say that your new crown does really suit you."

"Look think so?" Jeremiah sounded like he actually wanted Ulrich's approval.

"Without a doubt," Ulrich reassured, "And it is said that those who can catch a jackobeast and eat it gain some of its impressive agility. You should find it easier to keep up the walking pace now."

"Oh well, then that's okay," Jeremiah actually smiled an honest to gods smile, like he really believed what Ulrich said and that it mattered to him.

"Uh oh," Kaelin noted, "I don't think that was fish you were eating last night."

"Oh Kaelin what ever do you mean?" Ulrich questioned.

"That was mermaid," Kaelin stated, "You just convinced Jeremiah in two seconds flat. You've got the siren's tongue."

"Ah," Ulrich beamed, "Well that should be useful, after all, I've won us allies in unusual places before, having a trick up the sleeve that will make it even can't hurt, surely?"

Kaelin fought not to smile back.

"It doesn't work so well on those who know what you are up to," she stated.

"Up to?" Ulrich protested as he started rooting through his pack to find some breakfast. This long sleep lark had made him hungry. "Who said I was up to anything. I was merely thinking out loud that if it wasn't for my already glib tongue then it might really have been poison in the food last night and not a little extra to make us all go nighty-night so they could move us out of their territory with no chance of us being able to find our way back."

"You have a point," Kaelin admitted, stretching again and then wondered if she really did agree or whether it was just Ulrich's new ability affecting her. She was quickly distracted from that thought when she felt the extra weight on her back. She looked over one shoulder and her mouth fell open. The feathery wings shifted and twitched as she looked at them. She closed her mouth and thought of the new feeling, tracing the changes to bone and bone, flesh and muscle with her mind. The wings opened at her command.

"Oh whoa!" Estella stared in admiration at them, "They're beautiful!"

"They're going to take some getting used to," Kaelin gave them an experimental flap and toppled over on the bed.

"Griffon eggs," Quenril observed, "Must be."

"Get them right and that might be the each you need against your grandfather," Estella added.

"How come everyone else gets something shiny and I don't? It's not fair!" Thorian stood up and stamped his feet. "Ea-ow!" He yelled, sitting back down quick. The shard of stone had gone completely through his foot. He gripped his ankle and whimpered.

"Don't worry," Ulrich hurried over, "Kaelin, if you can get the for-healing potion?"

"On it," Kaelin called, digging into her pack. She listened with half an ear as she searched.

"No word of a lie, this is going to hurt so on the count of three, one... two." Thorian bellowed as the shard came free.

"Kaelin, hurry... up..."

Kaelin looked up as Ulrich's voice trailed off. Thorian's foot was already healed up, there wasn't even a scar. Ulrich grabbed a cloth and wiped the blood away. There wasn't a mark.

"Hydra meat," Tasnar nodded, laying a hand on Ulrich's shoulder as he leaned over to look.

"Must have been those chippy things I was eating last night," Thorian mused as he reached for his boots, "I didn't think they tasted like root veggies."

"My lord!" Tasnar suddenly exclaimed. Ulrich was sagging sideways. Quenril and Sabal dashed forward and half lifted, half pulled him back on to his cot.

"What did you do to him?" Sabal snarled, rounding on his cousin, eyes glowing.

"Nothing, I swear," Tasnar threw up his hands, "I just touched his shoulder. I..." He looked at his hands. "I... My hands are cold."

"Shite," Quenril whispered, "Basilisk! You were eating basilisk."

"I didn't know!" Tasnar protested, "I..." His voice trailed off.

"You damn idiot moron!" Sabal advanced on him, eyes still glowing, "You could have killed the Matriarch's favorite and damned us all to the forfeit! Of all the stupid things to do!"

Tasnar was frozen to the spot, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to blink.

"Enough!" Quenril roared, a red flush shifting over his skin, stepping between them, "You will not harm my brother and Tasnar will learn to be careful with his hands in future, while you will learn to control those eyes of yours."

"What?" Sabal asked, looking at him but Quenril immediately dropped his gaze to Sabal's chest.

"Your eyes, cousin," he said, "That cheese was chimera curd. Any that meet you eyes now will run the risk of you draining their energy. Learnt to control them."

"How do you know?" Sabal looked down at Quenril's boots.

"I could feel it," Quenril stated, his skin flushing a darker blue than its natural blue grey, "You were leeching off my brother without even touching him."

 "Oh dear gods," Tasnar said backing away from him. Sabal stepped back as well, one hand covering his mouth. He looked like he was going to be sick any moment now.

"What?" Quenril looked from one to the other, the blue shade in his skin increasing as his frustration grew.

Kaelin stood up slowly, staring at him.

"I don't think those were octopus legs in that fry up you were having last night," she said.

"Pardon?" Quenril queried and then the blue dropped from his skin and pulsating green took its place.

"The Begetters were mind readers, weren't they?" Kaelin asked, "And you can now hear people's minds, can't you?"

Quenril stared at her and then crumpled to the floor, his skin turning yellow, as he very nearly heaved.

"No," Ulrich stepped in, "No we are not going to have that. You didn't know because none of us thought to ask what the meat was, we just helped our selves. It was bad timing and worse luck, nobody is at fault here. And when we make it back to the surface, we will tell Lady Zilrva that Quenril was blessed by the Begetters during our travels, won't we?" Nobody answered. "Won't we?" Ulrich repeated, raking his gaze round the chamber. One by one they all nodded.

"Yes, my Lord," Tasnar nodded, meeting Ulrich's eyes.

"Yes, my Lord," Sabal muttered, nodding, looking at the floor.

"Very well then," Ulrich nodded, "Let's get some breakfast inside us all and then we can press on to the surface. The sooner we are back up there the sooner we can deal with Kaelin's up coming deadline on the forfeit and send the werewolves and who ever else is their allies back to the wilds where they belong."

"I'll do the tea," Estella offered, jumping up and digging through her pack. She stopped and giggled.

"Look at this," she waved her hand again. The sparkles hung in the air, before slowly beginning to drift down and fade out of existence as they did so, "Now this is cool!" She concentrated and it looked like the teapot poured itself into the first of the cups.

"Why thank you muchly," Ulrich picked it up and went to drink, only the cup was dry.

"Just an illusion," Estella smiled, "Now this could be useful." She waved her hands again, leaving the sparkles in the air.

"Sprites," Jeremiah observed.

"Your meaning sir?" she asked as she filled the teapot.

"It wasn't chicken wings you were nibbling on last night," Jeremiah smiled and it was his usually not nice smile, "You were eating sticky fried sprites. How does it feel to know you've eaten some of the fairy folk, my dear?"

"Ha," Estella smiled, "I've had run ins with sprites and I'll count last night as a chance to bite back so no discomfort here. Sorry to disappoint you and all that."

Jeremiah smiled sourily and sat back on his cot.

"So chums," Ulrich smiled more naturally as he sat down on his cot, "Any idea where we are pointed after breakfast?"